Another "career choice" thread

I have applied for a couple of different jobs with my current employer. Both are promotions in terms of title, but pay and bens are identical. The main draw of either position is that I would not have to do a major component of my present job which I find extremely unpleasant.

Although I really don’t get any pleasure from my present job, it is - um - convenient. A 6 minute commute, pretty flexible schedule, very good pay.

One of these 2 jobs would require commuting into the city - a 15 minute car ride then a 45 minute train. The other would involve relocating 1000 miles away, to a city I like and where one of my kids lives. But I currently live 10 minutes from another of my kids and my only grandchild (age 3.5).

I think I’d be pretty good at either of these jobs. I don’t think either would be incredibly fulfilling experiences, but either would be an improvement over my current job.

I figure I have about 7 years until retirement at age 65.

So whattya think? (Of course, it is likely that I won’t be offered either position - just trying to get my head straight.)

A 6 minute commute is worth at least $10K a year. I’d be hard-pressed to give that up. (1 1/2 hours each way for me everyday)

Oh yeah - and I work at home 2 days a week, so I don’t even have to slog thru that onerous commute every day! :wink:

The main thing is, I suspect this major aspect of my job that I really dislike is affecting my overall personality - making me even MORE of a jerk towards friends, family, strangers than I might otherwise be (if you can believe THAT possible.) :smiley: Spending days trying to pry information out of dishonest, uncooperative, unintelligent people, seems to have undesirable effects on my social interaction outside of work.

Also, my job is essentially a well paid cushy line production job - moving peoples’ cases rather than widgets. The backlog, and the pressure to move evermore cases are neverending. If I stay here, I have to figure out how to get my head around doing that for 7 more years.

I suppose it comes down to how much the unpleasant aspects of your current job compare to having an hour-long commute or being away from your kid and grandkid.

I’ll say this as someone with a 25-30 minute light rail ride every morning; it’s surprisingly pleasant. It’s nothing like driving in traffic for 25-30 minutes- I basically kick back and read on my phone using the Kindle app. For me, it’s basically a free hour a day that I get to read without being pestered by my children or wife.

Yeah, I did the commute into the city thing for 25 years. It is not entirely unpleasant. I would read the paper - or books. But boy - I really do currently feel myself rich in terms of TIME. I head into work after I see my neighbors leave for their jobs, and am back home for some time before I see them come home. I can use that time however I wish - mainly readiing or making music - gardening in warmer weather (tho I DO tend to watch too much TV as the evening progresses.)

I’ve lived and worked in the same geographic area just about all of my life. The idea of moving to a distant state has considerable allure. Just wonder if it would “recharge” my wife and me. OTOH, I LOVE being near my dtr and grandchild. See them at least 1x/week. Really hard to try to weigh that, and anticipate what we could do in terms of visits, Skype, etc. And, worst case, if we wanted, we could move back in 7 years.

Both of these jobs would be more challenging that my current job. Would likely involve longer hours than my current predictable 8.5 hrs per day. Both would also involve some travel, which has positive and negative aspects.

I guess a large part of me is thinking I really ought to try SOMETHING different. Even tho the rut I am in in extremely comfortable in some respects, it is a rut nevertheless. As I look forward to what I’m going to do in my retirement, I’m not sure I like the idea of who I will be after 7 more years of doing this same stuff I’ve been doing the past 8.

Commuting is terrible especially when you’re not used to it. I used to have a 2 hour commute one way and what ever it was just what I did but now I look back at even the times I had a one hour commute and shudder it sucks away so much of your day. I would bill commute time as work time and then subtract that from the pay from the position to get an idea if you’re really getting a raise.

Moving 1000 miles isn’t a big deal especially if the company pays for it. You may not even see you grand kid less depending on how you do it now. With my in laws when we were living 1000 miles away they saw the kid for a week at a time 4 weeks per year and those weeks were very focused on her so she spend 20 days per years being the focus of her grandparents. Now they live about 200 miles away and she seems them for a weekend every other month and a week at Christmas so probably 30 days per year but they are also doing other things and I would guess she gets half as much attention so over all it’s a drop of 5 days per year for her.

