Another dead relative, coming up!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My great aunt called me last night. The hospital told her they were sending her husband (my great uncle) home on Christmas day.

This isn’t good news. He has been given a week to live, maybe less.

He has heart disease. He went in because of his second stroke. He has dementia, tbd, tmi, whatever they call it. He had two heart attacks during this visit. In a moment of lucidity, he asked to come home. My great aunt insisted with the doctors. So, home it is. Home to die.

While on the phone, I made sure to remind her how loved they both are. We prayed (Christians). We talked about some of the past oh so cool things he did. And how he was basically just a good man, a good husband, a good father, a good soul, for his his wonderful life that is ending much too soon at the young age of only 82 years.

So, while most of the her little neighborhood will be celebrating one of the high points of life, we will be preparing to bury a cherished friend.

He loved building. Seems to run in my family. (Even tho he’s not the blood relation, she is, it still counts to me.) And he made wooden toys for all his kids, grandkids, nephews, nieces, etc… and then when we all grew up, he didn’t stop. Like an addiction, he had to make toys as a hobby. And give them away as an outward sign of his love of life.

It’ll be so weird tomorrow. Outside, children will be laughing and playing. In their house, it will still be filled with love, but also with a very great sadness.

God be with you, Uncle Eldon.

2

My prayers are with you and your Aunt,NoCB.

3

Thank you, vanilla. Coming from you, I know it’s well meant.

4

I think that was one of the kindest, sweetest posts I’ve ever read on this board. What a loving tribute to an obviously special uncle.

My heart goes out to you and your family, NoClueBoy.

5

I also would like to express my sympathy, and my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

6

NCB, I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

7

You guys are swell.

I’m going to bed, now. Will update when I know more.

Good night and God bless.

8

He sounds like a wonderful man. My sympathies to you and your family.

9

Well, he didn’t get to come home after all.

One of my cousins let me know that all had been changed because of he caught a staff infection and they think he may also have pnuemonia. Letting him out under those circumstances would be virtually criminal.

Now, they aren’t expecting him make it through the night. or, if he does, not the next one.

So, we all visited at the hospital for a bit. Wouldn’t let us in his room, understandably. But that’s rough on my aunt. Several of us are taking turns staying up there with her.

Uncle Eldon is out of it, barely conscious at times, and apparantly not very lucid at all during those moments. So, no saying goodbye.

At least the last time we talked, a mere two weeks ago or so, was fairly pleasent. Funny, isn’t it? How someone’s passing makes you a little selfish. Since we don’t realy know what it’s like to die, what we think of is how much we’ll miss them.

And I’m thinking of the power of the human heart. It can fail in a man’s body, and yet still affect others, even from far away.

By the way, my aunt will be well taken care of, not to worry. I’ll take my turn later tonight. And when it does happen, she won’t have to think of anything. We’re taking care of it. I can guarantee, with this family, the only thing she’ll be wanting from here on out, will be her departed husband.

Now, I’ll go engage in some trivial stuff to kill the time til this evening. Thanks for all your kind words and thoughts.

10

You and your family sound like very fine folk NCB. I hope your great-uncles passing is peaceful and that your great-aunt (and the rest of you) find some solace in your closeness with each other.

Best wishes.
kambuckta

11

I’m sorry to hear this. He sounds like a wonderful man.

12

Condolences.

And I’m not sure that thinking about how much you’ll miss 'em is “selfish.”

I mean, what is there that you COULD do for him right now that you haven’t done already? Sometimes, when the time has come, the time has come, and you’ve done what you can.

That’s when you do what you can for the living, and leave the rest up to the deity of your choice.

13

Yeah, selfish wasn’t really the word I was looking for, but it fit close enough. The main point of including that was to highlight what, for me, is kind of mind numbing. The concept of non existance.

Even though I have faith in a God, this is a difficult concept. Maybe some people have such a strong faith in their choice of God that this thought doesn’t come up. And, I’m sure some others are just credulous.

But, for a person trying to link rational thought with real faith (and not just some mumbo jumbo good feeling) in a Creator(s), it’s a no man’s land of sorts.

I hope I don’t come across as arguing, but you make a good point, Mr. Ka. btw, thanks.

14

NCB,

There’s no such thing as non-existence.

Think about it for a minute.

:slight_smile:

15

NCB, you said some of the most wonderful things to me when my uncle was close to passing (and did) earlier this fall. I only wish I was as good with words. That said, I’ll do my best.

Yes, it is sad, painful, and sorrowful that he should be in such ill health at this usually happy time of the year. From what you’ve said, he’s been in pain and his body has been failing him lately. But now he will be receiving a wonderful gift - the gift of freedom from his worn-out shell. Since you indicated that yours is a Christian family, you can rest assured that he will be happy and safe again soon, seeing those he’s missed again.

God bless you and your family. May He give you the comfort in your heart and strength in your faith to grieve for and rejoice in Eldon’s life.

16

Avarie, you do realise, don’t you, that all words of comfort are eloquent? It has nothing to do with style, it’s all about intent. Yours worked.

Wang-Ka, we need new words in the English language! Since the body/mind structure that once existed can now never be obliterated from this space/time continuum that includes past present and future, what shall we call the new state of non conscious existence, on the off chance (to me) that there is no God (or whatever) outside of our realm to give us any further “life”?

17

NoClueBoy, you are, without a doubt, one of my favorite posters on this board. You are kind, considerate, funny and bright. There aren’t enough people in this world that these things can be said about. I’m so sorry to hear of your difficulties, and for them to happen this time of year really does suck! We get selfish about these things because ours is the only frame of reference we have; it’s quite a natural thing to do. I will pray for God to bring comfort to you and your family, as well as a prayer for your uncle, that all may be as smooth and painless as possible.
{{{NoClueBoy}}}

18

Don’t know what good the prayers of a lapsed Pan-Theistic Hedonist will do, but you and yours have mine. May you have the strength and will to be a rock for those who will need one.

19

My condolences, NoClueBoy.

You are also one of my favorite posters 'round these parts. Your posts almost never fail to make me nod and at least smirk, if not outright guffaw.

I went through this same scenario with my grandmother two months ago. Sick for a while, gradual deterioration, then suddenly given just a few days to live prognosis. I was fortunate to be close enough to her to hold her hand and say what I had to say in private, though realistically she probably didn’t hear a word I’d said. But just on the off chance that something was still in there processing outside information, I said my piece. She died six hours later.

Perhaps you can say your last words into a recorder and have a nurse place it next to your uncle and have them play it. Some part of him may still be able to hear and understand your words. It sure doesn’t hurt to think that and it does nobody any harm.

Again, my condolences to you and your family, especially your aunt. It’s great that she’s got family to be with at this difficult time. And here’s to your Uncle Sheldon and wishing him a painless journey to his final destination.

20

Oi. I had an aunt who just passed away, no my grandfather’s been given 2-3 months. I (not really, but sorta) know how you feel.