Explain some things about WWE to someone who hasn't watched it in 20 years

Cafe Society
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When I was a little kid in the '80s and early '90s, I didn’t care at all for most sports. I couldn’t have named anyone who played for the Padres or the Chargers and I didn’t even learn what a first down was until I was in my 20s. But, like many of my generation, I loved the WWF. Some of my fondest moments are getting to stay up late on PPV nights to watch Hulk Hogan, and the house shows at the San Diego Sports Arena that my dad took me to every year. Of course, eventually my favorites - Hogan, Macho Man, the Steiners, etc. - all started moving to WCW, and I followed them over in the early '90s. By the time I was a teenager, though, I’d started to get bored with the storylines that never resolved themselves, and sometime in 1998, around when the nWo became The Angle That Would Not Die, I stopped watching wrestling altogether.

Flash forward to 2013. I haven’t watched any wrestling shows since then, but I’ve been feeling pangs of nostalgia about the subject lately, reading up on all the old wrestlers on Wikipedia, watching vintage matches and documentaries on Youtube, and so on. Last night was a rare Monday night where I happened to be off work and had nothing better to do, so I decided to turn on Raw and give it a watch to see if it was any good these days.

It wasn’t bad. The main event match between Cena and CM Punk was actually pretty good, and there were one or two other good matches, even if there were some silly things like Kane having to fight with one hand tied behind his back while his partner (who I’ll call Beardy McBeardo because I can’t remember his name) fumbled around with a bag over his head. It was pretty much a lot like I remember WCW Nitro being - more talking and promos than actual matches, long stretches of filler material, and by the end of the show nothing is established and nothing has been resolved - but it was still pretty fun and I just might set my DVR to start recording it.

The downside of coming back in after so long, of course, is that I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. It’s an entirely new generation of wrestlers than what they had in my day - the only people on the show I’d ever even seen before were Vince McMahon, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Kane. I’m hoping if there’s anyone out there who also watches this silliness, that they can catch me up on some things I was wondering about;

  • What are the big feuds driving the storyline these days? I gathered that Alberto Del Rio/Jack Swagger is a big one from the promo they did with (The Miz? I think). Are there any other rivalries going on right now that are worth knowing about?

  • The show started with a “fight” between Mr. McMahon and Paul Heyman, which consisted of Heyman hitting Vince with one of his crutches (which I assume he doesn’t really need) a few times until some real wrestlers ran in to take their place (HHH supporting the former, Brock Lesnar the latter), and they brawled for a few minutes before leaving the ring with no pinfall, no bell, and no official decision. What’s this feud about? Heyman was, I think, one of the guys who ran ECW back in the day - what’s his in-universe role in the WWE these days? (Off-camera I assume he’s part of the booking team or something.) McMahon wasn’t even “out” as company chairman back in my day- the impression I always got was that he was supposed to be a heel in-universe, but the crowd seemed to be cheering him on and booing Heyman. Also - are Vince’s in-ring appearances always this much of a dud?

  • The Kane match I mentioned above was apparently instigated by Vicki Guererro and some man with her (her kayfabe boyfriend?) who Lawler (I think, I can’t tell his voice from the other guy) referred to collectively as “Bricki”. Who’s he, and what are his/her in-universe roles?

  • There are apparently two world championships these days - the “WWE Championship”, which the Rock has, and the “World Heavyweight Championship”, which Alberto Del Rio has and which I noticed is the same belt that used to be the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Which one is the more prestigious one that every wrestler dreams of having, and which one is the second-best? I noticed they also have both the Intercontinental Championship and the old WCW United States Championship - is either one of those considered more important than the other?

  • Randy Orton had a match against the United States champion (whose name I don’t remember either). He won it cleanly, but at the end they didn’t hold up the belt and I got the implication that the other guy was still champion. Even back in the day belts rarely traded hands except at PPVs, but it was understood in-universe that the title was on the line whenever the champion was in the ring, and sometimes they’d have a belt change hands on a weekly show just to surprise the audience. Is it now a standard thing that matches on weekly shows are non-title bouts?

  • Near the end of the show, some guys called “the Shield” came out to the ring and cut a promo where they talked vaguely about how justice will be served on some people whose names I don’t remember, which ended with Randy Orton sneaking into the ring, attacking one of them from behind, and then fleeing through the audience. What the heck was that about?

  • Lastly, I’m aware that the WWE’s other main weekly show is called Smackdown and it’s on on Fridays. Is it worth watching as well? Does it advance the storyline or is it basically just a showcase for the B-card, like WCW Saturday Night was once Nitro became their main show?

