Any pathologists or forensic experts that could proofread something?

[Dumbguy]

I’ve been working on a novel for about a year now, and it’s generally going pretty well except for one chapter that really sucks a turd. The story starts at a small town funeral, and although it’s not a murder mystery, I thought some mention of trying to figure out who did it was probably necessary. I tried writing an autopsy report to give some details about the way the character died (which is sort of relevant later), but it feels awkward. I did a fair amount of research and read a bunch of autopsy reports, but you obviously can’t cram years of study and expertise into a few days. Is there anyone in the field that could read this and give me notes. Not just phrasing necessarily, although this will be where I’m most off the mark I’d imagine, but suggestions about adding or deleting sections and how to format the information would be appreciated.

Excerpt here:

*Cause of Death: Exsanguination
The low volume of blood in the body confirms the amputations could not have occurred post-mortem. Additionally, there are no signs of strangulation or blunt force trauma. The patient exhibits no visible bruising or contusions, no conjunctival petechiae, no sub-cutaneous hematomas. Radiographic examination of the skeleton reveals no fractures. *

“The poor bastard bled to death.” Deputy Cale wandered over and watched the sheriff read.

*Amputation wounds suggest at least two implements were used to remove the hands. Cuts through the skin, subcutaneaous tissues, and carpal muscles are smooth and precise, consistent with a straight edged knife of four to five inches in length. Serrations on the radius and ulna suggest a fine bladed saw was used to cut through the bones, most likely a backsaw, although it is impossible to make a definitive determination without the hands. Cut patterns on the soft tissue and bones of the right wrist are rougher and less regular than those of the left.

Opinion: The precise nature of the wounds suggest that the subject was either heavily restrained or sedated (or both) during amputations. However, there are no signs of bruising, and toxicology reports find no indication of sedatives, so these conclusions must be considered speculative.*

[lavenderviolet]

A few years ago someone posted on this site who claimed to be a forensic pathologist or something along those lines but I don’t know if anyone ever conclusively proved they were legit. You might have better luck seeing if anyone on this pathology forum over here wants to offer some suggestions.
I don’t think it’s ideal to use the internet for something like this because you really don’t know who you’re dealing with and could easily be dealing with a troll who just wants to mess with you, but at least on there you could also look at the posting history of the person claiming to be a pathologist to see if they sound legit at least. It would be pretty easy for a troll on this site to fool laypeople, but probably a little less likely on a site meant for people in the profession.

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

Jackmanni is a pathologist.

[Dumbguy]

Thanks for the forum link. I tried a few pathology forums before and never got a response, but that one looks more active than the ones I found. I’ll try Jackmanni too.

I figured it was a bit out of the range of normal posts here, but the Dope always delivers

[contactgsw]

@Dumbguy

I’ve been working on a novel for about a year now, and it’s generally going pretty well except for one chapter that really sucks a turd. The story starts at a small town funeral, and although it’s not a murder mystery, I thought some mention of trying to figure out who did it was probably necessary. I tried writing an autopsy report to give some details about the way the character died (which is sort of relevant later), but it feels awkward. I did a fair amount of research and read a bunch of autopsy reports, but you obviously can’t cram years of study and expertise into a few days. Is there anyone in the field that could read this and give me notes. Not just phrasing necessarily, although this will be where I’m most off the mark I’d imagine, but suggestions about adding or deleting sections and how to format the information would be appreciated.

Excerpt here:

I am a forensic pathologist with over 16 years in practice. In fact this showed up on a standard daily automatic Google search using key words related to my profession.

Your descriptions are fine. Much better than a lot of fiction I have read.

ContactGSW