I think I will make this a poll with private results. Just a minute.
I have four parents. All of them love me unconditionally.
I have chosen conditionally, which makes me sad. I know this because last week there was a story about a mother turning her son in for murder, which to my surprise had a web poll amongst parents in which about 80% would do the same.
I was surprised by this thinking that parents would mostly NOT do the same, and I thought there was no way my mother would turn me in if I murdered someone (assuming her life wasn’t in danger nor any other family members) - so I asked and then she said she wasn’t sure. This actually really has confused me and I’m still not right about it. There is no way at all I would ever turn any family member of mine in for murder or even genocide so long as they were not a danger to my family.
Actually this is really distressing the more I think about it. I hope that it was just due to her lack of thinking. I will ask for clarification.
Turning you in for murder does not mean she would stop loving you.
My dad’s been dead for 6+ years. My mum just visited me last weekend.
My parents were fantastic. I know they love me unconditionally.
They provided lots of freedom for me, and let me make some of my own decisions from a very early age. When I was 18 they found some hash in my cigarette pack; we had a chat about it and they let me keep it. My parents weren’t perfect: who is? But they were modern in their outlooks and taught me a lot about life. When I was maybe 16 my dad had a chat with me about homosexuality This was in the late 70s. My dad told me he had no problems or issues with what people did behind their doors and that no one would choose this lifestyle, it’s just the way they were, and we should be accepting of it. This was in the 1970s! Thanks dad. You were ahead of your time and I miss you greatly.
I saw a lot of options but none were right.
my parents loved me the best they could which was not unconditionally. I am not sad and currently too sleepy to want cake.
post on, peeps.
My father was an alcoholic. He loved me but not as much as the booze. Mum was too busy chasing her own rainbows.
In any meaningful sense it would. The nature of love is that I should be valued far, far more than some random society member. Given what would happen to me if I were turned in for murder, I don’t see how it could be in my best interests except in peculiar mental illness type circumstances.
So if we’re not to devalue the word by talking about loving every person just the same, then there is no love in that turning in act.
Both of my parents love me very much, although I cannot say the love is “unconditional”. I’m sure if I do something they consider horrible enough, their love for me will diminish. But I have no desire to do terrible things, so that is a moot point. The feeling is mutual.
I did not imply in any way that I was devaluing the word to mean I love everyone just the same. If anything, I am a very hierarchal person and can pretty much rank the people in my life as to how much I love them. I also refuse to tell someone I love them unless I honestly feel it, and one of my greatest pet peeves are people that use it casually. That said, love does not mean I am going to overlook someone’s flaws and if someone I love commits a heinous crime, they should not expect me to hide or protect them. I would send them on their way, or even turn them in, and continue to love them for what they are, faults and all.
I would expect them to do the same to me.
Ditto, so I chose “a lot, but not conditionally.” I actually once asked both of them if they would turn me in or testify against me if they knew I committed a terrible crime, and they both admitted they would. That’s fine with me.
My mom loves me a lot, but not unconditionally. My father hardly knows me, so I guess I’d say he probably loves me a little.
I’m really happy for the wide margin of people who voted they’d been unconditionally loved.
I can’t claim as much myself, but at least I’ve been able to put things into perspective as time has gone by, and my unfulfilled desire to gain my parent’s approval evolved into wanting to understand them. As whole personalities, not as failed parental units.
Recently my mom told of the Thanksgiving when she was on duty as a pediatrics nurse and a three year old boy was brought in, a torture victim who soon died. His stepfather had forced water into his stomach with a hose and then punched or stomped on his abdomen. I have to reconcile myself that because people commit these acts, the human race needs people to deal with the mess. Perhaps those people can’t effectively cope with such things and still be the kind of people who can love unconditionally.
I’ve never done anything horrible in my life, so I honestly don’t know if both of them would love me unconditionally. Thankfully that I never had to test that out, but I know that they love me.
Interesting. I have come to conclusion through experience that people only have two true parents and those are the ones that raised you from an early age and hopefully also share half of your DNA. I have had step-parents come and go and made amends with biological father only a few years ago after a nearly two decades of sporadic contact. I have a strict rule now that only biological family truly counts and that is especially true with parents.
:eek:
Dude, that is complete bullshit. There’s endless hordes of biological parents who treat their children like shit, and almost as many adoptive parents who love their kids so much it hurts them (the parents, not the kids).
Lol, what is your definition of love then?
One in which you have a self-satisfied feeling of affection towards someone that you can ignore to slavishly do what society expects of you hardly sounds like the kind of love I respect to me.
By the way, my mother can kill my dad and I won’t turn her in, but my dad could kill my mother and depending on the circumstances I could maybe turn him in. This is why I know my love to my mother is different to my love to my father and why I am far more upset about my mother’s reaction than my dad’s
Unconditionally almost feels like an understatement when it comes to my parents. I’m pretty sure each would give their lives for me and my sisters without hesitation.
I don’t take that for granted.
Or put yet another way: me, a non catholic who isn’t even anything like a catholic can go in tomorrow to a confession booth and tell a priest about murdering someone
how the fuck can a catholic priest respect my confidentiality more than my parents, in presumably a moment of extreme need at that?