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It’s late where I am. But I’m on it. In the meantime, there are a few others out there who will get you started, I’m sure.

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You really think you need someone to catch you up? WWE is not exactly Great Expectations.

That you’ve watched it once after 20 years and you don’t know all the story lines is not surprising, right? . Maybe watch it again once or twice, then check back if you are still in the dark.

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John Cena is the current “Superman Good Guy” who always wins, who always overcomes the odds. Vince loves this shit. He’s the #1 face, the #1 merchandise seller, etc. So don’t ever expect to see him lose.

Alberto Del Rio was brought in as a “rich guy” villain, mostly feuding with Rey Mysterio, the Mexican face/fan favorite. But Rey has been out with repeated injuries and now two Wellness violations, so they needed a big hispanic face since 20% of their TV audience and a lot more of their usual TV location audiences are Hispanic. Jack Swagger has been around a couple of years, usually as a Heel (villain), but was out for about 6-9 months with an injury and was being overlooked for a while before that. He is a former champion, however. So WWE is going to the well of xenophobia once again, only this time with the whole Tea Party/Immigration issue as the backdrop. Some of the ADR stuff from Monday was a bit sickening given how they’ve portrayed him in the past. “Just like you”??? Way too much ass kissing and pandering for the character.

Heyman was brought in to act as a manager/speaker for Brock Lesnar, then has been used as a ‘friend’ to CM Punk with bits of also being who is behind The Shield. He is not a writer. Vince? Well Vince comes back every time there are ratings issues. Sometimes he portrays himself as a face, sometimes as a heel. It’s very inconsistent. And yeah, lately everything Vince has done on TV has been very much a dud.

Brad something-or-another. He was a referee, then he screwed Cena out of the title in a match against CM Punk. Claimed not to be associated with Punk while doing it. Then subject to some skits and matches trying to get a job, ended up as Vicki’s assistant. Now talking over the top of her, so we know that won’t end well.

For years there was a ‘Brand Split’ where one title was on Raw and one on Smackdown, with a clearly delimited roster belonging to one show or the other. Then that started to get blurred, then thrown out altogether. The more prestigious one is whichever one John Cena has at the time, since he’s their current God.

Non-title match. WWE unfortunately keeps doing the same old crap of pissing all over the lesser belt holders in order to make their top guys look better.

The Shield are three guys from the development territory, one of whom is actually the champ there. They are supposed to be ‘a mystery’ with speculation about who is behind them, although there was a pretty clear video a while back with Heyman being connected to them. Although Heyman claimed it wasn’t him in the video, it was an imposter. :stuck_out_tongue:

Like I said above, it used to have it’s own roster and it’s own champ(s), but now you’re going to see the exact same people on that show.

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Smackdown has generally been considered the more wrestling-focused show, with Raw being the more storyline-focused one. Also, for a while they were considered separate “brands” and even had separate PPV events, but neither are no longer true, it’s really much more combined now. (the WWE and World Championships were originally established as the championships of each show, now they are theoretically equal, but most would consider the WWE one more prestigious)

They do enough “recaps” that it’s probably not hard to only watch one and keep in touch with major events.

McMahon really did have hip surgery a few weeks ago. He’s not a day-to-day part of most storylines anymore, so he’s kind of graduated to “beloved old bastard” status.

Paul Heyman is not part of any booking team as far as I know, he’s the heel manager for CM Punk and Brock Lesnar.

We’re going into Wrestlemania season. The Rock, who is still a big draw despite not being their very often with his movie schedule, is WWE champion, you saw the match to determine the challenger, John Cena. Cena’s a face as well (though mostly due to kids and women, older males generally don’t care for him for various reasons). This sets up a rematch of last year’s Wrestlemania main event.

You saw the World Championship, Swagger, currently playing a Tea Party-knockoff character, vs Alberto Del Rio, who is from Mexico.

CM Punk, currently a heel and a very good technical wrestler, was champion for over a year and only lost it a couple PPVs ago. With the loss this week, he has no clear feud going forward, rumors are that the Undertaker will show up for his now-traditional Wrestlemania match.

Kane, who I’ll just say has gone through a lot since you probably last saw him, is paired with the goat-bearded Daniel Brian. They have recently gone through a highly amusing set of anger management courses and are tag team champions. They are the tag team champions, but mostly are seeming to feud with each other.

