I’m not asking for advice - just curious how you would handle the situation if it was you.
I was recently contacted by a headhunter about applying for a job that is a 30% increase on my current salary. However, the job is 100 miles away. I have agreed to submit myself as a candidate and will be finding out in the next few days if the client is interested or not.
As I see it - I have 3 options:
Commute back and forth to the new project - most likely, driving up on a Monday and driving back on a Thursday or Friday. With long-term hotel rates and gas, I would still come out ahead - and would be able to stay in my new place and near my family and friends. There’s a good chance I would eventually be able to telecommute - but not for the first few months at least.
2)I could relocate to the new area, and leave my friends and family behind - going back to visit when I can. Obviously, the commute would be significantly easier - but having established some really strong friendships and roots, I don’t relish starting over in that department. My boyfriend and I don’t currently live together either - and he owns his home - so it’s not like he can just pick up and move with me right now. So we would have to figure that out.
I could turn down the job and the huge increase in pay and stay where I am for as long as my contract lasts or until a better offer comes along (slim pickings in this economy).
Which would you do? Again, not asking for advice - just curious how you would respond.
I voted for move - 100 miles, twice a day is soul destroying. When my office moved from one side of Toronto to the other my commute went from 20 minutes each way to slightly over 75 minutes each way. I managed it for just under 2 years before finally giving up and moving closer. The relief was enormous.
And I just reread the OP and I completely messed up the poll. Based on the commuting being once a week I would definitely commute. Find something to keep you busy during the nights you’ll be there, something that gets you out of the hotel room at least a little bit.
Pick the family and friends no question. Jobs can come and go in the blink of an eye but you can do damage to other relationships even by moving 50 miles away. You can always wait and move later once you get more time to evaluate the situation. You don’t even have to strictly move or sleep in a hotel at all. Some people commute that far daily or for at least part of the week. My mother once had a 250 mile round-trip commute that she did every day for a few years.
I’d drive. When my options were living in a crappy city or in a great place with my friends, family and and 110 mile commute, I did the commute for 2 years. The amount of time you will spend disliking your new place (or not enjoying it as much) is nothing compare to ~20 hours a week commuting.
Currently, I’m commuting 50 miles just so that i can be happy when I come home after work. To be fair the long commutes do get old but there was never a night I wasn’t glad I’d made the drive.
Definitely commute, especially since it may be a telecommute eventually.
ETA - when my boyfriend was a kid, his dad was in the Navy and for a while he was stationed in Virginia and for a lot of reasons it wasn’t possible for the rest of the family to move. He drove down every stinking weekend from Virginia to South Carolina. Obviously thought it was worth it.
Move. If anyone wants to come visit you, they can make the drive. I absolutely loathe commuting any distance, and “soul destroying” is a good description of a 100-mile commute. I make friends extremely easily, so I’d have new people to chill with after about a week.
I’d either take the job and move or skip the job all together. No way in hell i’d commute 200 miles round trip each day. Over 50,000 miles a year on a car? That’s a lot of wear-n-tear not to mention monthly oil changes and gas.
How often do you hang out with family and friends? 5 out of 7 days? Probably not. So drive to family and friends on weekends. Get an apartment by your work and enjoy your 5 minute commute.
I once had a 100-mile commute, but it was by train: 3 hours each way, including the walk at each end. I would not want to drive that distance, but on the train you can read a book, or even fall asleep. I lasted about 18 months in that job, until I found a better one (which was much further away, so that time I did have to move).
I answered “not take the job, hope something else comes along” based on my own situation (house, kids etc.).
Your situation is quite different. You’re not married (though you do have a strong local tie) and no kids, correct?.
Option 1 (part-week there, part-week here) sounds like a good compromise in the short term, since you mention the possibility of telecommuting. I did this exact same thing for 2 years, pre-kids, and I was already married. We lived in Virginia, I was on a project in New York, and I spent weekends at home.
I will say, it’s NOT a good long-term solution. Even if it’s only one round trip a week that gets quite old after a while.
A 200-mile round-trip daily commute is insane, of course. I know the OP doesn’t propose that.
Making the same trip on a weekly basis could be rational, if the workweek location is good. A hotel by the airport or the highway wouldn’t be much fun.
