It really irks me when people use “if you will” after EVERYTHING they say. Same with “at this juncture”. Blahhh!
I have one: irks.
That’s my social studies teacher! His two favourite phrases are ‘suspend your disbelief’ and ‘if you will’. As is obvious, the class laughs pretty hard everytime he combines the two.
At this juncture, I have no “irks,” if you will.
::ducking and running::
People who insist upon using periods instead of dashes (or parentheses) in phone numbers - as in 525.521.1212. Supposed to look european or some damn thing, I guess.
I ascertain that…
Any Kids In The Hall Fans here? No? Okay, I’ll leave quietly.
If you will, people who use “wherefore” to mean “where” really irk me, at this juncture.
“If memory serves” and
“Do you hear what I’m sayin’?” the latter being pretentious for the terminally stupid.
People who speak about themselves in the third person.
“Inanna wants another drink”
People who say ad-VER-tis-ment.
Not sure of the spelling, but phoenetically it sounds like: APPROPO. (to mean appropriate)
Aack! scottws I do exactly that in my phone #'s, but just because I like the way it looks, not because I’m trying to be pretentious. I also used to say the word “plethora” a lot, because I liked the way it feels when you say it, but then people told me I sounded snotty so I quit using it.
I’m sure if you ask Mr. Sunshine he would say that I’m pretentious as hell…but I just like to use my vocabulary…not to impress people but because I think other words are overused and why not use something different if can?
car-RIB-ee-un
HAIR-us (for harrass)
YOOR-unus (Uranus)
And lately the Hyper-Spanish pronunciations of Hispanic surnames by TV news people. Drives me nuts.
GRRRRRRRRRRR:mad:
It bothers me when people say schedule as sh-edule. I guess any alternate pronunciations kind of make me cringe. More so if I hear them from people I know grew up using the same dialect I did.
Aaarrrrrgggggggghhhhhh
Double aaarrrrrgggggggghhhhhh
I don’t put periods in my phone numbers, but I do cross my numeral sevens.
It makes me feel so DELICIOUSLY Continental.
(ducks and runs)
People who slip in little snippets of French or Latin into a post to make them sound a little, I dunno, plus intelligents annoy me. Ah well, C’est la vie.
<<Aack! scottws I do exactly that in my phone #'s, but just because I like the way it looks, not because I’m trying to be pretentious.>>
Sorry!
However, I don’t think being pretentious is the result of trying to be pretentious. Someone who says “be that as it may” or says “SHED-ule” just likes the way they sound.
Deconstruct
Paradigm
Hegemony
post-Lacanic
Okay, I guess these words are appropriate occasionally, but as a grad student, I encounter them waaaay too often.
“Basically”
Basically, I had an econ teacher in college who would, basically, pre and post fix each sentence with the word “basically”. I got bored during class and, basically, counted the number of times he said it. I, basically, got 52…in an hour. Basically.
To me it sounds terribly unedu-ma-cated. 
How about movie fans and reviewers who refer to “Hollywood” as if it was a single person, as in “It’s obvious why Hollywood liked the script.” It always reminds me of a 12 year old trying to sound sophisticated.
Abbreviations or acronyms: FYI, ASAP, SOP, that sort of thing.
“Le-zhure” for “leisure”.
“Shed-ule” for “schedule”.
I guess any British pronounciation or spelling when the person in question is quite American smacks of pretentiousness to me.
I feel for you Sunshine. I’ve been accused of pedantry myself. I don’t think it’s pedantic to use two-bit words when the word means exactly what you’re trying to say. That’s what they’re for, yeah?
Something M.D.'s use to sound smart: instead of centimeters they measure in saantimeters (rhymes with Immanuel Kantimeters).
Makes me loco!!