“The order to exit the vehicle was not a request, it was a lawful command.”
The crux of the problem is what people perceive as “lawful”. When you pull someone over for a seatbelt violation, there is no reason to ask the passenger for identification or to tell them to get out of the car if they don’t offer it.
As for the notion that noncompliance and resisting is allowed by law to be met with X reaction, someone needs to assess whether the order/command was lawful in the first place. A person is even entitled to resist an unlawful arrest and to refuse to comply with an unlawful command. To be sure, establishing that the police officer’s actions were unlawful is a bear and a challenge most will not undertake, but the acquiescence to nonsense and unlawful behavior only adds to the problem … and the misperceptions that lead to a skewed idea of how the law is designed to and should work.
It’s also true that unless and until someone has a misguided, idiotic, or unethical or cranky or vengeful person accuse them of criminal wrongdoing (because these situations by and large tend not to be kicked off by law enforcement’s personal observations) and the accused comes smack up against the reality that is the criminal justice system, they may never ever truly understand let alone accept how it works (more often than not).
Certain folks need to, should they care to, really truly spend time drilling down and not simply accept as accurate what they think they know about the law (in most states), or more often believe and miscategorize it as “know[ledge]”.