Off topic, but I can’t stop thinking of this quote from community…
Abed: Starburns left me his ashes, he requested they be burned. I don’t think he knows how ashes work.
This is almost exactly what happens in the movie The Shipping News. The Judi Dench character steals the ashes out of an urn and dumps them this way. (Found a relevant YT clip but it stops before the ash dumping part so not bothering to post the link.)
Take them as they are and mix them into a bucket of sawdust. Use that gritty sawdust to soak up vomit or animal pee every so often like school janitors do.
Mix them with some salt to sprinkle on ice during the winter. You’d get to walk all over them while they are forced to help you (with traction). Then sweep them away in the spring or just let the rain wash them away and feel refreshed.
Use them as grit in your home sand blaster, or use them to help polish fancy rocks in a rock tumbler. Or you could make a soapy paste with them (similar to that orange hand wash mechanics use) and use it to scrub shit stains out of your toilet bowl with.
Mix them with compost and fertilize a lawn with them… preferably in a dog park.
If you can grind them to a sand-like consistency, use them as sand in an hour glass. Write a derogatory phrase in the base like “countdown to X going to Hell” or “people left who like X”.
Or, grind them down very fine into a flour-like consistency. Then…
Mix them into some white paint and paint the inside of an outhouse with them. Or use that paint to write nasty graffiti about the person.
Use the powder as worm food or mix it into a dough or some kind of rotten-food snack you can feed scavengers with (gulls/crows/other nasty animals).
Mix the powder into real flour and bake a cake or cupcakes to give to the person’s family or friends who actually liked them.
The Dude think that might be a bad idea.
Scroll down to 5.2 for a likely example of this.
Unclaimed ashes are usually “taken care of” in a mass grave, the frequency of which varies by how often the storage facility has to clear some space.
I watched The Act, when it came out, then a while later I watched Mommy Dead and Dearest (the documentary that The Act was based on). I remember Dee Dee’s dad saying, when he found out she was dead, that he assumed she finally tried to swindle the wrong person and they killed her. Looking back, I guess that’s what happened. I also remember him saying what he did with the cremains.
I get frustrated even thinking about her [Dee Dee]. The fact that Gypsy Rose has said she’s happy with her decision [to kill her mom] and that 10 years in prison is worth it to never have to deal with her mother again says a lot.
It seems if you’re going to put time and energy into it, might as well make good use of them. You could always use them to fertilize a plant that they’d dislike. Maybe a fruit or vegetable they wouldn’t eat?
I have really bad stains in my toilet from bad water and …
Well, anyway. Constitute the remains into a pumice-like stone and use it to scrub (well, have someone else scrub, c’mon, Right?) the stains.
Or just let the dog eat them. They will, Trust me.
The worse thing is for someone to be forgotten.
I like the idea of simply putting the ashes in the trash, unmarked.
The sooner the better, because that person is still living rent-free in someone’s head.
I remember that! I had forgotten all about that story.
Just tossing the unmarked urn or container in the trash runs the risk of some well-meaning dumpster diver or collector finding it and rushing to the news or social media to find those poor people who miss their loved one’s remains so much. Definitely make sure the ashes are dumped into a bag with regular trash, then toss the container separately.
“You don’t forgive people for their sake. You do it for your sake.” If forgiveness is out of the question, I’d Marie Condo the cremains: “you were terrible in life. Now that’s done. Good bye!” and then garbage, bury, whatever, so it’s one and done and you can be free
Mix the ashes in a solution of vinegar and stool softener, then give your constipated pet warthog a cleansing enema.
This isnt a case of disrespecting bones out of hatred as it was abusing bones of a fan for a bit. The young lady was a big fan of the show and had recently died of a heroin overdose. Her family and this guy Chauncey took her to a cutrate crematorium where her corpse was burnt but large chunks of bone still remained.
Mr Hayden posessed half of the remains and brought them up to the studio. Hijinks ensued as they had fun with the remains. The family sued and it was settled out of court.
A better idea is to eat the ashes so you can shit them out as actual shit. And then keep doing that over and over until shit runs out .
In a Buddhist ceremony I participated in, the ashes of the deceased were offered to the mourners to eat. Just a tiny portion, but there it was. The deceased was beloved, not hated.