Any other at-home moms out there who are sane?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Hi,

I haven’t really posted a “hello, here is my introduction” post even though I have been reading for about two years and posting for six months or so (although I prefer to read).

Although it’s hard to tell sometimes from just reading posts, it seems like there are a lot of men, working people, and young (as in: under 25) people here. I was just curious if there are any other people like me on this board:

  1. 30ish
  2. stay-at-home moms
  3. college-educated (not that it matters, just describing me)
  4. movie fanatic
  5. book super-fanatic
  6. mom of 4
  7. mom of an almost five-year-old
  8. mom of 3 13-month old triplets

Now, knock me over if anyone fits all 8, especially #8, but are there any other moms out there?

Just so no one jumps on me (this happens frequently on other boards if I dare to post), my standard disclaimer: Yes, I stay home because I choose to. No, I don’t think that kids in daycare suffer for it. I stay home because I hated my first career (computers, specifically tech support) and want to get another degree (probably nursing or other health care field) after my kids are all in school. The triplets were an unexpected surprise that set that plan back a few years but I don’t mind at all. We are lucky enough, especially living in the ridiculous Boston-area housing market, to be able to live off of one income as my husband does pretty well, although we are not rich but any stretch.

Okay, hope I got most of the potential-offensives out of the way.

Oh, forgot one. No, I don’t spend all day posting on message boards; I spent 90% taking care of the babies (older son is in preschool) and drop in on here when they are napping and for sanity breaks. (YOU try staying in a room with 3 one-year-olds who all want to be the ONLY baby on your lap for more than 20 minutes! I have to detach periodically, and they play well together).

Wow, I just realized how much time I have spent justifying my life. I’m not actually THAT insecure, but the whole Working Mommy vs. Stay-At-Home Mommy debate pisses me off to no end. My position is if you love your kids, you do what is best for them, and if they feel loved, they will turn out fine.

There. Now no one is allowed to be offended.

There I go again!

Well, here I am, welcome me if you choose, I look forward to meeting others. I’ve been hanging out on the BBQ pit mostly for the trainwreck entertainment but this board seems a little less… intense!!!

I look forward to philosophy, Hollywood gossip, movies, deep thoughts and not-so-deep thoughts, and maybe making a friend or two who understands sarcasm as a form of legitimate humor (VERY hard to find in the Stay-Home-Mommy groups - most of them are very passionate about their “calling” as a SAHM and are religious to boot. I have no problem with religion but am gradually realizing that I don’t believe in much myself. I tinker with the idea of reincarnation because it sounds nice. I’m taking my children (well, the older one) to church and will give him CCD and Sunday School, but I’m not a believer, much to my saintly Mother-In-Law’s distress.

Wow, what a random babble! I hope there’s a kindred soul out there somewhere! If you have triplets, better still, but not a requirement.

I look forward to chatting with you all; this is definitely the smartest and most eloquent board I’ve ever come across. I love getting my Straight Dope newsletters.

Hey! UPS is here!!! Yay! Adult conversation! How long can I delay the guy at the front door? :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

Karen

2

Hey!

I say – Hey!

Care to hear from a not-so-sane SAHM?

There are a lot of wonderful parents here, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from them shortly! We started a Mommy’s group a while back & gathered a lot of wonderful anecdotes & recipes. But there are so many issues & topics, nobody wanted to try to limit discussion to a single thread, or limit discussion within that thread, so for lack of direction it’s kind of been dropped (though it’s always fun for me to see my homies on other threads!).

I have b/g twins who are almost 11 months old. How on earth do you manage with three?

SAHM a “calling”? I dunno. Beats answering phones for some of the jerks I’ve worked for; OTOH, none of my bosses ever threw up on me. Really I adore my children, they’re sweet as sugar pie, lovely like lemon drops, cute and precious and perfect – but how much can one person take??? GAAAAHH! Some days I just want to be rude and obnoxious. Some days I am!

