I don’t need your respect.
Three of my step parents have been in my life for all of my 30 years. The fourth for 24. You can believe what you like about my and other people’s circumstances, but it doesn’t make it true.
Just as well really
I have a sort of stepmother, whom, while I do not love the same level as my mom, is still very much loved (like a super-aunt, I love her more than my remaining bio-aunt). The idea that she doesn’t “count” is stupid, as she has been with me since I was born.
Even more stupid, according to the other logic, is to discount my “Granny” because she is really my “step-grandmother”. C’mon now, she is granny. Any discussion stating otherwise has been met with either “I’ll ignore you, blood relative, because I prefer granny” or “Let’s just not mention granny, but she IS granny, you idiot”.
Has this shaken your love for her at all? I’m curious.
Mom definitely unconditionally-perhaps too much so in a way, but that’s a topic for another thread.
Dad (deceased) I checked the “a lot, but not unconditionally”, which is the closest available choice to the truth. He and I rarely saw eye to eye on anything (to illustrate, in Myers-Briggs he was an ESTJ, while I am an INFP), so it was hard for him to love unconditionally someone whom he didn’t fully understand. But he did give me tons of slack, probably far more than I deserved.
Not permitting a murderer to go free or on a more extreme scale stopping some one from taking part in genocidal activities is considerably different from slavishly doing what society expects of you. I don’t think you can consider yourself a civilized, ethical human being and say you would let a loved one get away with murder unconditionally. In order for a society to function properly, at some point the majority of its members have to put the public good above their emotional needs. I have actually watched a few beloved family members get taken away in handcuffs. In most cases ( American arrests for petty crime), I responded by helping to post bail and get them proper legal defense. A few times in the Balkans the feeling of watching the arrested person being led away was overwhelming relief that that person was arrested because it relieved me of my guilt for not stirring rat poison into their coffee. I
Both of my parents love me a lot, but my dad is the only one where I’m sure it’s unconditional. My mom could love me that way, but I feel like the fact that I’m even wondering about it means probably not. For example, I’m afraid to imagine what might happen if I converted to Islam.
No, it’s just confused me.
How can I answer without thinking when I don’t even know what are the units of measurement for “love?”
What the hell. My dad loves me 7.8 valentines.
My mom is dead, but when she was alive, she loved me 7.9 valentines.
I do think my parents love me unconditionally, but I really had to think about it. Thy’re not exactly in the running for Healthiest Mother or Father Award (Emotional Wellbeing category). If I really needed something and they happened to notice, they’d gladly give it to me even if it meant sacrifice to themselves. It’s always a bit awkward because a lot of love is for THEIR ONLY CHILD, which is kind of a generic role—nothing to do with me as an individual person. It’s one of those things where I’m pretty sure of it but not so sure that I’d ever test it.
I would hope that if I did something horrible, my parents would turn me in.
I know my parents like me more than my sister, and they’re willing to do things for me that they aren’t willing to do for my sister (for example, they would never let my sister live with them again, and they would me.) A lot of that is that I haven’t ruined their trust in me and I’m not as selfish.
Is their love unconditional? I don’t know for sure. I’m not about to test it.
My parents love my sister and I with all their hearts. They aren’t perfect, but their love for us is beyond question.
My parents love all their children in the best way they know how.
I only answered conditionally for my mum because she was so down on my weight during my life. I lost a lot of weight in my mid-teens (thanks to dangerous diet pills) and it was like I gained a whole new mum - one who was happy to be seen with me and wanted to take me shopping and do things together. Before then, I hadn’t really been aware of how much impact my fatness had on her, I just thought it was mum being mum.
Substitute “brother” for “sister” and this is my answer too.
I certainly don’t deserve it, but both my mom and dad have been unconditional in their love for me.
/I don’t get it, either :rolleyes:
I think my parents believed they loved me, they just didn’t know how.
My parents love me lots and I them but they do drive me a bit crazy with their right wing beliefs. But in spite of our not seeing eye to eye on some things, I do think they love me unconditionally, or something close to it.
Sorry, wrong options. For mother and father both, the answer shouldn’t be, “I don’t know if they loved me.” In most cases it should be, “I don’t know how (as in unconditionally or not) they loved me.”
It’s fairly certain that my father had narcissistic personality disorder, in addition to his other issues, so he was pretty much incapable of loving anyone.
My mother is probably incapable of loving anyone unconditionally, with the possible exception of our oldest brother when he was younger. She definitely does not love my second sister, so I selected conditional love, as what she feels for me seems to be between the two.
That is one ugly post. And your reaction when that position was criticized makes the sentiment behind it appear even uglier.
You know why I wouldn’t let a murderer go free? Because what I allow to happen to someone else’s loved ones I invite to happen to mine. I don’t mean some mystical karmic crap, I mean laying the groundwork for a society based on biological bonds above all else (which would be a harsh, troubled and patently unfair society). Murderers by their very definition have done something to another person that no one wants done to them or their loved ones and that can’t be allowed to stand. If every biological family member of a murderer thought like you did, then every time there was a murder the legal system would have to take on entire families.
Murder is one of many actions which can very quickly and dramatically erode a society’s empathy and if the price I pay for living in a society based on empathy is that I don’t get to be a special flower whose loved ones can get away with murder, so be it.