Annoying People Thread

I work at a security desk in an office building. Up the road from us is another building we used to occupy, but no longer do. Every day, we get 20-30 people come in looking for the welfare office, which now occupies space in out old building.

Today, a young woman comes in the building, and I know right away she is looking for the office in the other building, since she looked lost, and wandered right through the security sentinals causing an alarm. The conversation went like so:

Me: You want that building right over there Miss. (Pointing out the window to the only tall building visible).
Her: How do you know what building I want?
Me: Everyone who comes in and wanders right through the sentinals always wants that building over there.

Her: Do I have it written across my face?

Me: No.

Her: (Waiting a few moments) I want social services.

Me: You want that building right over there miss. (pointing again to the same building)

She leaves.
Usually, people can’t seem to understand what “Tall Brown Building means” even if I add “9 floors” to the description… and we practically have to walk them over to it even though the only other building visible is a school…

Got stories of annoying people at home/school/work?

Well, I have already told you about Pwincess Pwecious, my baby-talking coworker. Thank GOODNESS she’s pregnant, maybe she won’t come back from maternity leave . . .

There are also a few people on my commuter train:

• Makeup Lady. Apparently she has no bathroom or mirror in her home, so she has to apply complete Tammy Faye-caliber makeup on the train.

• Throat-Clearing Lady. Pretty much self-explanatory.

• Two-Seat Guy. Who glares at you and harrumphs angrily when you ask him to move his briefcase and coat so you can SIT DOWN.

• Fingernails-on-Blackboard Lady. Gorgeous. Looks like Jackie Kennedy. Perfect hair, clothes, makeup. But the VOICE: like Fran Drescher and Ethel Merman had a baby. She really should hock the clothes and get voice lessons.

Approximately 2 years ago, we relocated our business from south Austin to the surrounding countryside. However, as 99.9% of our work is still done in Austin, I retained our original telephone number for the convenience of our clients. It’s a tad costly as I pay both a rollover fee and a long distance charge but hey-that’s the price of doing business.

For some reason unknown to God or man, HUD in Austin has been giving out our number as the number for a section 8 housing complex and although I’ve called every possible authority that I can think of, no one will take responsibility for removing it. Fine. I’ve even memorized the correct number so that I can give it out.

Phone rings today. I’m on the other line and have to place a client on hold to answer it.

Me: Computer company
Her: Is this the Everhart Place?
Me: No-you have the wrong number. The correct number is 555-1122. That’s 555-1122. Have a nice day. Click.

Phone rings again.
Me: Computer company.
Her: I need to speak to the office manager.
Me: That would be me.
Her: Then I need the owner.
Me: That would be me. (Hey, we’re a small company)
Her: I want to complain that you hung up in my face.
Me: Excuse me? I gave you the correct number twice and wished you a nice day.
Her: You hung up in my face!!!
Me: Look. I get these calls all the time, I am paying long distance charges and ** I gave you the correct number! **
Her: You hung up in my face!!!

At which point I did. However, the addle plated twit called back ** yet again **. I must admit I got slightly testy and advised her to call the BBB and file a complaint against me for giving her the right phone number but failing to engage in a lengthy dialogue to answer questions about apartment that I know nothing about and aren’t renting at this time.

Jeez. Cull the herd.

Finger-nail Clipping Guy. Every G-D Monday morning, he comes in, sits right next to my desk, and proceeds to clip his fingernails, 1 micron at a time…clip…clip…clip…for hours on end. You’d think he had 57 fingers. Why he can’t o it at home is beyond me.

“Finger-nail Clipping Guy. Every G-D Monday morning, he comes in, sits right next to my desk, and proceeds to clip his fingernails, 1 micron at a time.”

—And the weird thing is, he doesn’t even WORK there!

At work, we’ve got the Slow-Talkin’ Mail Guy. You ask him if a package arrived, and he’ll say, “Well…I can go check…What did it look like…?” Civilisations have risen and fallen in the time it takes him to finish a sentence.

Also, there’s Pretzel Logic Guy. Ask him a simple question, and stand back!

That reminds me of Gr. 10 English… one of the popular football players was in my class, and he once took a nail clipper out to clip his toenails, right in the middle of class! Yes, the teacher was there, and told him to stop it. Why he couldn’t do that at home where he’d have more privacy (not to mention just being more respectful of school property and other people’s sensibilities) is beyond me!

And I thought this thread was about how to annoy people! :smiley:

In one of my classes (which is basically a discussion class), we have the ever-classic I’m Going To Use Big Words and Talk Fast So You Won’t Realize I’m Full of BS Guy.

Unfortunately for him, half of us are speed listeners. Also unfortunately for him, he’s stubborn, he jumps the gun, and he is as dumb as a sack of hammers. He also uses all the words incorreectly.

I wish I had aforementioned sack of hammers sometimes during class. I could happily spend the 90 minutes pounding his skull until it cracks, because that’s the only way a clue is ever going to get in there.