Gotta dash, dirty diaper is calling. Great to meet you!

3

I don’t know how sane I am, but I’m a SAHM. I’m 32 years old and I have a 12 year old son and a 10 year old daughter. I read and crochet, I also do a lot of volunteer with with their after school activites.

I’ve been thinking about going back to work, but I’ve got to find something that can work with the hours my kids are at school.

4

Hey there!

Well, we match in many things, if not the triplets. I’m 31, have two daughters ages 4.5 and 21 months, and read a lot (I’m a librarian too, and have started subbing at the public library lately). We’ve decided to homeschool, so there goes the sanity requirement. I’m religious too (LDS), though that isn’t the reason for the homeschooling thing. I also quilt and embroider in all that spare time I have, ha ha. And I wish I could knit, too.

My philosophy is that we’re all moms, doing the best we can for our families, so no arguing please. But I’m pretty lucky to live in a place where being a SAHM is considered to be a perfectly good thing to do.

Um, I think that’s about it for now. It’s grocery-shopping day, and we gotta get out of here before it starts raining again. Welcome to the boards (since I’ve never seen you before).

5

Darn it. I keep thinking I’m an official SAHM, but since I actually work about half-time, I technically don’t qualify. I work really (REALLY) early hours, though, so I’m home with the kids all day.

Anyway, I’m here, posting sporadically and trying to manage four kids and a household full of pets. The kids range from 3 years old to 18 years old. The house is a little 3 bedroom with a half-finished basement (two more half-assed bedrooms there for the older kids, and a work space for my home biz, should I ever get it moving again).

The kids are: The Weeping Princess (3), TBone (5), Middlepoet (he needs a better nickname) who is 14 and plays a guitar upside down and backward, and Elderpoet (18). Good kids, and there’s a lovely man around here too, buried somewhere under all the cats probably.

On your list, I see that I have a few hits: I’m 30ish (okay, 40ish, but what’s the difference, really?), have a 5 year old, college degree (which, my father keeps pointing out, I am Not Using to My Advantage, heh), and I read a lot of horror anthologies.

I also make soap and candles, do some ebay, just started sewing again, and write poetry. And I’m considering writing what may well be the more boring book ever written, should I find the time and inclination.

Welcome. Enjoy. The boards are chock full of sanity-saving threads, and every mom needs a moment or two to herself.

And that’s my life, pretty much.

6

I’m a mostly SAH mom- I work very part time to the tune of about 6 days a month as a registered nurse.

I didn’t plan to stay home. I had my first child who was a breeze, then I had a hugely complicated pregnancy with and extremely premature birth with the second. I decided that both kids (especially the second one) needed my full and nearly undivided attention. We decided I’d return to work when the younger one got to first grade if he was doing well.

He’s in first now and I’m talking to my boss about returning part-time. I mostly like staying home, but did have some major adjustments to the lack of funds and lack of status involved in being a SAH mom.

I got on-line when the kids were small because my hobby (BC) was reading, but I was having trouble concentrating what with the constant interruptions and time constraints and all, and also could have adult conversations that were paced over time which suited me well.

I agree with you about the religiosity of many SAH’s- at least in my area. This has been a little troublesome for us as well. We’re not religious and do not attend church. Some have chosen to not associate with us about this, and we don’t miss them at all.

I’m older than your average parent, having had my first at 35. It was definately odd having a best friend with kids graduating high school while I was home changing diapers!

7

Hi there. I’m a stay-at-home mom, although not by plan or really by choice. I never officially quit my job, and then when Whatsit Jr. was a year or so old, I asked if I could start taking on some assignments again, and luckily the answer is yes. So I still work for them, about 10-20 hours a week, in my free time (HA HA HA) or when the kids are napping or after they go to bed or whatever. It’s hectic but it does bring in some extra cash, which is nice.

