Never had a problem with mortars myself.
My family buys $100 or so worth of fireworks every 4th, so I suppose I’m as qualified as most people (save professional pyrotechnics personnel, firefighters, etc.) to answer.
Basically, what everyone else already said.
For the mortars: Find a reasonably flat area on the ground, bare dirt or cement is what I’ve had the best experience with. I suppose sand would work pretty well too, as long as it’s stable. Make sure the area is flat, or preferably, slightly graded down towards the area you’re shooting into (the ocean?). That way, the shells will arc up and out, and if they decide not to explode until they’re 5 feet off the ground, they would be reasonably far away from you. If the mortar tube seems like it would fall over, maybe add some weight to the bottom (where there should be a wooden or plastic base, add the weight to the base, not inside the tube or anything) or prop it up, just take care to make sure if it DOES fall, it falls AWAY from you (and any houses, etc.).
For the cake: I’ve had less experience with these than anything else, so I’ll just give the standard: flat, stable surface, far away from you.
The others, I’m not sure what they are. If they’re mortars, follow above.
If they look like supersized bottle rockets: You can either just poke the stick a few inches into the ground, angling the rocket so it goes in the general direction of away from you, or you can use a small piece of PVC pipe. Half- or 1-inch diameter is usually best. Get yourself a two foot length of that, and jam it down into the ground so it’s angled the direction you want your rocket to go. If the wick is on the side of the rocket, drop the stick in and the rocket in as far as it will go. Leave the wick on the outside. If the wick is on the bottom, I’ve had limited success with sliding the stick end in, lighting the wick, dropping the whole thing down the tube (like a mortar), and running.
General safety tips:[ul]
[li]Always keep a bucket of water on hand.[/li][li]Light the fireworks WELL away from spectators. They don’t know what you’re lighting or when you’re lighting it or where it’s going to go or what it’s going to do.[/li][li]In the same vein, you don’t know when it’s going to go off or where it’s going to go or what it’s going to do. Even if you’ve read the manufacturer’s description a million times. So light the fuse, get away quickly, and then make sure you pay attention to what it does, so you can take evasive action if necessary.[/li][li]Make sure you leave the fireworks-waiting-to-be-fired well away from where you’re actually doing the lighting. You could leave them back near the spectators for instance. Never light anything when there are other unexploded fireworks within a five or ten foot (at least) radius.[/li][li]Only light one at a time. There’s enough of a chance one will malfunction.[/li][li]If you light one and wait five minutes and nothing happens, DO NOT try to light it again. Yes, even if you can still see a bit of fuse left. Approach it very carefully, douse it with water. Dispose (not by burning).[/li][/ul]
That’s about it, I guess. Above all, use common sense. These things can maim you for life or kill you if you’re not careful. Treat them accordingly.
[sub]Notice: I am not a professional fireworks operator (though I think that’d be one of the coolest jobs ever), nor am I a medical professional, fireman, policeman, or rocket scientist. The information contained in this post is based on personal experience only. Past performance does not guarantee future results. Your mileage may vary. Limit one (1) per customer.[/sub]