For my English major, I am being forced to take “Diverse Voices,” a 243-level class that is mostly filled with freshmen and sophomores. It comes down to me and maybe three people who actually read the assignments always raising our hands to answer questions (as opposed to abject silence) that seem ridiculously easy to me.

Anyway, there’s this one other girl who is frightening. Some people are just scary, you know? She comes in every morning, at 8:30 AM! in full makeup. We’re talking Tammy Fay makeup. She’s not an unattractive girl, but she wears so much makeup that I am truly frightened when I enter the harsh flourescent lights of the classroom and see her face. Plus she always shows up completely dressed to the nines. She always has some totally matched, perfect outfit on with heels and color appropriate jewely. For instance, if she is wearing a pink tube top (yes, you read that correctly) and black fitted pants, she will have black strappy stilettos on. Her hair, always in that half-up, half-down style, will have a perfectly corresponding pink ribbon and her toenails will also be the exact shade of pink. Her lipstick will be that shade of pink. She will have a knapsack (like an LL Bean one) in black, a black one shoulder-strap bookbag, and a pink and black purse. Sometimes she will also have some sort of plastic grocery bag filled with who knows what.

She always raises her hand. She always has some ridiculously redundant or pointless comment that adds nothing to the (already nonexistent) discussion. She makes the most obvious, dumb comments that I want to cry. Why, you ask? Because what would be a quick 30-second comment for anyone else is a ten-minute ordeal. She coughs. She clears her throat. She hems and haws and collects her thoughts (I use that word with caution). She gesticulates wildly with her hands the whole time. Then she begins the speech, still gesticulating with abandon, which everyone paying attention (alright, ME) has memorized by now. “I ummmmmm wanted to ahem ahem comment on the fact that ahem ahem ummm it seems to me that in theory, the best answer to that questions would be ummm ahem excuse me something along the lines of blah ahem blah ummm blah.” It is excruciating. It drives me MAD. I clench my fists in rage. I squeeze my eyes shut so tight it hurts. Ten minutes after her little coughing spree speech, she finally winds down and the teacher speaks exceptionally loudly (I kid you not!) so that people will resurface to consciousness.

That’s not all, of course. She has a very high-pitched, almost squeaky voice with peculiar intonations. For instance: “I ummmm WAAAANTed to ahem ahem KAAAAHmenT aaaahhnnn the FAAAACT that ahem ahem it SEEEEeeemmmssss to ME…” Gah!

She always does this at least three times a class.

It’s enough to make me get back under the covers sometimes and roll around for my 10:00 class. Sometimes I just can’t handle the thought of her speaking, and I go back to bed.

The convenience store around the corner carries the somewhat unusual brand of cigarettes I smoke. I always buy them there, so they’ll stay in rotation and I don’t have to go somewhere else and get the one ancient pack that’s been sitting on the shelf since the TVA electrified West Tennessee (1934 or '36, as I recall).

But now I can’t go in there at night, because of THE NIGHT GUY, S. S spends the entire night alone, and I, being a friendly type, started talking to him one night. Now I’ve become his buddy. I go in there, and I cannot escape until another customer comes in and diverts S’s attention long enough for me to escape. S sees me come in, takes a big in-breath, and starts shooting, and doesn’t pause once he starts in. I once had to sit with a fake smile on my face for 45 minutes–no exaggeration–listening to him tell me about his recent cybersex adventure. He just got Internet-connected and is always asking me for instruction, as he knows I work for a Web site.

And the other annoying person in my life is worse, for several reasons. The main reason is that with a little foresight I can avoid S; I just try not to go in at night. But the other one, R, I work with. We don’t even have the privacy of cubicles in our office: we just have desks in a room, with four of us. We all stay pretty quiet and well-behaved, except for R. He complains about everything. He has NO taste at all. (Are you familiar with the “classical” music of this band called Bond? I am.) He thinks Disney is the end-all be-all of modern culture. He plays techno dance music at his desk so loud that the people across the hall from us can hear it, and they shut their doors. He doesn’t understand that being witty is not the same as saying the first negative thing that enters one’s mind about any subject ever raised.

And what’s worse is he’s gay and hypersensitive about discrimination and such, so I can’t call him an asshole without being called homophobic. Even though he’s an asshole.

As luck would have it, we have unusual scheduling, so I only spend one day working with him every week. This is about right; at the end of the day I feel both saintly for having put up with his odious presence, AND happy that I won’t have to cope with him for more than a half-hour until next week.

Whew! Thanks for starting this thread; I sure as heck needed to say that.

By the way, nacho4sara, I’ve had classes with students like that, and please believe me when I say it’s just as bad, if not worse, when you’re the teacher. You stand there, knowing that it’s your job to be patient and helpful with this person, and so you have to watch passively as he/she undoes all the work you’ve done to get students interested in Hamlet or whatever it is. And because it’s your job, and because this person has the same right as everyone else to ask questions, you have to stand there and pay attention to what they are saying. It can be excruciating.

I feel your pain.

