Any of you ladies lookin' for a good man?

I give you Travis Frey

Check out the “Contract of Wifely Expectations” he prepared for his spouse.

Contract of Doperly Expectations

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I think this contract is this guy’s private fantasy, put to paper, and it is now used by his ex-wife as a weapon in the divorce.

Think of it. The couple was married for nine years, yet the “contract” was never signed. If it was meant as a sort of sicko version of a pre-nup, (“sign this or no marriage!”) it would have been signed, and there would have been more legalese in the wording.

If the guy was a true domineering male, he wouldn’t have had to spell his wishes out. After nine years of marriage, a true dom-guy would have domineered his wife into such submission, that just raising an eyebrow would have been enough, if she didn’t get into her garterbelt fast enough after putting the kids to bed. He wouldn’t have the need to sit behind his computer and put up elaborate fantasy contracts.
The fantasy-aspect shows in the almost lusty detail of the wording and the elaborate lettering, and the totally unneccesary " sign here" lines after every sentence. Don’t forget the fact that there aren’t any details on what *his * duties and obligations are.

So besides competely eew, the contract is also completely pathetic. He couldn’t have handed his ex a more deadly weapon. I’d almost feel sorry for the guy.
Almost, but not quite.

'Tis true, very true.