Any long-term effects after childbirth?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Aside from a lasting emotional wrench since I had to give my daughter up (I was nineteen & not nearly ready), I’ve noticed very few lasting effects. I had stretch marks (curiously, only on my breasts) for a while, after I lost the weight but before I went on the Pill. (Since I’ve been on the Pill, my boobs have increased to their pregnant size, so you can’t really see the stretch marks anymore.) My hair texture changed…it used to be stick-straight, now it’s kind of wavy. My hips might be a little wider, who knows? I do think it’s easier when you’re young. My mom had my little bro when she was 40, & she really went through 9 months of Hell.

I totally advocate natural childbirth. I did it & it was just great, plus for the rest of my life I have bragging rights. “You think that hurts? I gave birth with no anesthesia!!” No one can ever again call you a wuss, no matter what. Then again, I had a 3 1/2 hour labor (the 1st hour was completely pain-free, too…I walked to the hospital) & a 6 1/2 pound baby. If I’d been in labor for hours, or had a giant baby, I might have taken something. I was just WAAAAAAAAAY more freaked out by the idea of the doctor sticking a BIG GIANT NEEDLE INTO MY SPINE than I was in pain. I’d definitely go natural again if I ever decide to have kids of my own.

22

Thank you for the generous offer, but I’m afraid I don’t know too much about the care and feeding of the average 16 yr old. :slight_smile:

23

Hmm, after having just received another a college tuition bill, I can vouch that the long-term financial effects can be quite substantial :slight_smile:

(Actually, financial costs are definitely something to be aware of. I’ve read articles that claim that raising a child and putting it through college will cost you roughly a quarter of a million dollars. My wife and I are very happy that we’ve raised two fine daughters, but we can certainly vouch for the costs involved.)

24

I had two c-sections within 15 months of each other so I doubt I’ll ever feel that area of my tummy again. Though it does give me the added threat when I tell my kids look what you did to my body!! OK they are only 3 and 2 and don’t really care but someday it just might gross them out or make them feel guilty. As for my breasts, with my son I expressed breast milk because he refused to take the nipple. It seemed that they stretched out alot more than with my daughter who took to the breast until the day she got her second tooth and bit right through my nipple. My breasts are saggy and I sometimes catch my nipples looking at the floor.
Emotionally, I was ok with my son until one day I just started bawling thinking about him growing up and someone hurting him, I cried for 2 days straight. With my daughter I’ve become more emotional. If someone is mean to me, I cry at the drop of a hat. I am still weepy and sensitive. Seems I just can’t let go of things sometimes too, things bother me all night and haunt my dreams until I deal with them. Before baby girl was born I rarely paid much attention to what anyone said or thought.
The memory loss is what bothers me the most. During my pregnancy with my son I would forget things for a little while but then it would come back within a few days. It even bothered me because I knew I knew it but I couldn’t figure it out. With my daughter, I have forgotten what I didn’t know. My Mom and sister ask me about things all the time saying Ohhh you’ll know this and I have no idea at all what they are talking about. It scares me. The only good thing is that most books are a surprise again! I forget little details, not the whole story but tiny parts. I used to be a trivia whiz kid but now I am more likely to avoid trivia.
Other than that I also found that I have two dirty little kids who follow me around, screaming and expecting me to do everything for them. It’s odd because no one ever shows up to pick them up. They call me Mom and when they misbehave in public people look at me like it’s my fault! Can you believe the nerve?

25

Like alot of you I went natural with the first two. I highly recommend it. I bounced back a lot quicker than the mothers that used drugs.
Long term effects I have noticed, my husband’s dependency increase with the childrens’ independence.
My hair, which was always very thick and straight as a stick, developed an attractive wave in it after the third kid. The hips spread, of course, and the boobs are lower. I guess all of this could have been fixed with exercise.

The stress incontinence just recently surfaced, could be cause I’m older, or could be from three deliveries.

I don’t get sick as much, again, could be the age, but then Mr. L. is older than I am and gets sick all the time.

The memory thing…Could never, ever, leave the house with everything I needed. Just as I would get the kids all buckled in I would remember the car keys, or purse, or diaper bag. Very frustrating that was.

Tailbone is out of whack.

Not as much as a wuss as I used to be.