I think it must be safer to strike out for pastures new when you’re older, paradoxically. Younger you have more time on your side if a move to a new job doesn’t work out, but it can really set you back if you make the wrong decision. Late 50s you’re far more likely to be financially stable, networked, established in your career etc so if it doesn’t work out you can take it in your stride.

The only thing is you’re describing, in very brief overview, a life of someone who has not sought out much in the way of change - (apologies if that is a mischaracterisation). I mean maybe day to day your job is really exciting and varied, but the overall structures of your life sound quite consistent. So I wouldn’t underestimate the impact of just upping sticks for a new house and job 1000 miles away in your late 50s. Could be a bit of a meteor strike.

If you do stay with what you’re doing, maybe embrace the fur-lined rut a bit more in terms of the great opportunity it is for having a rich life outside of work. We all could prob benefit from putting more energy in this direction.

No apologies needed - you are spot on. I’ve worked for the same employer for 95% of my working career. The jobs were secure, paid enough to support my growing family, and allowed my wife to go to work part-time as our kids were born. Predictable hours and generous leave allowed me to have meals and experiences w/ my wife and kids. But I’ve derived ZERO satisfaction from any aspect of my jobs (other than some fleeting challenge/satisfaction the first couple of times I did some task I would subsequently repeat thousands of times.).

I’ve often regretted that I’ve never lives anywhere other than my same general area - school and my furthest job were w/in 150 miles of my birthplace. My region impresses me as pretty good, but I simply lack experience living elsewhere.

I do have the flexibility in terms of no debt - a paid for house, kids all out of the house and in longterm relationships/careers. Have some very good friends (golf and music) and one sister I really like and regularly ride bikes with nearby, but I’m sure I’d meet golfers and musicians in the new city. And yes, generous relocation expenses.

Even with my longtime interests of golf and music, I feel a tad “ruttish” - always golf with the same guys on the same course, mostly make music with the same folk. I could imagine it being refreshing to golf on new courses w/ new people, and make music with new people. The MAIN things I would miss personally are my dtr/grandtr, and my sister. But, as I said, I have a married son in the other city - as well as some other relations.

Of course, moving, is a pain in the ass…

I guess I’ve focused on making my life as easy and predictable as possible. And I’ve succeeded pretty spectacularly. I realize I’m very fortunate. Just wondering, when these opportunities arose, whether I’d like to shake things up at this stage in my life. Absolutely worst case scenario, in 7 yrs I could retire to my current area - or anywhere else I wished.

IMHO a job that you are good at that compensates you well enough and provides benefits and perks like telecommuting and is convenient, and, and, and… is just a job. At this stage of the game do you really want to upset the apple cart? Sounds like there are a number of things outside work that you find more fulfilling and changing the job will impact those in some way.

Can you find a way to just continue to do your job well, even if unfulfilling, and then clock-out at the end of the day/week and focus on the other aspects of your life that are fulfilling? Maybe be de-emphasizing the work and job situation and elevating in importance to you the things that you prefer to spend your energy on? Do what you are good at and spend your free time and money on your passions.

Yeah, maybe that would be fodder for another thread. And that’s what I try to do. Just not sure how successful I am - or will be able to do in the long run.

Without going into the specifics, imagine you worked at a complaints counter. All day long, unhappy people came to you. Many of them flat out lied to you, or were rude or uncooperative. Meanwhile, you were applying your employer’s policies which you didn’t really respect.

There is no way to get ahead - no matter how many customers you deal with one day, there will be just as many tomorrow.

I’m just finding it harder and harder to leave that behind at the end of the day. I find myself snapping at friends when they do things that I wouldn’t normally notice, if they do something that reminds me of some uncooperative “customer” I recently had. And the job requires some considerable mental commitment, so after a day, my brain feels fried.

The idea of doing that for 7 more years just seems somewhat daunting.

