If you don’t mind saying , is this new job in Greensboro NC or Greenville SC? They are both around 100 miles from Charlotte.
You will meet new friends, so move. Life is too short to be afraid to leave the comfort of your nest.
America was founded by people who left their families to start a new life. You have cell phones, email and such to keep in touch with your family. You don’t need to be in constant contact with anyone.
As for friends, you will make new ones.
Jobs are hard to come by in this economy. Supposing you don’t get a better job. Are your friends and family gonna bail you out with cash?
The OP seems to be afraid to “leave home,” and you never do yourself any favours by giving into your fear.
I used to be afraid of flying and I gave up SO much because of it. Now I can fly, I only wish I could go back in time. I would not be in the mess I am now, if I had taken advantage of opportunities, like being able to fly, in my past.
If it was by train, I would commute, no question. Driving, I would try commuting knowing that I might end up moving.
For a while, I had a SO who lived about 130 miles away. I would go visit him on weekends. Even just on weekends, the drive got old really fast. The problem was working a full day and then making a long drive (I suppose you could wait until the next day, but then you don’t have as much time with family and friends). I decided the drive was worth it (and I ended up marrying him, so I don’t regret it at all). On a train where I could read or sleep and not have to worry about actually driving, it would be a piece of cake.
If this were something that would make sense to do short-term (under 2 years) then I would take the job and commute – although I really don’t consider staying in a hotel 4 days a week commuting, I’d say that’s living in 2 cities. I would probably look for a cheap roommate situation instead of a hotel, so I could keep clothes and personal stuff there. A lot of people would discount the rent if they know they don’t have to see you on the weekends, or even at night that much – maybe someone who owns their house and just needs a little extra cash to make ends meet.
I’ve had a 1.5-2 hour commute, every day, it was a short term job so it didn’t make sense to move, my company could pull me off the project at any time without notice. I hated commuting but it was worth it to get the job experience, if I were in the same spot I’d do it again. And I know someone who took a nursing job that’s about 1.5 hours away, when she has shifts (12 hours) 2 days in a row she gets a hotel room. She decided it was worth it to get the experience.
Move. Even if you can commute back to see family or friends every weekend, that’s still five times less driving.
I suppose anyone who didn’t read the OP and/or post #16 probably won’t read this one either, but just in case:
THE OP DOES NOT PROPOSE A DAILY 200-MILE COMMUTE.
Assuming she takes the job, the options are moving vs. commuting once a week and staying in a hotel. She also adds that even with hotel fees and gas, she’d still come out ahead financially. Given that, I’d accept the job and commute. If nothing else, it’s the option that allows you to change your mind without being locked into a long-term commitment…there will still be apartments later.
Hardly the case. I’ve moved so much, my bags pack themselves. Thought I would try something different and actually stick around for once.
Other.
I accepted a job 100 miles away six months ago and commute every day. It’s not too bad.
I’m a big baby and live .7 miles from my parents (and the house where I grew up), and have a lot of friends and family here. I’ve also telecommuted my entire professional career thus far. So I voted “omg no! Stay home!” I don’t even have kids or anything.
But if I were you (not the question asked, I know), I’d go with option 1. I do like hotels and I can see it being a situation where people would come up and hang with me at a hotel if I got lonely. Or randy 
You’re so stoked about your new place, why leave it so soon?
Even if you’re going to do a weekly commute, Wouldn’t it make more sense to move there, and take the train back home every weekend when you want to visit? Fewer nights in a hotel, for one, and you wouldn’t have to go some weekend if you found the travel wearing on you.
I voted move. I can’t stand commuting. I am currently annoyed living 3 miles away from my work, and planning to move to within walking distance this summer. But that’s a personal preference, and of course other people have different preferences.
What hotel rates? Commute, but to a rented place, not a hotel.
Since you asked what we ourselves would do …
I’d have to say no. I love my job. Could I use a 30% increase in pay? Sure. But my current job pays the bills, and I know what I have there - work AND coworkers that I enjoy.