26

may I recommend B6 for the memory loss? I started taking high-dose B6 to suppress prolactin (for the purposes of getting pregnant - prolactin suppresses progesterone) and found that my brain came back (as did my libido). 100 units a day, 50 in the AM, 50 in the PM (max is 200 units a day, so you are still well below max). Menopause also causes the brain fuzz, supposedly from hormones going out of whack, so there may be a hormone imbalance in there that is causing the mommy-brain thing (assuming that lack of sleep or depression isn’t the cause). Only took the B6 for a few weeks, but it seems to have reset something. I still forget stuff, but not like before, and I have a lot more to remember anyway.

27

Thank you hedra, I’ll try that. Now anyone got any cure’s for my hair falling out of my head? Since I had my daughter it comes out in clumps, it grows back fast but it’s so thin. My hair has always been fine but now it’s so thin it looks pitiful. On the plus side, my periods are less painful and my skin is clear as can be!

28

Hedra, thanks for the B6 memory trip. Now, If only I could remember it. Sounds like we’d be playing " B6 ? You sank my battle ship."

**Welcome to Motherhood **
I have never been one of those over protective mothers who worry about every sniffle, cough or head wound. Between two children ( nearly 3 and almost 1) I can count on one hand how many trips to the doctors office for non-well baby visits.(Knock on wood.) I would let complete strangers hold my children. I allow, nay, I encourage my children to eat food that has fallen on the floors ( eliminating one chore for mama :slight_smile: ) I have my children go away for weekends with grandma. Some times more. At this stage with my not yet three year old, I would gladly sell him on Ebay with free shipping if I thought someone one would be so naive. (He has yet to learn that I am the only one allowed in the house to have temper tantrums.)

I am not a nervous nelly.

But fer cryin’ outloud, wash yer frickin’ hands before you even think about touching my darling little spawns of satan, you festering gob of germs.
For those of you who haven’t started a family, do something right now. **I mean it ** An amusing little exercise:

Write down the ten things you positively, never-ever, not on your life, will not do when you have children.

Here is what I remember of my list:

1)I will never ever carry one of those insulated lunch bags that has Peter Rabbit on them. (They are freebies from the hospital. This was a big one for me, for some reason.And yes, at one point, I used mine before tossing it.)

2)My children will never be seen in public with a kool aid stain on their shirts. (Feh.)

3)If my child has a tantrum in public I will depart the store immediately no matter where I am in shopping. (So far, I’ve only had to do this once.)

  1. I will not call my children retarded pet names in public.( I am saving this one for when they are teenagers and want to mortify them.)

5)I will not have my children sit in front of the TV all day watching brainless videos. ( Bah ha ha ha ha. Oh, how naive I was!)

6)I will not carry some ridiculous diaper bag with any type of baby motif on it. ( I carry a back pack. I openly mock people who carry cutesy overloaded baby bags, you sheep.)

  1. My children will never ever ever wear anything on their person that is in anyway connected with a TV show or children’s movie. ( I didn’t share this rule with the Grandma’s, who voided it within the first month my son was alive. This falls under the " Beggar’s can’t be choosers Law") (This was possibly my biggest Pre-Child law.)

  2. My children will not run around the house all day in diapers and t-shirts. ( Then you realize that it’s easier to have them run amok like that than have them goober another outfit that you have to wash.If I lived in Arizona, my kids would be nekkid 12 months of the year.)

  3. I will never leave the house wearing gray sweatpants. ( I don’t own any because every post pregnant woman I’ve ever seen wears these pants everywhere and it just bugs me.) I wear overalls, so there.

I can’t remember the rest, *where’s my B6? * my list was quite long, but I’m sure it was along the lines of, " I will not buy stupid toys for my children. I will purchase only toys that will encourage problem solving skills and assist in world peace…" yeah, I cracked on that one by 1 year.

29

I have two kids - a boy, almost 4, and a girl, one tomorrow!

My tailbone’s still messed up (broken during my daughter’s delivery). Stretch marks were worse the first time, but have faded quite a bit.

I bounced back a LOT faster with my daughter’s birth - no drugs. Also healed faster from the tear I got during her delivery than from the episiotomy with my son.

Breastfeeding is very worth it. Can’t beat the convenience of not having to fix a bottle at 2 a.m. :slight_smile: No breast changes to speak of here, though I’m still nursing. [brag] Both kids are healthy as can be. Though hubby had tons of ear infections as a child, neither kids has ever had one, neither has ever had antibiotics, and neither has ever been to the doctor for anything other than a well-child visit. They have had the odd cold or upset tummy, but nothing serious enough to warrant a trip to the doctor. [/brag]

My hair is pitifully thin, and I shed gobs of hair every time I wash it or brush it. I would shave it off just to stop the shedding if it wouldn’t piss off the hubby!