And yeah - I know I’ve got it good and oughtn’t complain. :o The checks keep coming and they never bounce.

Yeah, I hear what you are saying. I am sorta in the same boat, but have a longer time before retirement. How much longer is your “long run”? I would advise someone who is just starting in their work life/career to put some value in the fulfillment part of the job, but for us who have been around the track a few more times than they, maintaining a comfortable and predictable existence takes on more a priority than job fulfillment. If you are taking the work home with you in some manner, there are methods to explore that may allow you to leave the job at the office a little better at the end of the day.

My job is also unfulfilling, and I see younger people rising up the ranks and making a name for themselves with energy that I used to have on display. Now I don’t care to climb the ladder any more, as that would likely impede my free time. The job is not my passion in life, but a means to an end. I am looking forward to travel using some of my resources (and health) while I am still earning a paycheck, and think more about that, as an example, than the day-to-day drudgery at work. My situation may be different than yours in a lot of ways - I can leave work on Friday and really disengage over the weekend - to the point I need to leave notes to myself to remind me what to work on the following Monday and week. I don’t think much about work on my free time at this point, and wish to keep it that way.

What’s the weather like in the 1000-mile-away location? What’s the city like? Have you visited there yet?

Sorry if I was being overly coy. Likely attributable to job application paranoia. Chicago to Denver so - yeah - better weather AND scenery.

I’ve decided I’d like to pursue either opportunity. However, these are kinda “big” jobs. My experience is that, in such cases, TPTB have a pretty good idea of who they want to promote before the opening is posted. But who knows? As frequently as they seem to screw up, maybe they’ll screw THIS one up in my favor! :smiley:

Pretty much limited timeline for either. Don’t see myself working any fulltime job more than 7 years from now. So then - assuming I’ve kept some measure of my health and sanity - I can stick around the Chicago area or move in relative comfort anywhere I wish.

Only way I’ve been able to figure to “leave my job at the office more” is to care even less, lower my standards even more, and do an even crappier job. I guess it says SOMETHING about me that I find that easier to say than to do. :rolleyes:

Have you considered taking a sabbatical?

Of the two, I would prefer the one 1000 miles away. I do NOT like long commutes.

What does your wife think? Has she gone back to fulltime practice when the kids flew the coop, so has a job she might (or might not) want to leave?

I’m 57. I’m a data analyst, and good at my job. I work from home 4 days a week. Still, it’s just a job. I’d leave with a lottery win tomorrow. My farm is paid off, I’m actively saving for a retirement that should be good, but I would have to be paid a lot more to move farm animals and house for what few years I have left to work. I’d stay put. But I’m a stick in the mud and pretty happy that way.

StG

I read the OP as the unpleasant aspect of your current job is (say) a few hours a month of unpleasantness, with most of the job being OK. But later posts seem to imply unpleasantness is a regular feature of most working days. This could potentially tip the balance - the former is (IMO) much easier to live with than the latter.

That notwithstanding, here are a couple of points that I don’t think have been addressed yet. Firstly, of course you can move back in 7 years, but don’t forget that by then, your granddaughter will be 11 and quite possibly less interested in spending a lot of time with you than she is now (not necessarily, of course). You don’t get those years back. Secondly, if you don’t get/take one of these opportunities now, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck where you are for 7 years. Who knows what next year will bring? Thirdly, spicing up your social life/circle by moving seems like a red herring to me. Why restrict yourself to playing golf with the same buddies each week? Or at least, at the same course. Looks to me like you need to ‘go on tour’ - i.e. once a year (or more) organise a road trip to another area for a long weekend, and check out the courses there. Either by yourself or with your existing golf buddies.

All things considered, if I were you I think I would stay put, at least for now. I agree with those saying a short commute is worth a lot. And I’m pretty good at leaving work at work. Like you though, I’m pretty easily pleased with life, not especially ambitious, so this thread may be becoming a bit of an echo chamber.

Thanks all.

