I’m sure this thread will drop like a rock but I’ll give it a go anyway.
I’m sorry folks but a 14 -15yo boy getting boinked by his hot 20something year old teacher, is just awesome.
(I had a couple of more but they slip my mind right now.)
I’m sure there’s more I’ll think of later, but THIS. I had a mad crush on my Spanish teacher in 10th grade (she was 23 and fresh out of college). She could have kept me after school any time.
There are plenty of girls who have mad crushes on teachers and would happily sleep with them too, you know. How the student feels about the prospect really has nothing to do with whether they’re mature enough to deal with the consequences, and I have a hard time believing that teenaged boys are any readier than girls in this respect.
Before we go any further with this, can you really call it a double standard if you think it’s fair/reasonable? If you can back up your judgment, don’t you have to be presenting two separate, even if only slightly different, standards?
Word. How many times on the Dope have people said, “Don’t stick your dick in the crazy,” as a guideline for men wanting to avoid sexual relationship problems especially unwanted children and being sued for child support. Well, very young adolescent males have far less crazy radar (not that it’s much more developed when their 17-18, but a few years is something. The typical American teenager raised to the nuclear family standard is not prepared to handle parenthood.
I think things have swung so far in the other direction (people screaming that boys are ALWAYS harmed by a student-teacher relationship) that no one wants to acknowledge that it is better to consider these stories on a case-by-case basis.
I think it’s ok for black people to say “nigger,” but not for white people.
To same degree, I think it OK to profile, especially for airport security. 90 year old women are not blowing up aircraft, and neither do 5 year old children. We don’t need to be subjecting them to pat downs and body scans in the interest of “fairness”.
I stand behind men enforcing a double standard of the acceptability of sexual promiscuity. Only a complete loser isn’t more concerned with the sexual history / health of the person they’re fucking than the guys they hang out with.
This isn’t part of the double standard, but I think about 90% of all the times somebody was chastising a woman for being slutty, it’s been another woman anyway. So I don`t accept that men play much of a role in continuing that double standard in the first place. But every time I’ve known a guy who would be interested in a woman, but had reservations because of promiscuity, the guy has always been worried about possibly getting a disease. Good for him, I say.
But then shouldn’t we do that for girls as well?
Your 14-year-old son and his gay teacher?
Despite normally being opposed to anything resembling segregation, I have no problems with separate male/female bathrooms. Partly because nearly everyone involved wants it that way, partly because the male/female divide is biologically real in a way most social divides aren’t, and partly because it appears to be the exception to the rule that “separate but equal is neither”.
Well, how they feel about it does matter. For one thing, that’s what really makes this a morally complicated issue at all; if it was rape* or a child too young to have their own sex drive we could just chuck the perpetrator in prison with no moral qualms. For another, it means that you are traumatizing the younger person when you haul away someone they regard as their boy/girlfriend; there are consequences for stopping the relationship just as there are potential ones for letting it go on… And third, it makes it much harder for people to resist temptation when the object of that temptation is clearly willing; future or potential consequences just aren’t as real in people’s minds as immediate ones are.
Personally I regard teen-adult relationships as a poor idea likely to end in disaster, and I certainly think they should be discouraged. But I don’t think they are automatically evil in themselves like rape or child molestation are.
- I despise the term “statutory rape”; it cheapens genuine crimes of rape, and is fundamentally dishonest.
Of course we should and I never said we shouldn’t.
There’s a way of understanding this so that it isn’t even a double standard. That is, it’s ok for a group of people to call themselves whatever they want and at the same time arbitrate what others can call them in a more restrictive manner.
So why shouldn’t women be as concerned if not moreso about the sexual history/health of the person they’re fucking?
I mean, I could follow you if you were saying that both men and women should care about their partner’s numbers. But why should a man who has slept with 200 women be justified in turning up his nose a woman because has slept with 20 guys? A lot of times, that’s how the double standard presents itself.
Yes, because many sad, stupid women still believe that they lose value if they give their “purity” away. They enforce the double standard because it makes them feel good about themselves. They could be ugly, dull, talentless, and completely unaccomplished in life…but goshdarnit, at least they kept their hymens intact. That automatically makes them better than the sluts, in their minds.
Okay, “triple standards we stand behind.”
They absolutely should.
Because whether or not you feel it’s healthy to sleep with someone is ultimately about your own self interest. That’s not to say you don’t owe it to your sexual partners to have yourself tested regularly and stuff, you do. But what difference does it make if you’ve slept 20 200 or 2000 women? If you know you’re healthy and you’re worried about the 20 sketchy guys you think your potential partner has been with, you’re not a hypocrite.
That’s my point. It shoudln’t be about morality, it’s about your health.
I think women’s (on average) attitude about sexual promiscuity is much worse than men’s, and is in much more need of being improved. It just isn’t a double standard I stand behind, which is the point of this thread. It’s a double standard I don’t support.
I am a middle aged adult so I have mature judgement.
And I STILL would have loved banging a hot, adult woman when I was fourteen, or for that matter twelve.
Actually at that age I’d have made do with a not so hot adult woman.
But the double standard you’re talking about is not about health. Ultimately, it’s about morality (and insecurity). Otherwise, as long as a woman could show proof of being disease-free, her numbers would not be a liability. But that isn’t the case; she’ll still be looked at as dirty while a man with ten times her number will not.
A lot of guys may say they care about getting diseases from a “slut”, but when you probe deeper, you see that most times health has little to do with it.
This is very true . . . until they start equipping 90-year-old women and 5-year-old children with bombs. And of course we have no idea when that will happen.
And for those of you who think there’s nothing wrong with a female teacher having sex with her male student: When I was 13, I (male) had a huge crush on my (male) math teacher. Years later I found out that he was in fact gay. How would you feel if something had actually happened between us?