It seems to me that most people, when seeing someone they find extremely attractive, will feel some sort of rush of sexual energy. Is this justified based on actual sexual experiences? Is actual sexual enjoyment that strongly linked to the physical beauty of the other person?
On the extremes, the answer seems obvious. If you find someone so unappealing as to find them physically repulsive, chances are the sex will be bad. On the flip side, having a desire and lust certainly can’t hurt the sex.
I have no doubt most people find their mate (lover, amore, whatever) attractive, but I doubt most think of their mate as the ideal. If your mate were to be closer to that ideal, would the sex be necessarily better?
On another side, for people that have slept with a wide range of people, are beautiful people, in general, better in bed? Yes, I’m aware this could be mostly perception driven, but sex perceived to be better, IS better.
So how about it? What do your experiences tell you?
Late-20th century American Hollywood-inspired values about looks have got absolutely zip to do with quality between the sheets. It may have something to do with keeping an interest in the other person going long enough for the relationship to progress to home plate, and it may make watching your SO walk around in various stages of undress more enjoyable, but once you’re in a relationship that’s going to stay at that level, it’s not the looks that keep it there, and if the relationship falls apart, it’s not the sexual ability or lack thereof that’s going to break it up.
i dated the classic, all-american good looking sort of boy. he was of average build and was perfectly proportionate, if you understand what i mean. everything was ok.
now i’m dating a guy not much taller than me of pretty small frame. it’s hard to compare looks, but i guess he’s as attractive as all-american boy. i had slight issues about feeling positively massive around him at first, but later i discovered…well, that parts of his body exceeded my expectations. everything is better than ok.
so whenever i see a small guy, i can’t help but think twice…
I can’t imagine wanting to have sex with someone who held zero attraction for me because of what was between his ears, no matter how gorgeous from a purely aesthetic standpoint. So I guess I don’t have much of a basis for comparison. On the other hand, I probably wouldn’t want to have sex with someone who physically repulsed me, no matter how kind, intelligent, sensitive, thoughful, and generally wonderful. There’s got to be a little of everything, at least.
On the other hand, for 4 years I dated a guy who I actually thought was a bit on the funny-looking side…in the beginning, it didn’t bother me, because the way he treated me more than made up for his physical idiosyncrasies. Even when he started gaining weight, I didn’t care. However, when he started treating me like a jerk, things went downhill rather rapidly. And when he started criticizing my appearance and behavior, that finally killed the relationship.
Now, even if he lost all the weight, got buff, and fixed his acne, etc., you couldn’t get me to have sex with him for all the tea in China. And he’s a massage therapist, so basically, his job is to use his hands to make people feel really, really good, so that’s saying quite a lot.
I have been fortunate to have been with a very large number of girls in my life. I have found that the beauty queens are by far the worst lovers. They are used to guys begging for attention from them, so they never learned to make any effort at giving anything back. For them, its all about them. Many view sex as something that you are lucky to be getting from them, not as something that you are sharing together. Not that it is all their fault, nor that this applies to every beautiful girl. I have had some that were delightful lovers. I always thought it curious that the girls with the best bodies are the ones most self conscious about themselves. They are the kind that don’t want you to see them naked with the lights on. Average girls are much more sexually expressive, IMO.
