Just for fun: If you find yourself being all smart and confusing sounding, it’s fun to thow in naughty big words, and see if people notice.
Example: “…so at this jucture, the opening of the new defibulator will surely provide an entire labia of energy saving possibilites.”
I hate it when people try to not end clauses with a preposition, but aren’t really bright enough to pull it off. I’ve often heard things like “The gun with which you killed Mr. James with was illegally obtained.” Not to mention military privates who try to use big technical words, parodied so well on the Simpsons:
<EXAMPLE>
Military Guy: At this point in time, I would like to direct your attention to the particular air vehicle next to which I am currently standing. The Harrier Jet is one of our more dollar-intensive ordnance delivery vectors.</EXAMPLE>
Marge: Five tires!? Am I seeing things?
Military Guy: And, although it looks complicated it is so well-designed, even a child could fly it.
Lisa: Can I fly it?
Military Guy: Of course you can not.
Also, people using “yourself/myself/himself/etc.” and “whom” at incorrect times sound pretentiously idiotic.
All my friends hate it when I say dr-AW-ma instead of dr-A-ma. They this I sound gay, but that’s just the high school crowd, I guess.
Good morning fellas; Hand me that thing; Boy, this work’s hard; Guys, break’s over.
I’m glad we could dilineate our problem.
~shuffles away quietly~
People who continually try to find a good segue in order to use the word segue get on my nerves, so to speak.
“Proactive and paradeim . . . aren’t these just words that dumb people use to make themselves look smart? . . . I’m fired, aren’t I?”
— * The Simpsons *
Tamerlane definitely uses a few of the above, from time to time. “irk”, “be that as it may”, and “so to speak” among them. Especially when Tamerlane is being expository. But it is never a deliberate attempt to be snooty ( of course Tamerlane would say that ). Just the way Tamerlane learned to write. And sometimes it is just the easily amused Tamerlane amusing himself 
.
Try not to hate me 
.
it makes me crazy when people say negotiations like this:
nego SEE a shuns
makes me nuts
No particular word other than saying “coupon” [q-pon]. Kills me.
I also dislike improper conjugations, but they’er so darn convenient!
I like the word " Irk". It’s short and to the point.
Like Ike, I too cross my sevens. I have done this since elementary school and have no logical explanation of why I started.
Ones that just drives me up the wall:
" I am mis-remembering…" What? Try, " I cannot remember squat."
" Don’t you disrespect me." *AIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH x 100 *
Try: " You better show me some respect, boy, or I’m gunna clean your clock." Much better.
Ladies and Gentleman, may I direct your attention to one of the most annoying sayings/statments of the last ten years:
“Hello. You’ve reached the desk of Joe Schmoe. I’m either on the phone or away from my desk. Blah blah blah.”
C’mon people, leave a more original message than *that *. It shows you have the personality of a lawn ornament.Whenever I get that message I usually counter with,
“Gee, Joe, really used up some braincells to come up with that message, huh?”
People who pronounce “homage” as oh-MAHJ.
Please read the following aloud: The issue is tissue.
Did you say "The iss-you is tiss-you ". Yes? Then I will dis you.
My sixth-grade English teacher hacked me off when she said “HAIR-us-ment” for “harassment” (the news anchors still do), and also when she pronounced “tangy” as “tanj-y”.
Also, when people, like, can’t go without, like, saying “like.” It’s for use in similes, people!! Y’know?
–Moon Unit…erm… Quadzilla
Admit it, Shirl…it makes you feel so DELICIOUSLY Continental, does it not?
{laughs richly} Haw haw haw haw haw haw HAW HAW HAW.
{adjusts monocle and sips Campari, smirking}
I see no reason at all to EVER use the word(s?) “per se”.
I find use of the word “pedantic” to be very… well… :rolleyes:
I use pretentious sayings all the time, but only in sarcasm. A few years ago some friends of mine and I even made up a pretentious word that we’d use in casual conversation:
Neveronceagaininsomuchas
Ones that really do irk me, usually because they’re a waste of words:
“At this point in time”
“The fact of the matter is”
“The fact that”
“Whereas”
And these are just dumb:
“ATM machine”
actually calling it the “World Wide Web”
ANYTHING in the passive voice, unless it serves some literary purpose. In explanatory writing, the active is always better.
i do not like the word “peoples”
It drives me crazy the way I heaar people misuse “floccinaucinihilipihilification”. God, if I could just go one day without hearing some moron try to use it incorrectly.
How does this excrement get any traction? If the feces encrusted drooling acephalics do not know a word, they either claim it does not exist or accuse you of being pompous. The ubiquitous anti-intellectual vein in “American culture” is constitutive of a trenchant and corrosive velleity toward cerebration. Like, you know? Hella wicked agro.
Harrass can be pronounced either way according to the OED.
Irk is a perfectly good word. What’s the haps with you? Irkfest, irkf#ck–it is a great prefix.
Now, your homework for the weekend. I want everybody to use
sui generis
ergo
ipso facto
homonculus
in a sentence.
Y’all need more fibre. Chortle.
MADD for Bush!!