The holidays are tough for some people. Some of us try to end it all.
That’s right. Time to break out the wobbly ladders, set them up on slick, wet/icy and uneven surfaces, climb right up them without any helpers or spotters. Make sure you have a string of lights in one hand, a mouth-full of nails and a hammer in the other hand. Get up on that roof! Hang over the side in the dark searching for that nail you put there last year.
Its Christmas Decoration Time!
Coulda done it last week. Sixty-five and sunny. Then it rained for three day and now its Forty-two. That wet ground makes for great ladder climbin’! Help? Fuuuuuuuuk No! Not only does the family not want to help, they don’t give a shit once the lights are up! But Goddammit, don’t put them up and be prepared for a world of shit! Now I’m scrambling around on a sinking ladder with a live extension cord looking for the end of a 12-string run of indoor lights out in the snow to drive a nail into a soft piece of particleboard.
Wife brought home some wicker reindeer with imbedded lights and wanted them out in the yard. After running 200 yards of extension cord out there, I plugged him in and sparks shot out its ass and it burst into flame! The “Santa Train” thing out there blows over so often, I ended up weighing it down with old tires on the backside. Place looks like a goddamn junkyard in the daylight, but Man Oh Man! Is it pretty at night!
I am so glad this is about holiday decorations and not suicidal people offing themselves around holidays. Speaking of, I need to get back on my meds.
I have a string of small metal lanterns with star cutouts that are permanently strung from a beam in the living room. I suppose I should run an extension cord and plug them in. The biggest hazard would be tripping over a cat.
I’m going all out this year. I put a small bottlebrush tree and an equally small Santa figurine next to my quarter-scale (1:48") dollhouse. Decorating just exhausts me.:rolleyes:
I aim high. This year I intend to decorate. Something. Last year we had just moved in and, well, we kinda missed. Parenting fail. I will at least get the stockings up this year!
I’m thinking of nailing a 3-foot 4 x 4 to a little platform, wrap a string of lights around it and stick an ornament on top. I could whack my thumb while nailing, I suppose.
Gatopescado, your story made me laugh. Stay safe out there!
We never put up lights outside, even when I was a kid. Mom always had “candles” in the windows - still does. I did that a few times. One year, we had a porch swing hanging from a roofed stand, and we ran lights on that, but it looked pretty horrible, so it never happened again. Generally, apart from the “candles”, we’d put the tree near a window and that would be it. Now we don’t even bother with that, which is another tale for another day…
I’m so out of it, last weekend, I saw my neighbor up on his roof and I was concerned - their roof was newer than ours (which is barely 5 years old) and I hated to think that they were getting leaks or something. Naturally, after dark when I saw his eaves lit up, I knew what he’d been doing. And that got me thinking - why, exactly, do we consider it festive to outline our houses or roofs with colored lights? Or cover every inch of everything outside with lights… I’m just thankful none of our nearest neighbors are given to seasonal excess. Some people don’t know when enough is enough.
Not to bum out a fun thread but – funny you should mention that. Last time we decorated outside was the year my BIL took his life on Dec 13 ---- which was also the wife’s birthday. After going through all that and having to take down the lights and stuff we just never found the will to do it again. We still do a tree and decorate inside but not as heavily as we once did. We love seeing the displays so please all you Dopers — burn those kilowatt hours! We just enjoy it more from the sidelines.
This is the first year my family will be having Christmas at my house, and I have been informed that I will have a tree*, whether I like it or not. I draw the line at anything that involves climbing ladders or clambering around on the roof, however.
*I think they’re planning on a steampunk-themed tree. I will count myself fortunate if it doesn’t explode.
I decided last year to buy lights after Christmas for 70% off. I got a long strand of rainbow mini globes and 4 short strands of rainbow large globes.
The tree I wanted to decorate with the short strands died over the winter! I needed to cut it down over the summer but I left it for decorating.
Before thanksgiving we had a very nice day so I went out in my tee shirt and started the gutter. It took me forever to figure out the best way to get myself and the lights up there (where to put the ladder, how to hold the strand, where to set the clips) but once I started I was in the groove.
The Friday after thanksgiving it wasn’t too bad out so I put the short strands on my dead tree. That wasn’t as hard to figure out how to pull off as the gutter. It looks good!
My little 3’ tree sits in the window and that adds to the total lighting. The whole thing looks good!
I was pissed that my neighbors were outside both days I did lights. I didn’t want to be embarrassed looking silly on a ladder with them watching. But I was secretly glad to have … Witnesses.
Oh also I was pleased to see that my decorations match the neighbors! They have rainbow globes on their gutters too.
Now that I’ve got myself set up i am excited to check out this years sales. I want to buy some nets for my bushes.
Seems like there’s fewer houses decorated this year in the neighborhood. I remember last year I was one of the few on the street not done up. I hope everyone adds more this weekend - a full neighborhood would be neat!
The thing I hate the most is putting up the lights. Ans the thing I hate most about that is the fact that I’ll need to buy all new lights before I can put them up. Because I can’t seem to get two seasons out of a string of Christmas lights. Am I doing something wrong?
This year, I suffered a minor ant attack as I stuck a Xmas light support thingie into the ground (I was laying on my side on a tarp); it was just the tiny ones, not fire ants, thank Frith.
When I worked at a big box home improvement store I hated this time of year. We would see a number of people looking for a plug that had two male ends on it because they hung their lights wrong. After explaining the danger of such a product most customers said they would find one on the internet. One customer asked for advice on making one himself. I refused to help, explaining that I would not help him commit suicide. His response was definitely not in the Christmas spirit.
Here’s something very strange as well: I was up on the roof putting up the lights and found an almost perfectly round hole, about the size of a tennis ball. Looking into it (its right on the edge of the roof, so it goes into the part of the roof that overhangs the sides. What is that, the “soffit”?), its clear that whatever made it came from above, broke through and put a big dent in the panel below. Put a little gash in the truss as well.
I’m fully convinced my house was hit by a meteorite! I recall some time ago*, I heard a “BANG”, then a sound like something rolling down the roof. It was pretty windy as always, so I dismissed it as not too important. I’ll bet something hit the roof, made the hole then rolled down inside the soffit to the corner of the house.
After Christmas, I’m gonna open up the bottom end of the soffit and claim my prize! Wish I had one of those butt-cameras so I don’t have to tear up the house.
Can you get famous for getting nailed by a meteorite?
Edit: It was during that last meteor shower, in the middle of the night!
Eh, I put the lights on the house a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the spacing quite correct and they stop about a foot shy of the edge of the garage. Close enough. Tomorrow we’ll put out the little lighted trees by the doors and I think I’m going to try and put lights on the Japanese lilac tree out front. I wish I could afford to hire a decorating company to come out and put lights on the 50’ evergreen tree - that would look awesome.
Stay safe out there!
