I am no longer able to deal with the CTs and the idiots that spread the stories. This guy keeps coming in the bar trying to convince people that the google earth shot of a dome-shaped underwater dune is real. Aliens are here.
Now he doesn’t want to hear about geology, California’s fault lines or point Dome. So how do you handle this? I mean, seriously, this is simple idiocy that needs a simple point to stifle these morons.
Tell him he’s right, you’re an alien and you want to probe his anus.
Whip this out.
I’ll start with that saying, “This is what they used on me in 1997.” 
Tell him there’s a private investigator named Jim Rockford who lives in Malibu who he can hire for a daily fee plus expenses. He can call and leave Rockford a message.
Here’s where he gets his info from:
Our old buddy Jimmy Church is at the helm of this one.
When the movie, Fire in the Sky, came out I was too young to think about it, but with age and modern knowledge, I have to think that if a group of guys go missing for a few days and come back with a silly story and excuses for anal damage, I’m thinking that it’s not actually all that great a mystery what happened.
I’d tell him I knew exactly what he’s talking about. Then I’d explain that I could no longer talk about it because the government had taken me aside and threatened me with exposing a secret military base if I mentioned it again. If I refused to cooperate, they said I’d be taken away and locked up forever. Keep looking over your shoulder when you explain this to him.
I have voluntary nystagmus (I can shake my eyes rapidly at will). I’ll do that when I tell him the next probe will be less painful.
Tell him that his theory is full of crap… it’s really a secret government psychic warfare base. You know because you escaped, then bought a pack of smokes, checked into a motel and…
