So there I am, waiting in line with my friends to get into the G3 concert in San Francisco. We’ve been in line for an hour or so and the crowd is beginning to get big.
Suddenly, up walks this guy with a 20 foot tall painted canvas sign quoting Thessalonians about how we will all fry in Hell if we don’t immediately adopt baby Jesus as our Lord and Saviour. The sign is supported by an even longer metal pole which rests in a flag carrying type waist belt you see worn in marching bands.
The real corker was when this cretin brought up a battery powered megaphone from his belt and began his attempts at witnessing to the crowd in line.
Now, I am a firm believer in free speech. I will happily defend to the death a person’s right to say whatever they want within legal limits. What I do not like is when someone takes it upon themselves to begin lecturing a bunch of people who have no choice about leaving the scene.
As soon as this jackass began the usual tirade about how us evil rock and rollers were going to all deep fry in eternal damnation my blood began to boil.
[Important footnote: Zenster has an extremely loud voice when he wants to.]
After less than a minute of this garbage I finally hit the ceiling and let this guy know what I thought of him taking advantage of people who were stuck in line. He attempted to turn up the volume on his megaphone but was not quite ready for a cogent person who was capable of shouting down his own puny little voice amplifier.
I berated the maggot for his false witnessing. I told him that he was performing the work of Satan by trying to spread the word of Jesus in a way that only made people less likely to ever seek out his faith. He keep up his stream of babble and so I just ratcheted up my voice to the final notch and literally blew his hair back.
I told him how dare he preach to a captive audience. That by doing so he was merely defeating his own purpose. I mentioned how if he was at another corner and this many people gathered to hear him it would be fine, but that he was a dastard and a moral coward for trying to hit people over the head with religion. He was pretty slow on the uptake but as people started to applaud my actions the light finally came on.
I began to mutter about where are lightning bolts when you need them (in reference to the very tall metal pole connected to his body). Sadly, others in the crowd took the easy way out and began telling him to shut up. I was obliged to defend this moron’s right to free speech, but I still stuck it to him about what a poor representative he was of Jesus. He finally caught on that he wasn’t about to get any converts in my section of the line and pointed his megaphone elsewhere, but the wind was already out of his sails.
I had to apologize to the people around me for the loudness of my voice, but it was the price of fending off this abusive twit and worth every cent of it.
So, anybody else have any run-ins like this before?