StG - wife is very flexible. She teaches a couple of BusLaw courses, and has no desire to do more. Handles all of our money, the household, etc. Very hard for a person in late 50s to find a rewarding, well-paying job. What she would gain would not offset our current flexibility.

DCI think part of what I/we are thinking is that we seem to have difficulty self-motivating to make significant changes if so much else in our lives remains unchanged. Yes, our dtr/granddtr are VERY important to us, but they have their own lives to live. Not sure we want our participation in THEIR lives to dictate so much of other aspects of our lives. Does that make sense? There is the possibility of travel/skype/etc to keep in touch. And we do have another kid - newly wed - in Denver.

Like I said, neither of us has lived outside of IL for any extended period (other than a brief stint in NW IN.) We wonder how we would respond to a significant change in location. And I sorta fear going to my grave never having even TRIED living somewhere else.

The part of my job I hate takes up the entirety of 2 days a week. The other 3 days are preparing for and following up on those 2 days.

And in my job, I DO know that these sorts of openings don’t happen often. The combinations of the jobs + the locations is the only reason I’m considering them.

We do try different things. Just yesterday we went to a new garden club. Gave serious thought to joining, but concluded it was likely to end up being an “obligation” we rued, rather than something that enhanced our lives.

OK, since you didn’t like my advice, here’s some completely different advice :).

Don’t worry, I’m (mostly) kidding - I don’t feel you were brushing me off and I’m certainly not offended. But, it kind of seems like you’re looking for reasons to make the move and ways to dismiss the reasons to stay put. Which is fine - perhaps that tells you which way your heart is telling you to go?

As a father of 2 young kids who are lucky to have four grandparents who love being involved, but also keep a respectful distance, I totally get what you say about your kids and grandkids, looks like you have the right mindset, good for you. No, your lives should not be defined by theirs, of course. Obvious point is obvious, but don’t mention to any of your kids about their proximity to the old/new locations and how this factors into your decision. But it might be worth mentioning to the daughter who is nearby how a possible opportunity has come up that happens to be near your son, and see how she reacts. Maybe she relies on you more than you realise? Even the most well-adjusted and supported kid might feel a little abandoned, even when they have a little family of their own.

All that said, I think both sides of the location thing are not the main factor. It seems to me the fear of being in a job you don’t really enjoy for the next 7 years is much more important. And that is totally understandable - it’s the biggest single activity occupying your waking hours, after all. As you have already said, you can always try living in another part of the country when you retire, many people do. So I would cross that off my pros and cons list if I were you. My biggest concern now is your statement in the OP that neither new job would necessarily be terribly fulfilling, just an improvement over your current one. This indicates to me that if you change roles, after 6-12 months you might well find there are aspects to the new job that, while perhaps not as bad as what you moved from, are becoming rather tiresome. In other words, are the new jobs enough of an improvement to justify the upheaval (like you say, moving sucks, I hate it)? You don’t know, of course. But I have a feeling the job opportunity far away is an excuse to move to a new state, when really it should be the other way round. In other words, if the question was “I have a great new job opportunity but I’m worried about moving to another state, should I go for it?” the answer would almost certainly be “yes”, but here it’s “I’d really like to try living in another state and I’ve found a job that would probably justify that”, in which case the answer might be to just wait until retirement and do it then.

If all else fails, you could always try the old trick of designating one option “heads” and the other option “tails”, then flipping a coin - your satisfaction (or lack of) with the result then telling you how you really feel.

Thanks. Everyone’s input has helped me frame my thoughts. If nothing else (as I often say) - might as well get yourself into position where you can say “No thanks!”

Sent in some supplemental info and am awaiting decisions. Altho the guy making the decision, has known me well for 20+ years… If he wants to promote/reassign me or not, he doesn’t need written statements or interview responses.

As I suspect is often the case in higher-level appointments like this, I’m confident the choice has already been made. Doubt I have much chance. But I’d rather toss my hat into the ring and not get it, than NOT apply, and later wonder, “What if…?”

And as much as I bitch about the parts of my job that I dislike, I have no difficulty reminding myself that so many folk have it so much worse than I…