That assumes that the primary residence is owned, not rented, and is itself in a great location worth hanging on to. If the primary residence isn’t that great, or if it’s just a rented place anyway, why bother keeping it? It would make more sense to “move” to the job (and get a decent house there) and then “commute” occasionally to see friends and family.
I cannot be bought with money unless I’m financially desperate. If the current job pays the bills, then I’m not financially desperate. There are other things I value more.
I’ve also never known a corporate job to be stable, and either a lengthy commute or a move would be a hell of a lot of upheaval for a job that will probably be eliminated one way or another in less than a year and a half. If I were looking for an excuse to move there anyway that would be one thing, but if the job is the only reason it even crossed my mind, it’s just not on the table as an option.
That said, if the job itself was appealing (interesting duties, an opportunity to expand my skills), I’d probably apply anyway, and see what they say if/when they offer. Then if they did offer, I’d negotiate on the telecommuting thing. I may even consider commuting for the first 2 weeks to get up to speed on everything, and I’d certainly be willing to accept a lower salary (and +30% of an existing salary gives me a hell of a lot of money to negotiate with). But I wouldn’t move, and I wouldn’t do a long-term commute of any kind; and if they didn’t want me enough to negotiate with me on that point, then they don’t want me enough.
Of course, if the job wasn’t appealing, I wouldn’t touch it with a 100-mile pole.
How old are you? If you are young and you’ve never lived in a different place, I would definitely say move. It’s good for people to experience new places, even if you end up back in the same old place, and it’s easier to do so when you’re young with fewer ties. 100 miles is a long way to commute, but not an overly long distance to come back and visit with friends and family regularly.
I don’t think just salary is the biggest factor, either - I’d also want it to be a job that I was very interested in.
I did a 75 minute commute each way for about a year when I was first out of college and living at home to save up some money. “Soul-destroying” about covers it. I was closer to my friends and family, but the thing is, I was too exhausted Monday-Friday to actually do anything with them, and of course Sunday I had to get to bed early since I had to be up early for work Monday morning… so really it got me one day a week with them. Once I moved and got the commute down to 10 minutes, I actually got to spend more time with them, with us switching off every other weekend at their place or mine.
Just to reiterate - the 100 mile commute would only be twice a week (once up, once back), with hotel stays. There is an option for working 4 ten-hour days as well, at least to start. And then eventually telecommuting, and only going in to the office when there are meetings.
There is a train that drops off 2 blocks from the office - so one could actually read or sleep during the 90-minute trip.
But the most important thing is that I was asking what *you *would do - not what you think I should do. I appreciate everyone who answered that way!!
I just turned 40 and have lived in 6 states and over 20 locations. Not afraid to move, enjoy living in new places and learning new ways of life. However, I’m not ready to leave my boyfriend of 2 years yet - and he’s not in a position to relocate at the moment.
But the question was more about what you would do if this opportunity was presented to you.
Commute - it’s what I’m planning to do, in fact, when I have to go back to the UK to work. I’ll be flying back here, where my boyfriend (and he will be then my husband) at weekends for the first few months, til we decide what we’re doing more long-term. I did have a 60 mile each-way daily commute when I was last living in the UK - I don’t recommend that, long-term. It leads to very long days.
I’m not a child, sometimes it is necessary to leave family and friends. And 100 miles isn’t really that far.
Jobs are not stable. I would be very hesitant to uproot solely based on a single job. I’ve seen too many people get fucked that way. “Oh we want you to head up our Bumblefuck, NY office” and then the economy tanks, the office closes and your stuck in Bumblefuck with a house you can’t sell.
Okay, never mind then. I think I’d probably have to turn the job down in my case; we own property here, and I have no interest in a 90 minute commute. Hell, as bad as the traffic is here*, I’m not considering jobs that are in the wrong quadrant.
*And yes, I know there are places where the traffic is much, much worse; it’s terrible for me here.
Assuming my husband would be able to come with me & the job is great, I’d move. 100 miles isn’t too far to visit friends & family every weekend if you want.
If not, I wouldn’t take the job. Staying in hotels 4 nights a week would get old, really fast. Alone in a hotel room most nights, having to pack every weekend, not even being able to make my own dinner, no pets, etc - I’d hate that.
I think I’d probably have to turn the job down in my case; we own property here, and I have no interest in a 90 minute commute. Hell, as bad as the traffic is here*, I’m not considering jobs that are in the wrong quadrant.