Anyway, Whatsit Jr. is currently almost 3 (his birthday is Jan. 21) and BabyWhatsit is 10 months old. For the most part I like being home with them, although sometimes “sane” is a huge stretch to describe my mental well-being. To be totally honest, I feel like Whatsit Jr. could really benefit from going to a day care or preschool at this point, as I am doing a crummy job of providing him with interesting and/or stimulating things to do, but due to various circumstances, he probably won’t start preschool until next August. In the meantime I console myself with the fact that he does seem to be pretty well able to entertain himself for hours by making up little stories with his toy cars and Fisher Price animals.

I too am college-edjimikated, and a book fanatic, and I used to be a movie fanatic but these days we’re lucky if we get to see one movie every couple of months or so. I use Netflix mostly for TV shows, as I never have the time to sit and watch an entire two-hour movie these days.

Anyway. Count me in, I guess!

8
  1. Yes
  2. Yes
  3. Yes
  4. Not really
  5. Yes
  6. No, just 1
  7. No, but he’s almost 5 weeks old
  8. After the agony that was a singleton pregnancy, I fear that. A lot.

I’m also terrifically bored and would kill to meet other sane moms in my area.

9

Does a stay at home dad count?

Actually that’s a bit misleading. We’re both stay at home, we work on independent contracting during naps and after bedtime. I guess I’m here because I wanted to pipe in on the whole SAHM debate. Who the hell are these people to denigrate a SAHM for choosing that path. It seems like it has become somewhat unacceptable to make your child’s development your top priority. That’s bullshit. I can’t think of any job more important to society than giving kids the best possible start in life.

that is all.

10

  1. 30ish - for a little while longer, the end of those years is creeping up on me

  2. stay-at-home mom - no - but does it matter? I think SAHMs are great. And working moms are great. And we have a lot more in common than the SAHM/WOTH mom “wars” seems to think. Both sets try and raise kids the best they can.

  3. college-educated (not that it matters, just describing me) - Yes

  4. movie fanatic - yes - first degree in film

  5. book super-fanatic - yep

and

My kids are five and six now.

I’m in the process of going back to college to change my focus from IT to Acccounting. I don’t hate IT, I just think it has a limited career path and if I’m going to choose something, it isn’t going to be IT.

11

Well, I fit your profile to some degree. I’m a SAHM (just starting a little ebay business, but at this point it takes me about 45 minutes a day, so I doubt that it counts as a “job”). I’m in my early 40s, not college educated, but have been reading so long and so much that a lot of people assume that I am, from talking to me. Of course, reading the torture that constitutes that last sentence, you’d never think I was an English Major! I have three kids: a 17 and 1/2 year old who has lots of emotional problems, drug and alcohol problems, boy problems, etc. A 13-year-old who is smarter than any 13-year-old should be, and definitely more beautiful and developed than is good for her. And a little girl who just turned five.

Hubby and I have been discussing whether or not I should pursue a job of some sort, since my little one is now in pre-K. Unfortunately, chronic kidney problems would keep me from signing on for a job where they like, expect you to show up on time and regularly, or something. The kidney thing keeps me in bed an average of one to two days a month, which may not sound like a lot, but you never know which days! I also end up hospitalized for an average of five days, about twice a year. In the past five years I’ve had 7 surgeries on my right kidney, and there are more surgeries in my future. So we decided ebay was the way to go!

Sometimes I have to take narcotic pain relievers for my problems, but usually when that happens I’m too sick to be posting anyway. If I sound weird, I’m probably just stoned on caffeine!

Stephen King is my favorite author (and please, please don’t assume that if I like him, I must like Dean Koontz! I can’t stand Dean Koontz). I also like Greg Iles, Olivia Goldsmith and Harlan Ellison (yes, yes, I know he’s an asshole, but it’s not like I’m gonna go out drinking with him, I just read his stories).

I homeschool my middle daughter, and am planning on homeschooling my youngest once she reaches first grade.

