Let’s say you have the cremains of someone you hate, and you wish to do something terrible with them.
The best(worst) thing I can come up with is to put a pinch of the ashes in the toilet each time before you take a dump. It’s kinda like shitting on them over and over until ashes run out.
Any better ideas?
Spread them on the busiest crosswalk, train track, and intersection.
They will not get a moments rest from being walked on, driven over and ground into train tracks!
Display them for all to see…in a large ashtray.
Sweeping compound in adult video arcade
Drill small hole in the urn and use it as a urinal. It’s like the shitting idea but without having to touch them.
Speaking or acting ill of the dead bodes well for nobody.
As one stage the ex was adamant to the point of absolute intransigence that her mother’s ashes were to be displayed on a mantelpiece above the fireplace in the houses main room. I wasn’t fazed at the prospect but was opposed on the grounds we had 3 kids under age 9 and it was a “high traffic area”. To no avail.
So one day soon after they were displayed I was lucky enough to find a near identical ceramic urn, swapped it for the “real” one which I put low down in a box in the back corner of ex’s wardrobe.
About a week or so later the 5yo was being creative and energetic and accidentally knocked the urn off and it smashed on the hearth.
Ex was mortified to the point of catatonic at the prospect of sweeping MILs ashes up with a dust pan and brush and either missing some material or getting extra material. Got a call from 9yo saying I needed to come home right now. Got home ASAP. Revealed the secure hiding place. Not 100% sure I was believed. Copped a serve about being disrespectful of her mother. Soon after the ashes were interred beside FIL where they should have gone in the first place. As I said, that was the ex.
Very clever!
Have you ever seen the Married…with Children episode, Hot Off the Grill?
You could dump them in an outhouse bathroom.
I try to see myself as being in an unprecedented situation. That’s almost certainly self delusion but it’s an effective coping mechanism. 
My brother used to talk about mixing our mother’s ashes into the cat’s litter box. He probably thinks he was being funny.
Not being one into the whole afterlife thing, I’d just throw them out like they meant about as much to me as anything else I toss in the garbage.
If I hated someone that much, it seems like putting too much thought into how to disrespect them would just add more stress to my life (and/or give that person that much more time to make my life miserable).
Take them out back and fill the urn with piss if you want to, but if it were me, I wouldn’t be doing anything that’s going to drag on for days/weeks/years. Hence just throwing them in the garbage and moving on with my life.
I’d go similar to this. Mix the ashes into a colored glaze for porcelaine. Use the glaze to write the name of the person along with R.I.P near the bottom of a series of urinals. Have the urinals installed … somewhere. Preferably every bar where people hated the person. Anyone using it will aim at the name, and they’ll have a good guess what alternative meaning R.I.P stands for in this setting.
I know it’s very last century (and that no one here smokes tobacco anymore) but what about
…a Brass Spittoon?
< Ptooie…! >
< Ding! >
Do you already have them? If not, just tell the funeral home to pitch them as you really don’t want 'em when they call you. Having someone else toss them seems disrespectful to me, as you’re letting others know that ____ didn’t mean anything to you.
Or let the cremains go to someone who doesn’t hate the deceased? It may not be very sporting but I don’t see the point of trying to do something deliberately disrespectful. (You might instead take comfort in the fact that they’re dead but you’re not.)
Use the ashes to spell out a brief message someplace publicly visible – a message that would have horrified the deceased.
That’s probably not a good idea. Cremains are going to be high in calcium, mostly in the form of calcium hydroxide. It’s going to have a high pH and be bad for your pets to walk on.
There’s a not-dissimilar fictional story in a young-adult book, The Devil’s Storybook, which I remember seeing on the U.S. educational show *Cover to Cover" in the 1970s.
In the story, an evil man’s ashes are in an urn on the fireplace mantel, and the urn gets accidentally knocked over, and his ashes mixed in with the ashes in the fireplace. The maid sweeps up the ashes, and puts them back in the urn, but in amongst the ashes in the fireplace were ashes from some pork bones.
Down in Hell, the deceased man suddenly discovers that he has a pig who insists on pressing up against him (as their ashes are mingled, back up on Earth).
Don’t worry, I didn’t.
At a reunion event, the five surviving members of Monty Python brought an urn which they claimed held Graham Chapman’s ashes. As they were being interviewed, one of them spilled the container and they sucked up the ashes with a Dustbuster.
I don’t know if they were actually Chapman’s remains, but from what I’ve heard of him, he’d have been quite delighted.