I’ve seen Christy Hemme
Vince’s Netflix series is cancelled.
Vince beat the federal government, but his legacy is now going to be undone because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.
Looking her up on Pro Wrestling Wiki, I found that Hemme was moved to OVW in late November 2005, announced that she’d be training there full-time, and was then released due to “budget cuts” the next day.
Certainly sounds like it could’ve been her, as this was just a few months after her spread in Playboy which Vince definitely would’ve had to sign off on.
Last week, Cora Jade and Roxanne Perez beat Toxic Attraction for the NXT Women’s Tag Team Championship.
On last night’s show, Perez (who was banged up after being attacked in the Performance Center parking lot, the single most dangerous and crime-ridden place in the world, which somehow still has no security cameras even though this has been happening every other week for like eight years now) got a women’s championship shot against Mandy Rose… which ended with Jade attacking her mid-match and letting Rose get the win.
I guess Vince was gonna get his “women’s tag team champions turn on each other” storyline no matter what. Sasha and Naomi were right about how little the women’s tag division means to this regime.
Tag teams, even champions, turning on each other is just Vince’s sloppy, lazy booking. He puts the teams together just for the reason of splitting them up. He’s hated tag-teams for at least 2 decades. If it wasn’t for Reigns, how much do you want to bet that Jimmy and Jay would have already had a feud. New Day and Viking Raiders are together because he doesn’t care enough about them to split them up, and sees none of the pieces as singles material (even after Kofi proved he could pull it off).
Update on Big E:
His fractured C1 vertebra is not ossifying from his March accident. (Which is good.) His neck will be evaluated at the six- and nine-month marks, but they won’t have a good estimate as to when he’ll be able to return to the ring until they’ve evaluated him a year after the injury, in March of '23.
Meanwhile, Big E will be consulting at a talent tryout later this month.
AEW Dark Taz/Excalibur moment of the day
The Country Bear Jamboree from the previous week continues, as Ex and Taz jet from Universal Studios to Japan and the UK to cover other matches.
The opening acts:
- Taz asks that if Bear Bronson continues to lose weight, will he be reclassified as an otter? He then wonders if otters are in the bear family.
- Taz clarifies the difference between the Hip Hop hold and music genre.
- Captain Shawn Dean was in the new Top Gun movie. It definitely lasted over an hour.
- Taz had to do play-by-play while Ex was counting his money.
- There’s a boat route directly from Strong Island to Universal Studios.
- Ex gives dirty looks to Alex Marvez.
- West Virginia is a really easy place to get to if you’re not from there.
- Ex & Taz are mesmerized by Angelico’s new entrance music.
- Bad news: Taz doesn’t follow Angelico on social media. Even worse news: Angelico doesn’t follow Taz on social media.
Private Party vs. Bear Country
Close up of Mark Quinn’s anguished face as Bear Boulder easily lifts him during his headlock
Ex: You can see there, Mark Quinn actually dipped his lower jaw in glue and then went rolling around in lawn clippings.
Taz: Or, put his face in the bowl of a porta-potty.
Quinn tries to jump on Boulder, but gets crotched and held in Boulder’s massive arm.
Taz: That’s a Yam Bag Lift. Rare do you see a Boulder Yam Bag Lift.
Ex: Would you call that a Double Boulder Holder by Bear Boulder?
Taz: Oh, you just topped me. Check please!
I enjoyed how Taz threw Excalibur under the bus blaming Ex for all the bear cub mascot talk from the previous week.
And to be pedantic, otters are in the same family as weasels, ferrets, skunks, minks, wolverines, and more. Not bears.
Nobody ever considered that Taz would have reliable taxonomy skills, but I digress.
Here’s Corny’s take on further news Vince McMahon paid for more hush pussy. The illustration reflects Corny’s recollection that Vince was more like a high school principle before he ascended into billionairehood.
I would think that a carnivorous Dasyuridae might know about a carnivorous Mustelidae, just out of professional curiosity
(I know what family the otter belongs to because I used to keep ferrets, I just had to look up the spelling. I had to look up the other.)
Because you didn’t demand it…
STINGHAUSEN
I’ve always assumed that it was because he can’t tell the two of them apart and, since he assumes his viewers are all illiterate hicks who can’t remember what they watched ten minutes ago, that he also assumes they can’t tell them apart either.
Probably a good bit of both.
How do you tell them apart? One of them’s got colored hair, right?
That’s the only way. Having different tattoos doesn’t help.
WWE is going back to TV-14 next week
At least RAW is. No word yet on SmackDown.
Another change forced on them by the competition of AEW?
Probably forced on them by the networks. Think of all the testicle jokes recently. They’ve been pushing the boundaries for awhile. It’s just catching up to them. At least that’s my guess. If they want PG back, they’ll have to backtrack for a few weeks/month before regaining it.
I knew it, Vince is gonna make angles out of his sexual issues.
AEW Dark Taz/Excalibur moment of the day
This ep was nearly two hours, and they didn’t even use transporter beams.
- AFO and AF1 are different, and it doesn’t involve math.
- Ex sets up a bit about getting a double serving of pasta, and Taz completely destroys it, forgetting the #1 rule in improvisation.
- Ryan Nemeth steals again.
- Taz laments there’s too many Jones: Van Jones, and his nicknames for the barely competent.
- When they were in Savannah, Amber Nova told Taz she loves him on Dark and Rampage but never mentioned Excalibur.
- Taz comments that Bryce Donovan’s elbow drop is “shades of Abdullah the Butcher, but higher than 2 inches.” Ex adds that Abby did have a lot of shade under him.
- Ex says “Perhaps Danhausen thinks he’s the Inhuman Suplex Machine.” Taz snorts.
- Taz’s growl is a Tasmanian Devil and a panther and jaguar combined.
- Taz has been hit by lightning twice.
Avery Breaux & Valentina Rossi vs. Charlette & Robyn Renegade
Taz: These two young ladies are very tough. I struggle with knowing which one is which, Charlette and Robyn. I just call them Renegade.
Ex: Well, that is Robyn right there.
Taz: Well, how am I supposed to believe you? How? Am I supposed to believe that?
Ex: bargle bargle You just gotta trust me, Taz. I’m sorry. I dunno.
Taz cackles.
…
Taz: Avery Breaux, she’s from the northern part of Sicily I guess.
Ex: Valentina Rossi is inspired of course by the great Italian wrestlers. You got Tracy Smothers…
Taz: Tracy Smothers for sure, Tommy Rich was another.* Obviously, Dominic DeNucci, Bruno Sammartino, we can go on longer.
…
The Renegades switch places while the referee is distracted.
Taz: Things are getting crazy here, brother. I’m telling you that right now. Getting a little nuts.
Ex: Yeah, I thought we peaked with the Tracy Smothers reference.
Taz: You see what they did there with the Twin Gimmick Jones.
…
The Renegades get the win.
Taz: I’m not sure if you heard, but someone was yelling from behind us here. “She’s not legal.” That was Bryce Remsburg, stickin’ his head out of the locker room, nosy bastard.
The twins set up for an interview.
Ex: Our own Tony Schiavone is gonna ask them why their music sounds like a 14.4 modem.
*both were Southern wrestlers with platinum blond hair, made into Italians for an ECW angle.