I’ve taken the Meyers-Briggs test a couple of times and one thing I’ve noticed is that on the Introvert / Extrovert continuum, I tend to score kind of in the middle (leaning towards Extrovert).
In practice, what I’ve noticed is that I tend to be content to spend my weekends alone watching TV and playing videogames or wandering the city or whatever, but at a point I need to go out and be with other people.
And yet, if I am around other people too long, I find that exhausting.
Anyone else feel this way?
I’m probably classically introverted.
But that doesn’t mean I never want to be with folks. I, most assuredly do not like large crowds of strangers.
I can do a large family reunion for a while. Whole weekends are out. I don’t like those people THAT much.
Where I fly off the norm is my germaphobia and other lesser phobias.
Eh. I manage.
I’ve taken the MB test, and ended up on the introvert side somewhere, but don’t remember the particulars.
Dealing with people tires me, and I much prefer solitude. I’m quite friendly and can easily take the stage and give presentations (not shy at all), but prefer to be alone if possible.
A while back Musk (or someone) was touting a one-way trip to Mars, some type of solo trip with no way back. My kids were joking around that I’d be the perfect candidate since I’d have a whole planet to myself. Then my son said no research would be gained because: “once he leaves Earth orbit, Dad would turn off all the radios 'cuz he doesn’t like talking to people”.
I’m always in the 15th percentile of any test. 85% of people are the other thing.
Meyers-Briggs is pretty outdated as a test though, based as it is in Jungian theory.
What the professionals use these days is the Big Five aka the OCEAN model. You are rated on five basic personality parameters:
Openness to experience (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious) Conscientiousness (efficient/organized vs. extravagant/careless)
**E[/B]xtraversion (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved) Agreeableness (friendly/compassionate vs. challenging/callous)
**N[/B]euroticism (sensitive/nervous vs. resilient/confident)
OP the thing I think you’re describing is ambiversion. You’re an ambivert. Like being ambidextrous, but with personality rather than handedness.
Some professionals use the Big Five; depends what kind of professionals they are. In corporate Human Resources circles, professionals don’t use the Big Five, because the Agreeableness and Neuroticism elements don’t fit the “everybody is good just in different ways” mold.
My Meyers-Briggs score declared I was an extrovert, although I got high scores for both introvert and extrovert.
It’s an oversimplification to treat it as a binary thing. Most people are probably mixes of both.
Conditions apply. There are people I’d be more inclined to interact with, say due to common interests and views.
At work, I had the reputation of being strongly extroverted because I was very comfortable giving highly technical presentations to large audiences of bigwigs. In fact, I was bonding with people over the nerdy subject matter; I found casually interacting with them over coffee much less natural.
There can also be a distinction between a person’s inborn nature and the experiences of their life. I have a fairly unusual first name-last name combination which sounds made-up and a little comical. I think this forced me from an early age to be more outgoing and good at cracking jokes when I met people. Sort of like the “Boy Named Sue” story, except instead of being made tougher, it made me more extroverted.
Or at least *appear *to be: the place I worked for 34 years was notorious for being populated by introverts, but it was mostly run by extroverts. I used to advise fellow introverted employees that we can fake being extroverted better than extroverts can fake being introverts. We introverts can practice speaking and interacting with people comfortably. But it’s not as easy for an extrovert to fake being happy locked away in a lab all day.
I’m a “performative introvert”. I can look like an extrovert when I’m in my element. I’m not shy and I don’t have a hard time carrying out small talk when my energies are flowing. I can even be loud and jocular. But it is all performance art.
I’ll seek out people only when I’m super bored, which doesn’t happen very often.
On that test I was rated 99% introverted. I’m basically textbook.
Which doesn’t mean that I hate being around people. It doesn’t even mean that it’s always unpleasant to be around people. It means it’s draining to be around people - even if I’m enjoying myself at the time.
In my opinion, the difference between an extrovert and an introvert isn’t how you feel about people, it’s about whether being around them ‘recharges’ you, or whether you have to spend time alone to recharge after being with people. I’m the latter. I like my family and friends and am happy to spend time with them - but if I do it for too long without a break it wipes me out. It’s not the kind of tiredness that sleep can fix; only time alone can.
I am ambidextrous, and I guess I’m ambiverted, too.
I also landed right on the line dividing introvert and extrovert.
I can talk to anyone about anything, but they don’t often become friends. I’ve had many acquaintances, but very few friends throughout my life, and I’m OK with that. I get energy from interacting with people, but I do need to be alone more than most. This lockdown has been hard for both of us. When poor Mr. CelticKnot (essential worker, strong introvert) gets home from work, I, having been stuck at home all day, want to talk his ear off. He wants quiet.
One employer had everyone do the OCEAN inventory/test/whatever, but in an environment that prevented me from studying the results. The corporation wasn’t the type that would do that for the benefit of employees, so I never received any info about it. I don’t know why they wanted it.
Introvert. Although I have family and close friends who I love and enjoy, generic “people” quickly exhaust and often depress me. Oddly this often applies even with encounters I enjoyed at the time. Time alone, or with the chosen few noted above, recharges my batteries.
I have a VERY extroverted friend who’s been completely blindsided by the pandemic . He’s been working from home since April. If his communication is any indication, he’s slowly going nuts because not only does he live alone but he doesn’t have any real time “recharge”, as it were (he says Zoom meetings aren’t the same thing).
I think there are a lot of people in a similar boat. They’re the ones who are first in line when a store reopens or when a restaurant offers outdoor seating. They’ll be the first in line for everything else so they can be around other people.
Yep. I score dead center on Myers Briggs on that scale, mode or less. Depending on the day I take it, I may be an E or I may be an I. I consider myself an ambivert. I’m extroverted in small groups, but tend to be overwhelmed in large groups. I like and am comfortable with long periods of isolation or just hanging out with my family, but I need to go out and see others and talk to others in order to get some of my energy back. I like small talk and chit chat with strangers and cashiers and stuff like that. It’s absolutely both with me.
I find it depends on the people as well. Some people I can hang out with indefinitely. Other people, like my inlaws, I find their company physically painful.
I don’t mind large groups, but I don’t like being crowded where I can’t move or it’s too loud to talk. I mean I guess few people do.
I understand this completely. When I get up on stage and emcee an event, speak at a conference, or do standup comedy, the audience energizes me. The bigger the live audience, the better the high.
On the other hand, I have a pretty low tolerance for forced interaction at a party – especially with a bunch of people I don’t know. I will usually leave a party mentally and physically exhausted and ready to go curl up by myself at home.
That’s the one thing about retail/food service/hospitality that few people realize: It IS performance art in real time.