This is a serious problem for me.
I am pretty clever, I guess, but when I’m with friends I often catch myself making some smart-ass comment, usually showing off some random factoid which happens to sort-of relate to whatever is passing at the time.
Example: We were walking through a park and saw someone wearing a beret. Someone referenced an old beret joke. Then when a (bag)piper came toward us in full kilt etc, some mention was made of his beret. Without waiting for my moron-filter to kick in, my mouth opened and I said: “That’s not a beret, it’s a tam-o-shanter.” An awkward pause.
This kind of clanger spews forth from my mouth at horribly regular intervals. I think others are starting to hate me. I’m starting to hate me! It gets worse if beer’s involved. I read widely and drop clumps of poetry into discussions about teabags. My sister kind of does the same thing and I DESPISE it when she does. Help me!
I am making an effort to CUT IT OUT, including getting one friend to kick me if I say something showoffy. It speaks volumes for her worth as a human being that she is entering into the spirit of these corrections with a will.
Anyone else share a similar affliction? Anyone got any tips?
Switch to scotch.
I, too, am an unwilling knee-jerk joker, punster and pedant. It bothers the hell out of me; it bothers those around me even more.
I had to start asking myself why I felt a need to show off my intelligence. I mean, I know I’m smart and witty, the people I care about know it too. The only thing my insistence upon proving it was doing was to alienate others.
Then I realised that I was only doing it because of old shit in my childhood that I was hanging on to, and it was having the opposite effect of what was intended. That truly helped me to be more aware of what I was doing, and my Verbal Editor started working overtime. I still give him vacations, but at least he’s employed.
I have the same condition, to some degree. I try to remember these two things:
(1) In these situations it’s more common to regret opening your mouth than keeping it shut.
(2) It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
I’m a bit like that when it comes to natural history. Finally, finally, after years of blurting stuff out, I learned that nobody else cares that those are ravens, not crows, or that local wild hogs are a hybrid of domestic pigs and European wild boars, etc. etc. Really, my motivation is to Share Cool Stuff, but it’s not seen that way.
This trick helped: repeating to myself that I will not be seen as helpful or informative, but officious and condescending.