I hate the SAHM vs. WOTHM debates! If everyone does what they think is best for their family, everything’s cool. And if we all respect one another’s decisions, it’s even cooler!

Nice to meet you karenow!

12

I’m a semi-stay-at-home Mom, which gives me part-sane status, I believe. Of course, my belief and reality don’t always coincide. That’s cause I have kids and some days ya just have to grasp whatever straws are available. Even if they’re covered in chocolate milk and dog hair.

My steadily sinking ship consists of a three and a half year old who used to be a whiz at toasting bananas and things, but has calmed down considerably in the last few months to where he only breaks a few dozen eggs a week to make pancakes in the fridge; an eleven year old who has just turned the corner into pre-teen land, where the phone is embedded in her ear while she IM’s her twenty best friends and looks up everything she can find on Good Charlotte cause they rock, while she perfects the art of eye-rolling to the point where she can actually see out the back of her head whenever I attempt to tell her something, cause she already knows, “Mooooom…” :rolleyes:; and the 16 year old walking-angst girl, who can find tragedy in even the simplest of places as she rails against the outrageous unfairness of it all, while wearing Tinkerbell jammies.

I am the sole captain; they are my crew, along with assorted furry deckhands. At any given moment, there is a mutiny in the making, forcing me to keep one aging eye open at all times for fear that they will penetrate the ever-growing weak spots of my aging self, as I see year 46 fast approaching. Of course I need glasses now to see it, unless it’s in really large print.

I attempt to work at home part-time as a newspaper editor and I have an excuse to go into the office several times a week just to sit in peace and quiet. I don’t actually do any work there; it’s just very restful. I live about 45 miles west of Boston, so we could be neighbors. If you see a little Cape-style home with a white picket fence that is pulsating with noise, confusion and an overload of Lego’s, it could be mine.

Welcome.

13

Hey inkleberry, are you planning on staying home permanently, or on going back to work in 3-6 months or something? I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but the first 6 weeks are the worst part–soon you’ll get more sleep. It gets much better as you hit 3 months (settling into a sort-of schedule) and 6 months (sleeping through the night, hopefully). Right now you’re exhausted and spend most of your awake time on the couch, nursing or otherwise feeding, right? And it’s hard to get out of the house, especially now in winter.

It will get better, and you’ll find that there’s plenty (and then some) to do. Since you’re in Hayward, I don’t know that there are a whole lot of other SAHMs around you, but some ways I’ve found include:
–Check the local paper’s schedule, and at the library, for mom clubs. The library should have a list of all local organizations, and many of them meet right at the library. There ought to be at least one secular mom’s group, and they may have playgroups–I met 2 good friends in the playgroup there, though we went renegade after 1 year–but we’re still friends, 4 years later.
–There might be Gymboree, Mommy&me community classes, or local community college mom/baby groups. I’ve never joined one, but have heard great things and know many moms who’ve made good friends at them things. Gyms sometimes have Strollercize or other classes, too.
–Go to library storytimes, a favorite mom hangout.
–If you’re that sort of person, get a hobby that includes meetings. Scrapbooking is huge, and all sorts do it. Knitting also. And quilting; a lot of people pick up kitting or quilting when they have their first baby and discover that they suddenly want to make something. All these things have classes and meetings.

Most SAHMs want to make friends, but don’t always know where to start, since it’s a new world where you have to make your own social contacts. Scraping up a little energy to get out and be outgoing will help a lot. Good luck, and hang on!

14

My wife, Pepper Mill, is a stay-at-home Mom, ever since her last job completely folded up. She’s college educated and, since then, has been trying to finish up a degree. We only have the one, seven year old MilliCal, but she’s worth at least four kids. I won’t tell you how old Pepper is, since I want to keep all my body parts. And we’re in the Boston area, too.

I can’t swear that she’s completely sane. She married me, after all.