There are four standouts in my life:

  1. The first was a co-worker at a temp job (thank god) who was so irritating that I suppressed most of the details, but I remember she had a shrill voice, broke in it bad times to make “jokes” that only she laughed at, and wore a ton of awful makeup. Then I found out she had a kid, and I wanted to destroy the whole world.

  2. Biggest, dumbest lunkhead ever in my Chinese class. My CHINESE class. Get your goddam language requirement in Spanish, you lunk. Always interrupting with trivial and truly moronic comments, usually having no relevence to anything. “There were Chinese mercenaries in Vietnam.” Whenever he would open his mouth, a good chunk of the class would cringe in disbelief. Also spoke the worst Chinese I’ve ever heard. I discovered a friend had been in a class with him before; I found this out because his ranting mirrored my rage exactly. Oh, and he was a football player and Marine, typical lunkhead.

  3. Another Chinese class guy, this one IN CHINA! And embarrassment to our country. No class or manners whatsoever, loud, stupid, drunk, with a stereotypical “hippie” voice that carried into his (second worst ever) Chinese. My plans while in China usually revolved around being where he was not.

  4. Laffin’ Lady. A co-worker who laughed after approximately every second or third sentence to come out of her mouth, regardless of what it was. “Takin’ a break? HAHAHAHA!” “Moving some books? BWAARHAARHAAR!”

I have a feeling number five might be coming… Seemingly knee-jerk right-wing guy in my Terrorism class who- a recurring theme- contributes completely worthless and poorly thought-out comments. And no offense intended to any of you in the military, but I was not AT ALL shocked to find out he’s in the armed forces. I can’t believe the people we arm to protect our interests.

I work in a cube-farm so the varieties of annoying people are endless, but here are a few that stick out to me now:

Fingernail-Clipping Guy
Here here to the other mentions of this. I work on the same side of our floor as the sales team and there are at least 3 guys who do this on a routine basis every week. As soon as I start hearing that noise my blood pressure rises almost immediately. GROSS!

Clears Phlegm Out Of Throat
Anyone who happens to be coming down with or getting some kind of ailment that makes them cough and clear their throat all… day… long.

Laughs on the Phone All Day
This person engages in personal calls all day long and giggles and laughs loudly enough for the whole dept to hear. NOTHING can be that funny all… day… long…

Person Who Leaves Cell Phone at their Desk while they Go Away to a 2-Hour Meeting
This person is new to the whole technology revolution and forgets his phone every time he goes into a meeting. Not only does the phone ring for two hours, but he’s got that ring-back feature when someone leaves a voice mail so it keeps ringing endlessly. We left an anonymous note to him and shortly thereafter saw him talking with MIS trying to figure out how to turn off the ring-back feature.

Talks Too Long Without Making a Point
This guy is in my dept. and is generaly a very friendly and nice person. However you don’t DARE get caught in anything other than a quick passing “hello” to him, otherwise you get to stand there while he slowly and pointlessly recounts a story about his knee surgery in high school and his brother’s friend’s cousin on the wrestling team and his dad’s colleague in Ohio… you get the picture.

Guy Who Microwaves Stinky Food in the Kitchen
This guy microwaves canned tuna fish in our company microwave… the smell lingers until quitting time and makes everything you eat (if you’re unfortunate enough to cook your food after him) taste like cat food.

Smelly Guy here at work. I mean this guy doesn’t own a bath! He smells so bad that you can tell when he walked in front of you in the passageway 10 or 15 minutes earlier!

sigh only in Europe!

Large female in our office who wears (among many other strikingly inappropriate outfits) cowboy boots which are too large for her, apparently, because she is unable to walk without clumping. We work in a portable building so the floor is somewhat hollow at best but when she gets to crankin’ around the place in them boots – yee haw. I keep having to resist the urge to make horsie noises when she passes by. (resisting so far…)

In our office we’ve got Typhoid Larry, who has either kennel cough or tuberculosis. There he goes again. Sometimes he tries to suppress it…that’s much worse, because it lasts much longer. Aaaaaaghgghghgg…aaaaaarghrghrghrghg…ARGHRHGRGHRGHRRGGHGHG. ARGHRhrgHRHGHGRGHRG.


That kind of coughing can be caused by Cystic Fibrosis. While I’m sure it can be annoying for co-workers to have to listen to the constant coughing, it is much worse for the person who actually suffers from this disease as the coughing can be so severe as to cause pulled muscles.

I’m so sorry for all you people that have to listen to people like me who cough, sniffle, and clear our throats all day. I take what allergy medicine is prescribed for me, but it only halfway works. The only stuff I’ve tried that really works lmakes me so drowsy I can’t do my job. What am I supposed to do, quit? I don’t think I can get SSI, and I don’t intend to become homeless just because you are annoyed by my condition.

Oh, Christ. Constant loud, hacking coughing is annoying to me. Do I go over and say, “Shut the hell up?” No. Do I say, “If you’re so sick you need to go home?” No. It’s none of my business. Does any of this make it less annoying? No.

tevya, I’m pretty sure that’s not the case with Larry. Mainly because he’s passed that same cough on to other people in his department. Could be coincidence, but I don’t believe it is.