I wound up with hyperthyroidism after having my son, which went away when I got pregnant with my daughter, but it returned after she was born. My thyroid is basically in overdrive. It is not bad enough to treat, so they just keep an eye on the TSH levels via blood tests. The good part is I am below pre preg weight, but am jittery and nervous a lot, which isn’t so fun.

I am no longer grossed out by cleaning up messes, and even use cloth diapers without batting an eye!

–tygre

30

Shirley, loved the list. I agree wholeheartedly.

I labored for about 24 hours. Would have delivered about an hour sooner, but there was an emergency across the hall which required all the doctors & anethesiologists. I had an epidural for about the last half, and I loved it. No ill effects, no additional recovery time, and I could still push- I just wasn’t in agony any more. BTW, it didn’t hurt at all to set the epi- I am requesting the same anesthesiologist for my next one! And the needle was tiny tiny tiny, not the size used on horses.

I breastfed, and it really did help me lose wieght. I heard somewhere that it burns about 500 extra calories a day.

My boobs are somewhat flat, I really miss those “baby hooters!” A couple of stretchmarks is all, and E oil would cure that if I bothered.

ALERT- the following may be TMI for non-mothers!

I had to have an episiotomy, as I (was) very petite. Obviously I didn’t feel it then, and sitting on that ice pack actually felt great the next day! A funny story about that- I felt around my stitches shortly after I got back home and it felt like they had sewed me up too tight. Sure enough, when my stitches dissolved and we had sex that first time after the birth, WOW! Talk about “like a virgin!”

I asked my mom about it, and she said that the old joke was always “two stitches for mom and one for dad.” She said that when she noticed it after I was born and told her doctor how tight it seemed, he laughed and said “did you feel like you were sweet sixteen and never been kissed?”

Nothing like a male OB/GYN with a sense of humor ::rolleyes::

31

I wondered about this, too, before Cranky Jr was born. I was freaked to think it might change my personality that radically. I’m not real touchy-feely, no one ever said I seemed “born to be a mom,” I’m very independent. I fretted a lot about becoming a clingy, irrational, hypermaternal worrywart–I mean, that wouldn’t be ME. I wanted a baby, not a personality transplant.

Did it happen? Yes and no. I was still laidback and had a sense of humor about things, still crave my own independence, etc., love my time away from momhood BUT… my protective feelings were extraordinary once Cranky Jr was finally mine to take home, and it took over a year for them to get to more reasonable levels. I had an overactive imagination about tragedies. I hated our steps, always imagining what it would be like to fall down them with baby in arms. I worried about fires, and asked for an escape ladder for Christmas. News stories about children suddenly took on a new horrible immediacy. I couldn’t imagine how I would endure it when Cranky Jr broke his first bone, got picked last for a team, got dumped by his first girlfriend. I would CRY over those things just thinking about them.

I never minded strangers holding him, and was comfortable with family babysitting, but letting a teenager babysit? Never, no way, uh-uh, even though as I teen I babysat all the time. It also was difficult the first night we spent away from him, when Grandma took him to give us a little break. I didn’t enjoy it.

I was unprepared for this sort of thing. I really thought it couldn’t happen to me. But now that he’s a toddler, it’s a lot better. I’m still more sensitive than I used to be, but it’s not so extreme. I guess it’s different for everyone, but even Cranky people like me aren’t immune.

32

YES, there is definitely such a thing as gestational diabetes.

I had it with my first kid, and the next two times I got pregnant I immediately stopped eating sugar until I was in the clear. Gestational diabetes increases the chances that you can become diabetic, and if you get gestational diabetes twice it’s damned near a sure thing it won’t go away once the pregnancy is over.

With all three I had Nubane - happy drugs - but no epidural. The happy drugs wear off once the heavy-duty contractions set in, so I was pretty much drug-free. I am built for birth, baybay, so all three of them were easy. No horror stories.

After the third one, my libido took an extended vacation in Siberia. The hubman didn’t appreciate that too much. Fortunately, that’s over.

I’m going to be taking advice on the B6 too…my memory’s still pretty sketchy a lot of the time.