15

Well, I have five children, 15,14,13,8, & 7. Does having my first round of children that close count as triplets? or my second round as twins? :wink:
High school education, and I love books and movies, but not as avidly as many other wonder dopers.
I have an odd job where I get to put my 30 hours in over the weekend and that gives me all week to spend with my heathens.
I’m not sure about my sanity, but my location is a pretty good hint.
I just turned 33 on the 12th.

16

Hey, Karen!

I’m a semi-SAHM – I work between 12 and 20 hours per week as a reference librarian while my kids are either in school or at home with their dad or grandparents. Not sure I’m sane, either. :wink: But otherwise: I’m 33, college-educated, enjoy movies, looooove books (see librarian, above). I’m the mom of two girls, 9 and 5. Can’t imagine being the mom of triplets. It’s like the Hat Trick of parenting: how do you do it? :smiley:

I stay (mostly) at home because I didn’t want anyone else spending more time than me raising my kids, except maybe for my husband. Also, both of mine were premature and ill when they were born, so day care wasn’t even an option early on. By the time it was, I knew I didn’t want to go that route. But hey, it’s up to each person what she decides about day care. I’m not about to judge.

Most SAHMs I know have some kind of part-time gig on the side, either regularly or occasionally. One’s a personal organizer, another cleans houses, still another writes articles for the local paper. It’s all good. I love my job and would probably work for free (though I’d never be foolish enough to admit it in front of anyone who pays me. :wink: The adult conversation it entails has been a valuable sanity-saver.

Welcome, Karen!

Mrs. Furthur

17

Welcome to the SD, Karenow. Here’s another slightly less than sane SAHM/writer chiming in. I fit the bill except for #6 and #8. I have two kids, a 9 year old daughter and a 4 (soon to be five) year old son.

18

Ooo-me! Me!

I’m 33, a SAHM and freelance newspaper writer. I am quite goofy and sarcastic by nature, not a milquetoast even though I am obnoxiously friendly most of the time, can’t stand kids’ music, don’t wanna discuss poops ad nauseum, so I have a lot of problems finding other moms and kids to hang around with IRL.
They often seem kinda boring-I know that doesn’t sound nice-maybe they think the same of me…
I do have some funny, normal LJ friends in my sitch. Couldn’t do without my LiveJournal.
My son is 22 months old, and like furthur, had to stay home because of pramaturity.
Frankly, though, I love it. My nightmare job would probably be day care worker, but I have infinite patience and fascination with my own kid.
:smiley:
Luckily these days, being a SAHM seems to have a certain retro hipness to it. I did run into one really rude person who has a daughter my age. She said that all SAHMs do is shop, watch TV, etc. Meanwhile she is a resort property manager, because she “has to work or she’d feel useless”. While I totally understand that sentiment, I don’t think it makes sense to look down on others because yo ufeel that way. At any rate, I do work, just not traditional cubicle hours, and it’s not like this girl is curing cancer or anything. She’s calling the plumber when rich Yankees have a problem.
:smiley:
NNTAWWT, but for heaven’s sake, why is that considered to be inherently more important that watching a human being develop socially, physically, cognitively?
It’s like living in my own little science lab.
:smiley:

I am impressed, Karen. Triplets!

i’m expecting our second and I’m terrified about that…

19

Ugh. Please excuse rampant typos.
For starters, that would be prematurity.

20

I know exactly what you mean! When I was pregnant with our third, I was 38 years old; a friend said to me, “you know, after 35, the chance of having twins rises dramatically; what will you do if you have twins?” and I said “Decide which one to sell on Ebay!” :smiley:

My best IRL friend was pregnant with her first the same time I was pregnant with my last (her baby was born five weeks after mine, so for all intents and purposes they are the same age), and a couple of times during pregnancy, she remarked that she wouldn’t mind havig twins. After the babies were born, we babysat for one another quite a bit. After a couple of times of babysitting mine while caring for hers, she decided she was really glad she hadn’t had twins after all! :slight_smile: