A lot of people, especially parents talk about unconditional love of children. But philosophically, is it possible for humans to feel unconditional love for someone/something?
To me, unconditional love means NO matter what the object of that love does, NO matter what happens, under NO circumstances whatsoever can that love fade or change. Also, it can never be doubted or questioned, and must last Forever (or at least as long as the Lover lives).
Would you define unconditional love this way?
I think unconditional love is impossible for humans to realize because REASON and SELFISHNESS are central to the human disposition. Any thoughts?
I think ‘unconditional love’ is a literary rather than a factual statement. I’ve never been a parent, so I can’t deal with that angle of things, except to say that I’m pretty sure there is a lot I could get away with and my mom at least wouldn’t stop loving me. But if unconditional love exists, I haven’t felt it towards someone myself. Probably the closest I’ve felt it to is my best friend James, in order to save whose life I’d fellate Rush Limbaugh.
Many people in history have done just that, and while they made the supreme sacrifice one man can make for another I don’t think that really is unconditional love.
I would say my feelings I have for my granddaughter come the closest to unconditional love I have experienced, but I know as she gets older, I will find it is conditional, just like it turned out to be for my children. I don’t think people are capable of true unconditional love. Maybe almost unconditional, but not completely.
As a parent, I can say this–yes, unconditional love is indeed possible.
My three-year-old can make me utterly crazy. Then she’ll turn around and do something so unbelievably cute that it just brings me to my knees. She can make me angrier than I’ve ever been, but always, always, I love her.
Not everyone feels this love. If everyone did, Jerry Springer would not have a job. Most families are not like that, though. Most parents do feel that unconditional love for their children.
Cristi, Slayer of Peeps
I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.
I agree with Cristi on this one. I don’t think you can really ask whether humans feel this, all different people feel things in all different ways. I know that I’ve felt unconditional love, though that could just be a chemical imbalance.
“Yeah baby, I’m sure you are real beautiful on the inside. But how’m I supposed to see your beautiful insides when I gotta look through all that ugly?”-Vince, from: Commonly Known Vincisms And Vincenomers
I’d like to clarify what I said earlier. I think all love is basically unconditional, it’s just a matter of how strongly you feel it. At low levels, love can be overcome by reason. But love can also be so overwhelming that reason is lost in the abyss of emotion. Not to mention all the other feelings involved. And that’s why it varies from person to person. Somer people are more inclined towards reason than love, and vice versa.
“Yeah baby, I’m sure you are real beautiful on the inside. But how’m I supposed to see your beautiful insides when I gotta look through all that ugly?”-Vince, from: Commonly Known Vincisms And Vincenomers
As stated, nope, not even possible. I would say that I love my daughter unconditionally, but not by that definition. How can the love not change? She changes. I change. The world changes. Through all this, I will continue to love her, though not the same way every minute of every day. Were you expecting something more?
Only a small number of people are truly awake. These people go through life in a state of constant amazement.
I don’t think that unconditional love is possible, but not because we as people are “weak”, but rather because we are reasonable. There are people in my life I love very, very much, but I would cease loving them if I learned they molested children, or beat up old women for kicks. We had a kid here in my town a couple years ago who took an axe to his whole family. They all died, but had one parent lived I daresay that they would have had a hard time continuing to love the child that had destroyed the rest of the family.
There you get into love vs. instinct. I think the parents would still love the child, somewhere in their heart. But that love would be overcome by instinct. No matter how much you love that button, if it shocks you every time you touch it…
“I stink, therefor I am.”-Vince, from: Commonly Known Vincisms And Vincenomers
Well, if you can call love an instinct than you can tie virtually anything into instinct. Personally, I like to think that love is evidence of the existence of souls. But I can already tell I won’t get much empathy for that viewpoint in a mainly scientific forum.
“I stink, therefor I am.”-Vince, from: Commonly Known Vincisms And Vincenomers
Anyways, I would consider what I feel for my girlfriend as “unconditional love”. No what she does or how she acts, I will always love her.
Now, one could actually argue that it isn’t really “unconditional love” in the sense that I had preconditions as to the type of person I could love; and since she fit into those preconditions, I love her; therefore it isn’t unconditional because in order for it to exist in the first place, certain conditions had to be met.
But now I’m giving myself a headache.
JMCJ
“Y’know, I would invite y’all to go feltch a dead goat, but that would be abuse of a perfectly good dead goat and an insult to all those who engage in that practice for fun.” -weirddave, set to maximum flame
I’m fond of the ‘Road Less Traveled’ approach to love. That is to split it into the feeling and the action. Cathexis is defined as the feeling one has (he loves playing with his model trains). Love is separated from this and defined as the commitment one has to another (I will continue to pick up this screaming poo-covered child, clean it up, and nurture it).
Unconditional love - What is it?
With the definition above both can be in a state of Unconditionality (is that a word?). But as stated previously, all things are subject to change.
My answer is - YES Unconditional Love is possible, but mutable.
Have you really thought about this? What if you came home one day and she was eating your dog–raw? What if you have children one day, and she murders them? What if she slept with your dad? Now, you can say that she wouldn’t ever do any such thing, and you are almost certainly right, but the fact is people sometimes surprise us, and most truely evil people out there were loved by someone sometime. If unconditional love exisits, it can’t be a virture. It would be more of a disorder–anyone who kept loving a serial killer, or someone who molested children, or someone who tortured puppies would not be showing strengh of feeling, but rather something distictly disturbing. I tend to think that they would have to be in denial.
You assume that, had my girlfriend done any of those things, my love for her would manifest itself by saying, “Oh, that’s all right, I understand,” or something like that.
Just because I love her doesn’t mean I’d excuse all of her behavior; I’d try to get her help and make sure she got the treatment that she deserved. If she started abusing me, I’d leave for my own safety. If she started absuing our hypothetical future children, I’d get them away from her.
But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still love her; I’d hope that she was able to get back to normal, and help her in any way it wasn’t self-destructive to do so.
Unconditional love doesn’t mean unconditional acceptance or unconditional forgiveness. I will always love Rebecca (my SO) even if I don’t want her anywhere near my life.
Does that make any sense at all?
JMCJ
“Y’know, I would invite y’all to go feltch a dead goat, but that would be abuse of a perfectly good dead goat and an insult to all those who engage in that practice for fun.” -weirddave, set to maximum flame