Anti-Oscars thread. What was the worst of 2008?

I can’t think of a clever word for the awards (The ass-scars, maybe?) but let’s take this award season and look and back to reflect on the crappiest of the crappiest of 2008.

My nominations:

Worst Actor

Mike Myers for The Love Guru.

Myers is capable of being funny and should have recognized utter shit when he saw it. There was nothing funny about this character from start to finish. Not one laugh was generated, not one memorable line. The only scene in the movie that approached getting a laugh was a cameo by Stephen Colbert that didn’t even involve Myers’ character. Myers gave the most excruciating performance by an actor all year. It consisted entirely of (what Myer’s mistakenly imagined was) a “funny” Indian accent.

Worst Actress

Paris Hilton for The Hottie and the Nottie. I didn’t actually see this (almost nobody did), but I didn’t have to see it. I am confident that no performance by an actress was worse.

Worst Director

M. Night Shyamalan for The Happening

I was tempted to say Uwe Boll, just on general principles, but that’s too easy. Boll, at least, lacks Shyamalan’s pomposity. The Crappening was just as inane and MST3000-worthy as anything Boll has ever done, but Shyamalan actually appears to have thought he’d produced some kind of Hitchcockian masterpiece. In one scene, Shama-lama-Ding Dong achieved the near impossible in this movie. He actually managed to shoot a more ludicrous scene than the running-from-the-cold scene in The Day After Tomorrow, with a scene of people running from fucking WIND. Not running OUT of the wind, but actually being CHASED by wind (illustrated by blowing grass pursuing running feet). After seeing this movie, you will look at plants and trees exactly the same way again.
Worst Movie

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

No subtitle has ever been more ironically apt. This was an easy choice for me. Ben Stein’s full-frontal assault on rational thought is not only a miserable failure as an entertainment, but is actively, maliciously toxic and evil. It’s no exaggeration to say that watching Expelled could be harmful to children. Goes beyond tenditiousness and bias into a level of dishonesty and delusion rivaled only by holocaust deniers. Makes Michael Moore look inscrutably objective by comparison. Speaking of the holocaust – it blames the holocaust on Charles Darwin. Need I say more?
My opinions are, of course, not final. I would like to see further nominations and welcome disagreements. I’m sure there’s a lot of overlooked suckage out there. What deserves recognition.

Good OP.

For worst actress I nominate Karen Allen in Indiana Jones IV. Who the hell giggles while driving a car off a cliff?

The word is “Razzies”. However, you’ve got a nice list there – all your choices but one were nominated.

I’m not really fit to comment – the only two movies I’ve seen were Wall-E and Bolt. Can you tell we have a three-year-old?