I’m Not Okay (and so’s my wife!)
I’m OK, you’re OK.
I’m a lumberjack, and I’m okay.
I think we are all a little bit umkay…
…inside. <wipes tear>
:
I know buddy. Mea culpa. I’m about as subtle as a show tune singing, rainbow shitting, flying purple badger. 
[Mr. Mackey Voice]
Lying on the internet is bad, umkay. You shouldn’t lie on the internet, umkay.
[/Mr. Mackey Voice]
Strange. I actually split up with her on the docks at night…
I saw Umkay drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s
And her hair was perfect
She’s got the money for a live-in hairdresser and she’s just sassy enough to want one
Umkay be all around in the dark. She’ll be ever’where - wherever you can look.
Wherever there’s a fight so hungry people can eat, She’ll be there.
Wherever there’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, She’ll be there.
She’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re mad
She’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re hungry an’ they know supper’s ready.
An’ when the people are eatin’ the stuff they raise, and livin’ in the houses they build
She’ll be there, too.
umkay likes piña coladas, and getting caught in the rain
she’s not much into health foods, she is into champagne and trolling and her fantasy worlds.
Is umkay the new Grapist?
This post has been umkayed by the umkayist!
As long as there is injustice, whenever a Targathian baby cries out, wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, she’ll be there. This fine chair, this fine crew of carers. Never give up… and never surrender.
Who’s rolling through the forums of Straight Dope
Who’s being hounded by devotés
Who’s richer than the Queen of England
Everyone knows it’s Umkay
And Umkay has told some lies
But she’s easy on the eyes
And Umkay learned to skydive
Above the clouds (above the clouds)
Above the clouds (above the clouds)
Flute solo
Umkay is testing your faith. Believe!
But seriously folks, I did wonder if umkay made some changes to her story (New! Improved! Now with more lesbians!) about dating a devotee and submitted it to the Savage Love sex advice column. While the details were different, the first letter this week reminded me of her: July 11, 2012
Maybe I’m just extra suspicious of spunky wheelchair-bound women on the Internet right now, but aside from the general tone reminding me of umkay it seems odd to me that a person with “about as much physical strength as a quadriplegic” would 1) be asked to take a photo using someone else’s a smartphone and 2) be able to look at the old photos and “quickly” email them to herself without attracting any attention from the phone’s owner.
Not much to add to this thread, but I’d like to say, this is the funniest post I’ve read on this board all day. :)
Doink! :smack:
Drat! I didn’t see this thread until every last pun and witticism had been used.
Next time …