What would I have at the new job? I don’t know. But if it turned out to be work I hated and coworkers from hell, a 30% raise wouldn’t have been worth it.
The key element that is missing here is the straight dope on the telecommuting office. If it telecommuting really is going to happen in a couple of months, by all means stay home. You can do anything for a couple of months!
Other: What commuting options are available? If the 100 miles are by train or subway, it could be tolerable to me. By bus or car, probably not.
Also, I personally believe that company loyalty is a must. While you are currently in a position to take a better job, would you even have that opportunity if your current employer didn’t give you valuable skills and experience? When you first got that job, did they take a chance on someone fresh out of college? (Of course, this would be irrelevant if you got your current job the same way as this job you are thinking about.)
How important is your career to you? If you value career over family and friends, by all means take it. If not, stay home. You wouldn’t be the first person who sacrificed family/friends for their career. Personally, my friends will always be my friends, regardless of how far away I am. My family is also used to being spread out and visiting maybe once every 5 years or so.
What other considerations are important? For me, my big thing is buying a house. Currently, I live in a city where the median price for houses is $500k, and condos are $200k. I would jump at the chance to get a $100-200k home.
This sums up part of my answer (substituting “partner”, who I live with, for “kids”)…
…and so does this (substituting “like” for “love”). I also think it’s important that I think I have reasonable career/earnings prospects at my current company, making a move less attractive even with a significant short-term gain.
This was puzzling me slightly, too. Why, if you were going to be somewhere for 4 or 5 nights out of 7, would you not rent a place to live? Then you’d have somewhere to cook, it would be cheaper than a hotel, you could decorate… The only advantage to living in a hotel is that someone else cleans for you. (Which is no small thing, as I look around the bombsite that is my house at the moment. But still probably not worth the extra cost.)
Rent vs. Hotel
A hotel or furnished rental are both in consideration. I would not want to decorate 2 places if I’m not moving there - I just finished decorating the place I’m renting now Even the right kind of temporary roommate/room for rent situation would be possible. I just don’t want to maintain 2 households.
Company loyalty:
I am currently a contractor at my present position - have only worked this assignment for 9 months (not some kid out of college who they took a chance on) and the playing field has recently changed drastically.
Where I am is not some solid, comfy job - they are in the midst of some major changes - which is why I am keeping my options open. This position was presented to me by one of my agencies - it would again be a contract position - but there is a possibility of transitioning to an employee in the 2011 budget if they like my work.
Telecommuting
According to the agency recruiter, many of the employees currently telecommute. The employer would want someone to be on-site while the project kicks off, but there’s the option of working flex time (4 days vs. 5 days) and eventually just working in the office part-time (like maybe 2 days a week for meetings, and working the other 3 at home.
Friends & Family
If this was just my friends & family, I would probably move. But it’s not - it’s also my boyfriend of 2 years whom I love very much. He’s currently not in a position to relocate for several reasons. And, I currently have some commitments outside of work that I’m very invested in, like the club for Geeks I started two years ago. It’s grown from 8 people to over 277 active members. So, for the first time in a long long time - I have roots. Hence why I’m not just relocating at the drop of a hat.
Of course, again, these are all my considerations - but I hope it helps you give your opinion on what you would do.
I’d go with the Weekly commute - provided you can get it in writing that the job will turn into a telecommute opportunity. Otherwise… I dunno. 30% is pretty significant.
If I were in the OP’s position, I’d probably go with the commute. My situation, though, involves having bought a condo at the height of the bubble.
Also, I like audiobooks.
I wouldn’t move. My husband has a job, I have kids, I own a house.
If I were single, and didn’t own a house, I’d move 100 miles away in a heartbeat. 100 miles is nothing to drive back on a weekend… And I’ve never done a lot of mid-week things with my friends. Especially if you can crash with family or friends or boyfriend each weekend.
I worked with a guy who did the four day commute thing. He had a really cheap studio apartment in town and a home (with his girlfriend and their child) about two hours away by car.