Why did the chicken in Texas cross the road?
To prove to the armadillo it could be done.
[sub](Actually, the answer to “Why did the chicken cross the road?” is “To get to the other side.”)[/sub]
Well, to be fair, lots of Americans think holidays associated with other countries, such as St. Patrick’s Day and Cinco de Mayo, are perfectly good excuses for a party. It’s not totally unreasonable for them to wonder if it works the other way around as well (although I agree asking WHAT you do for the fourth of July, rather than IF you celebrate it, is silly).
Hey, I only posted this one once! Blame the university server, which is similar to a real server in most ways, but not all.
It’s just a dumb joke that captivates 7-year-olds everywhere. Trust me; I live with one. Some sick bastard (okay, it was my father) gave him a joke book for his birthday.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
Why did the duck cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
Why did the chicken run across the road?
There was a car coming!
Why did the chicken cross the road twice without taking a bath?
Because it was a dirty double-crosser!
ROFL! 
Okay, centimoons is now an official unit of measure, in my lexicon, anyway.
Sorry, buckle of the Bible belt here (Northern Missouri)
Go Bearcats!:rolleyes:
Some of my users can’t spell to save their lives. One of the systems I support kicks out “abc123” as a default new password. The policy folks would prefer something like m@caR0n! (macaroni in numbers, letters and characters) but we don’t call them lusers for nothing.
So… I unlock the user’s ID and say "Your new temporary password is ‘abc123’ I try not to think about how many times I say that in a day. All day long, it’s abc123, except for the Unix system that gives out ‘unix’ followed by the MMDD date - today’s is ‘unix1110’
Every so often, a memorable user comes along. I actually had a gentleman ask “How do you spell that?” when I said ‘abc123’ - took me a moment to gather myself and unmute the phone so I could say “That’s aye bee cee one two three.”
I was amused by the otherwise highly intelligent young woman from Los Angeles who thought that Quebec City was near the Arctic Circle. (Um, even Yellowknife is below the Arctic Circle. And Quebec City is below the latitude of Seattle. I know it’s cold there, but the Arctic Circle? Girl, please.)
I don’t get how someone could not know that if they’d had basic Jazz theory. Weird. I found it most instructive to play the I-IV-V on the piano, then do the necessary inversions to make it ridiculously simple to play over and over again.
One of my friends was telling me that he was going on a white water rafting trip, and how he was looking forward to all the rapids. So I jocularly replied, “Well, look out for the rocks!”
“What do you mean rocks?”
I eventually learned he had no idea that rapids were caused by water going over steep rocks. I think he just thought that the water decided to have a party every once in a while.
Just barely on topic, but I went to prom with a beautiful, intelligent and cultured girl who had rather inexplicable gaps in her knowledge. After we finish our dinner, dessert come around. She looks, puzzled, at her plate. “What is it?” she asks. I glance down at the dish. “You seriously don’t know what this is?” “No, what is it?” "Ummm, pie, apple pie, as in ‘American as …’ " How she managed to get through 17 years in America without once tasting or, for that matter, seeing an apple pie is beyond my comprehension.
driving home one day, i asked my friend what time the local 7-11 closed…
I had my ex convinced that archeologists had found dinasour fossils holding a placard that said “End Nuclear Testing Now”…
A friend was on the 'phone to me one day with a pc problem, part of my reply was to “bounce the box”, i swear i heard a thud from the other side…
I almost started this thread a few days ago! I would have linked to the old one, but the hamsters weren’t cooperative. Anyway, what inspired me was my purchase of yeast.
Cashier: What’s this?
Rilch: Yeast.
Cashier: Yeah, I see, but what is it? A diet supplement?
Rilch: It’s to make bread.
Cashier: Instant bread?
Rilch: No, it’s the main ingredient of bread. It expands in water, and makes the bread expand.
Hubajube: So what are those two areas? Nose (exterior)? Soles of feet? Tongue?
As I understand it, the “joke” comes from the ambiguity of the word “why”. You’re supposed to misinterpret the question as “What caused the chicken to cross the road?”, not “To what end did the chicken cross the road?” (yes, I can hear you slapping your thigh already).
“Why did the chicken cross the road?” Is it ever really a joke?
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts.
In one of the 250 gift catalogs I’ve been getting in the last six weeks, there is a game called “Duh.” Apparently it’s just full of easy questions and brain non-teasers. The idea is that in the course of play someone will inevitably get one wrong anyway, and you can make sure they never live it down. Sounds like a fabulous game.
Hey don’t feel so bad about that one… the 7-11 in my husband’s tiny hometown in northwestern Virginia closes at 12:30 a.m. I mean why 12:30? And it’s not like the store is on a main drag where truckers or long distance travelers might be passing through, you REALLY have to make an effort to find this 7-11 and it doesn’t even have a gas station.
Soles of the feet and palms of the hands.
My guess would be the soles of your feet and your palms?
Curses.
As it happens, I give users ‘abc123’ when they’ve forgotten a password. Our default password for most things is the user’s birthdate, pulled from the HR database, and there are a few out there who can’t even remember that.