I was watching an episode of a show on Discovery called, Killer Ants.
There are ants in Tazmania whose venom all humans are allergic to. It will send you into cardiac arrest and kill you if you don’t make it to the hospital.
In this show’s opinion, the number one deadliest ant is found in Africa. They travel millions at a time and while they have no venom to speak of, they are very touch and they pincers hurt like hell. And they attack ANYTHING that’s not one of them. The rule of thumb is, no matter what you are, no matter how big or small, if you can’t get away from them, you’re dead. They’ve been known to kill adult humans.
Just thought I’d share.
And for the record, those little temples suck ass. Get a can of Raid and give them a little blast of instant death.
My little temples are working just fine, plus they supposedly entice the ants to carry back little gifts of death to the queen. I’ll see if the ants stay gone. I didn’t use Raid spray around my desk because I didn’t want to breathe poisonous fumes all day.
Instead of actually spraying Raid around your desk, perhaps you can leave the ants subtle hints. Distribute some very tiny copies of invoices for “Ant Killing Stuff” and put it along their paths of Formic acid. They’re bound to find the tiny invoices and realize that you’re gearing up for war.
Failing that, put up tiny signs at ant-eye level that say, “No sticky sugar residue today. Sorry for the inconvenience. Try cubicle 4.”
Flame throwers. Man, that’s the answer - fuck 'em right up with flame throwers.
Apparently, in central Africa, the Masai People have to put up with “Siofa Ants”, or “Driver Ants” as they’re more commonly known. These bastards live in colonies of up to 20 million in numbers. And their soldier ants can literally bite into flesh and leave a puncture mark a tenth of an inch wide. They’re the only ants in the world who will consciously choose to predate on human beings for food. They can eat, for example, and entire horse (down to the bones) in just one night.
But the Masai know that they play a role. The Siofa Ants are the trash cleaners of farming - and the Masai know that while the Siofa will eat anything in their path - so long as they stay OUT of their path, they play a useful role.
So the Masai have learnt how to deal with Siofa attacks. They line the floors of their huts with large open areas between bunks, and when the ants come, the Masai hit 'em with FIRE! Yeah, Baby! FIRE! It seems that fire is the one thing in the world which fucks those 20 million bastards right up. THey can lose up to a million in one battle, and the colony gets the hint at that point… OOPS! We fucked with the Masai again…
So dude… find your Ninja Ant headquarters… and get a dozen bottles of WD40 spray cans… and jury rig a long pole with both the WD40, a lighter, and a video camera attached to the end of it… and fucking burn 'em. Shoot those flames right down their nest… show no mercy!
While the fire idea has a certain visceral, Beavis type appeal, I don’t expect that flamethrowers are compatible with continued employment. But if I was in fact dealing with Siofa ants I’d probably go apeshit on 'em.
There was a lull in ant troop movements for a couple of days, but today there seemed to be a new regiment on the field. I wonder if another colony has moved in on the other’s territory. At any rate, these ants have found my little temples of doom as well. They have a window on top so I can see them worshipping inside.
