I have been musing over this dilemma for some time now, and the other college thread made me decide to write this one. Ok here is the thing, I am in my third year of college, and I have switched degree plans three times. At first I started out wanting to be a Physical therapist. I was making 30k a year at a factory, and figured I wanted something new. I realized that physical therapists don’t make much money, but it was the job security I was after. School for PTs was pretty competative, and I later learned how much Pharmacists make, and that they don’t have much more schooling, and the program was just as difficult to get into. So I switched plans. No change in classes though, as they were pretty similar.
Later, after working in a pharmacy for a year, just in the last 6 months actually, I decided pharmacy wasn’t for me. The customers overwhelmed me and I tended to lash out in minute ways, and I discovered that my defense mechanism was a bit of arrogance. All this world needs is another grumpy, arrogant pharmacist that cannot handle the stress of a high pressure, fast paced job.
So I decided to switch my degree again. I was sticking to a biological field at this point because most of my current credits (64) were mostly maths, chemistry and biology (probably 30 credits in the sciences and math). Now, I chose biochemistry because I still plan on doing some pharmacology, but it is open to whatever grad school I get into.
But my dilemma is that I am not really all that good at it. I get B’s in chemistry, and tend to slack off and not study as hard as I need to. I guess I get distracted by those that absorb it readily and don’t need to study so hard. Math is definately not my strong suit, and I get low B’s, and have to work pretty hard to keep them up that high.
Now to get into grad school, I only need to maintain a 3.0. I gather that grad schools are not all that competative (the ones I am going for anyhow), and that many people do not go to graduate school, so they accept most of the ones that meet minimum requirements. 99% of the biochemistry students go pre-med. Very few go grad. The question isn’t whether I can get in, but what sort of scientist I can be at my best. Mediocre. I find the subject interesting, and am somewhat passionate about it, but I have this constant feeling that I am dooming myself with high student loans for a career that may not be for me. I know it sounds silly, but I have always had pretty high marks in my english classes, and anytime I am assigned a paper I get special praise from my teachers. I feel passionate about writing, and while I am no editor, I am pretty creative and see myself as an artist of words.
I realize that I can write with any degree, and that learning this field may not hinder my writing skills, but am I doing myself a disservice? Should I be in an english degree, or working on some creative writing degree? Or am I doing the write ( ;)) thing by challenging myself with a field that makes me work hard for decent marks?
I should also mention that I am 28 years old, and by the time I graduate with a masters or PhD in any field, I will be something like 35 years old. (2 1/2 years undergrad, and ~4 years grad)
At this point, part of me is really regreting starting school. I could have gotten an AA degree in some techincal field and been making 35-40k a year with minimal loans. When I graduate with a B.S I will have something like 40-50k, and a degree that is meaningless in my field without a PhD. (not much money in jobs that only require a B.S in Biochemistry- lab techs- something like 12-15 dollars an hour)
I know I am not putting in everything about myself, but knowing what is above, and that my intelligence is only mediocre, do I stand much of a chance? The field isn’t highly competative, but I am a writer yearning for a story more than a scientist with a specific goal in mind. Writing, though, is better left a hobby, or should it be?
I also heard that the jobs at the hospital are pretty harsh, rotating shifts, night jobs, etc coupled with lower pay than the retail sector discouraged me. As for the research end, there was simply a lack of passion, coupled with the high cost and extreme competition, I rejected it for research that was easier to get accepted into- Pharmacology, rather than pharmecuetical research.
Now if there was paralegal type of work in patent law, that would be great!