33

But how do you remember to take the B6? :confused:

34

I’m another forgetful mom. It seems to be worse this time, with baby #2. Baby is now six months old.
::Pauses to write “B-6” on back of hand:: :wink:
I often lose nouns before I’m done with a sentence, especially when I am asked to describe where something is located around the house. I have to resort to saying “It’s in the…thing…the you know…the THING.”
I have a small numb patch around my C-section incision scar, other than that, I’m pretty much back to normal, physically.
My postpartum depression hit late this time; it didn’t really get started until late November, and just now it is starting to ease up. I am making myself exercise, and trying to get out of the house with the kiddos as often as I can. It helps. This time, the depression got so bad that I probably should have talked to my doctor about it. Reading posts on the SDMB really helped get me through a bad time, but I strongly recommend that if you are deeply depressed after having a baby, you shouldn’t try to go it alone. It sucks.:frowning: “Aunt Flo” came back this month, and I think the worst of my hormonal havoc is over now.
I have lost a little sensitivity due to nursing both my kids, but my nipples were waaaayyy too sensitive before I had kids, and I consider this to be an improvement.

35

if you are still breastfeeding, taking the B6 will lower your milk supply, possibly significantly. It also may start you ovulating again if you haven’t been. Usually temporary loss of supply, but didn’t want you all running out and starting it without being warned!

(Mine went south for about three days, then bounced back, but I still kept the better attitude, better memory, and greater … um … interest.) :wink:

36

And you people put yourselves through this, why?

37

Because it ROCKS, adam! Before my baby was born, I wasn’t totally sure about the whole thing. I mean, I can be selfish and self-centered and I was worried I wouldn’t be a good mom. But that was all crap. I love being a mom, I love being pregnant, I even love giving birth (yes Nubane rules)! Sure, I want to go to the movies sometimes, or sleep in, or something like that. But that’s all small stuff, because on the other hand I have a beautiful, perfect, brilliant baby boy!

I remembered one other effect of motherhood, which Cranky kind of touched on. I find I can no longer watch scenes in certain movies or television shows that have to do with babies or children being hurt or in danger. It just makes me want to jump out of my skin. Some examples (SPOILER CONTENT)-

Like in Gladiator- the child gets run over by a team of horses, then is hanged. Not only that, but later the evil emperor speaks about what they did to him BEFORE he was dead. Eewww. Or anything that has to do with kidnapping, like that damn Michelle Pfeiffer movie. Even ER reruns can be dangerous, like an episode I was watching where a kid came in with a clothes hanger jammed into his palate, because he was playing with it & running. Jesus, I needed this? Especially when my kid does the same thing with his spoon?

So it’s strange what gets to you. That kind of stuff never bothered me AT ALL before.

Someone mentioned leaving the kids overnight. How has that worked for you guys? We are going to Vegas in February for a couple of days of gambling and debauchery, and leaving our son at my mother’s (first time away overnight). I hope I don’t miss him so much that I don’t have a good time. Of course, I am most interested in gambling, while hubby is making all sorts of plans for the debauchery.

38

I can buy that. I had two c-sections within 13 months of each other. The whole lower part of my tummy is numb, and I will probably have that for the rest of my life.

But I look at our kids, and it simply doesn’t matter.

My only other aftereffect was when we had our last child, I had a tubal. I am sure of the decision (I was 35 and we really couldn’t afford any more children), but sometimes I still wonder what would happen if I got pregnant again. I miss the feeling of having someone grow inside me: the kicks, the turns, all that. I was sick as a dog for nine months, but none of that matters. sigh

39

My wife has had two kids, and we are trying to have another. She had her first when she was 16, and put it up for adoption. She had the second at 23, and it required a C section.

Since it’s been 13 years since her last semi-natural (she used drugs) childbirth, is she more likely to experience problems associated with a first pregnancy with her next one?

40

  1. body odor. I never used to have it, now I do. And fast. I can get out of the shower, putter around in the towel for 10 minutes, and already have stinky pits!

  2. heartburn. It never went away. I go through a bottle of tums a week or more.

  3. Teeth. Or more accurately, what teeth? I didn’t have enough calcium in my diet when I was pregnant, and so my body leeched it out of my teeth. I went from having about 2 fillings from back in high school to having… um… 7 root canals, 2 extractions… tons of cavities… more than I can keep up with. I’ve maxed out my insurance every year (usually in the summer) and have to wait til January every year with major dental issues just hanging around… My teeth have their very own homepage, even. http://opalcat.com/teeth.html

  4. Incontinence. If I get sick with a severe cough, I need to wear Depends.

Ain’t it great? Actually, we’re in the process of trying to have another one (ok not literally in the process–that would make it too hard to type!)