Or, more specifically, really, really, really bad heartburn?
I’d write more, but I’m busy keeling over.
I was plagued by heartburn for a long-time and figured out how to limit the events to about 1-2 a year (instead of 1-2 a week). And I am talking about killer, I-think-I’m-about-to-die-from-a-heart-attack kind of heartburn, too.
The key for me was to cut out caffeine (especially carbonated soda) and be slightly more moderate on fatty foods. That was it. No more heartburn.
Now, if you are looking for an immediate fix for a current attack (which may be the case based on your post), then this is clearly of little help to you. But, maybe it will be of some value once you survive this episode. For, immediate relief I can only recommend something like Zantac. That doesn’t exactly fit your requirements, though.
Jammer
According to this site, "the most commonly cited herbal remedies for heartburn are chamomile, peppermint, and ginger. "
Hope you get to feeling better soon.
I like to use a combination tea of Chamomile, Wild Yam (root), Meadowsweet, Marshmallow (root) and Anise (seed)
Of course, you probably don’t have those sitting around your kitchen. What you might have is Fennel, Fenugreek, Cardamom, Cinnamon, Cloves, Basil, Oregano, Peppermint (or Spearmint or “Mint” from a spice rack) Any of those made into a tea may be helpful.
I’m personally not a fan of ginger for heartburn. Nausea, vomiting, carsickness, morning sickness, yes. But I think it’s too hot for heartburn. But hey, if it works, use it!
You might find relief from a swig of pickle juice, as well. This is especially helpful for people who find that calcium tablets (like Tums) or other alkaline antacids (like Rolaids) don’t work for them. Some of us get heartburn because we’re not producing enough stomach acid (I know, that sounds counterintuitive), and pickle juice, an acid, can help balance that out and get your stomach and esophagus on speaking terms again.
Of course, a spoonful of baking soda mixed with water and drunk is an old, old remedy. This works best for those whom Tums or Rolaids helps.
If you feel really overstuffed and heartburny after a rich meal, try something really bitter. Coffee without cream or sugar. Angastora bitters. Bitter apertifs. Dandelion leaves. You don’t need much - just a taste. The bitter taste stimulates the gall bladder and liver to squirt out bile, which helps digest fats.
Of course, if you’re feeling any numbness or tingling or pain in your arm, diziness, heart palpitations, etc. get thyself to the ER. “Heartburn” is a common symptom of a heart attack.
And if it doesn’t get better soon, go to the ER anyway. Could be your gall bladder givin’ out. Probably not, but better safe than sorry. And chamomile won’t help a blown gall bladder.
I’ve found peppermint makes it worse, because it relaxes the epiglottis and more acid gets in the esophagus. Try fennel tea- works for most stomach ills.
I’ll second this! I only ever had one bad gall bladder attack, but early on, I thought it was really serious heartburn! Of course when I started (TMI ahead): vomiting greenish yellow stuff, I knew something was seriously wrong, and ended up in the ER. Had my gall bladder out three days later. However, even though my attack progressed from the serious heartburn to much nastier stuff rapidly, I have a friend who had maybe a dozen of the heartburn-like episodes before being diagnosed with chronic gall bladder failure.
If it’s not your gallbladder, rethink what you consider “medical” intervention. Sure, stuff like Pepcid or “the little purple pill” are real medicine, but the active ingredient in most OTC chewable antacids is calcium. Hardly a drug.
Keep a box of Altoids[TM] handy. Crunch a few in your mouth, then swallow with a small sip of water. Relief follows quickly.
It could be that you have a bad reaction to something that you always eat and just don’t know it. I personally can not eat onions, garlic and most peppers at all. If I do I get either a really bad stomach ache, or gas, or the runs. Some times all of the above.
I found this out the hard way just over two years ago when I got ulcers in my esphogus. Let me tell you that there’s nothing worse then that, not being able to swallow even spit. I went on all those medications and none of them worked. I don’t even remember how I figured out what was causing it, but when I did I have pretty much gotten rid of all my heartburn.
I think that onions and the like are not the best thing for people. It’s just impossible to find anything that has not been made with onions, I make most everything I eat, and when I go out it’s almost impossible to find something I can eat. I can even tell when they have cooked something on the grill with onions before me.
I’d start with looking at what you eat and seeing if you can pick out a couple of things that give you heartburn and avoid them. Might be difficult to do though as many things have common ingrediants.
Thank you so much for your replies.
I should have been more clear in that I know I have it because I’m pregnant. It’s just really, really bad. I didn’t have anything suggested around the house except peppermint so I am eating a candy cane, which seems to be making me feel better. Tums aren’t working, and they are the only thing I’m allowed to take. 
Somewhere in the back of my head, I knew you were pregnant (from another thread), but forgot! If the candy cane helps, try Starlight mints (same candy, less general stickiness), or Celestial Seasonings tea in Grandma’s Tummy Mint.
[shakes a finger at Sat on Cookie] Bad, bad you for not mentioning pregnancy!
In that case, stay away from chamomile. A little won’t hurt you, but in large doses it could theoretically bring on a miscarriage. Theoretically being the key word - I’ve never talked to or read of anyone who has actually suffered a misscarriage from it. The rest of the stuff I wrote is definitely OK.
Seriously, peppermint essential oil is a pregnant mom’s best friend. One drop in half a gallon of water (yes, just one drop in half a gallon of water, you read that right) is wonderful for heartburn, morning sickness, headaches and fatigue. I keep it in my Nalgene bottle at all times. You can get peppermint essential oil at any health food store, most drug stores or even at the supermarket in the spice or baking section, called “peppermint oil”. If you’re really unlucky, you may only find “peppermint extract” , which you can use, but need four times as much (4 drops to a half gallon of water.)
The usual advice.
Eat smaller meals. Don’t eat late at night. Add another pillow to your bed. Smoke less and drink less alcohol and caffeine. Avoid highly acidic and spicy foods.
If this doesn’t work, consider (in order) Gaviscon,TUMS, Rolaids, ginger, baking soda, chamomile, Zantac, Pariet, etc. While heartburn is a highly overmedicated condition, medicines can be helpful if the above fail.
I’ve been heartburning lately, too. Peppermint tea certainly helps, I’ve been drinking so much I slosh when I walk.
Also, don’t eat before lying down. That’s helped too.
One teaspoon of baking soda in one cup of water.
Stir to dissolve, then drink.
It works wonders.
Especially that far pregnant. 
You’re going to think I’m insane, but Myntz helped me a lot - less sugar than candy canes and starlights. But knock it off post partum - peppermint can also wreak havoc on your milk supply (at least it did mine).
Also try peppermint or mint teas.
I’ll usually keep a six pack of ginger ale in the pantry for your malady. Seems to help as quick as anything else.
I find hormone changes affect my ability to deal with fatty foods or onions/garlic. So in addition to just plain having less space in there, maybe the pregnancy changes have made you sensitive to something. Just saying don’t rule out paying attention to foods that may be triggers.
I don’t know if this is possible for you but try swallowing them whole and chase them down with some milk. This works for me with Rolaids.
The advice about having small meals and avoiding acidic foods is good. Tomato sauce was the worst for me when I was pregnant.
I also found that sipping liquids helped, too–either ice-water or herbal tea.
Thanks again, all. I’ve printed this out and am keeping it near for future emergencies.
This is interesting because I had tomato sauce on Thursday night (and Friday morning was when I was having the worst heartburn of my life). Yup, staying away from that for the foreseeable future!