Vikki Gurrerro (Eddie’s widow) is the current general manager of Raw (well, she has a longer title, but whatever). The guy you saw with her is her assistant. She is a heel, who gets major, major heat.

Booker T, a name you might recognize, is the face general manager of Smackdown.

The Shield is a group of rookies who came in as a unit and have kind of laid waste to various superstars. They were working for Heyman/CM Punk when Punk was champion, now they seem to be working for themseves.

HHH, who is now acknowledged as having married Vince’s daughter and as part of the WWE Corporate structure, has had major run-ins with Brock Lesnar over the past year, Monday night started the feud up again for Wrestlemania.

That’s probably most of the big, important points right now.

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The big feud has been CM Punk vs The Rock. They wrestled at the last two PPVs. Heyman is affiliated with Punk. McMahon restarted a match at one of the PPVs which Punk thought he had one and the result was the Rock winning. Thus Punk’s camp thinks McMahon is against him. This resulted in Lesnar attacking McMahon and breaking his hip, which is why he was on crutches. HHH came back to defend his father in law and set up the Wrestlemania match with Lesnar.
The Punk Cena match was the end of the Punk rock feud and the start of the Cena Rock feud which will main event Wrestlemania. The rumor is that Punk will wrestle Undertaker there but that feud has not started yet.
Vicky Guerroro is the general manager of Raw and she makes matches that annoy the faces and pleases the heels. Brad Maddox is her boyfriend who replaced the last one who left her for a younger woman.
The WWE championship is the more prestigious, it used to be the Raw title and the world championship was the Smackdown title. The brands are very intermixed now but in general the WWE and intercontinental titles are the RAW titles and more prestigious than the Smackdown titles. The secondary titles are sometimes not defended in the match which is how Orton can beat the intercontinental title holder and not win the belt.
The Shield is a group of newcomers who claim they have been overlooked and are out for justice. They have been attacking people in the main events and were thought to be affiliated with Punk because they attacked his opponent, Ryback on a PPV. It is still unclear who they are affiliated with and what their motivation is.

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Mostly true, though this was the first time he’s beaten Punk in a long time (since 2011, I believe). With HHH working storylines, they are doing a somewhat better job at building the heels (bad guys), enough that Monday’s match could have gone either way and it wouldn’t have been surprising.

He should be, but I’m biased. Heyman does a lot of publicity/promotion work for Brock Lesnar even before he returned to WWE.

99.5% true, IMO. The legacy title (the WWE championship) is generally treated with more respect, but I agree that Cena with the World Championship (formerly WCW championship) would be treated with more respect. A shrinking roster of headliners killed brand separation. WWE hasn’t been able to build enough new characters to carry two shows.

100% agreed. Let us not even talk about what they do to tag teams!

8

Chris Jericho is still around, you should recognize him. He’ still at the top of his game too.

9

Yeah, Jericho comes and goes periodically.

Last time around he kept claiming “I’m the best in the world at what I do”.

And what he did (which was certainly unspoken) was make other people look good and put people over. Unlike a lot of the other top guys who are too insecure to do that.

And yes, he was the best in the world at doing that.

10

The only time the World title has really been considered the top title was back when it was the main title of Raw for the first year or two after they split it back off from the Undisputed title.

I mean, it’s not even close these days. The WWE title is generally in the main event of PPV’s (unless there’s some other big attraction like Cena vs Brock), while as often as not, the World title is used as the curtain jerker match to open the show.

I would say the WWE title is equivalent to where the WWF title used to be (fitting, seeing as they’re the same title), while the World title is much closer in status to where the Intercontinental title used to be 20 years back.

The IC title itself, as well as the US title, tend to fluctuate in importance, neither really seems more important than the other, but in general they seem to be about as important as the European title was in the WWF or the TV title was in WCW. Sometimes they have good feuds over them and seem to be making them important. Other times they sit on some guy forever with nothing interesting going on with them (often they use Kofi Kingston for these reigns). And quite often they can go for months without having a PPV IC or US title match.

11

You said you stopped watching wrestling in 1998, so a couple of other things need to be explained.

First, the reason it’s WWE instead of WWF: in every other country in the world, WWF stands for World Wildlife Fund (at one point, Prince Philip (husband of Queen Elizabeth II) was in charge of it). They made a deal where Vince could use WWF except in certain conditions (e.g. on video tapes); when World Wildlife Fund felt that World Wrestling Federation had broken the deal, they sued in English court and won, and Vince, rather than having one name for England and one for the rest of the world, changed the company’s name to World Wrestling Entertainment.

Second, if you’re wondering what happened to WCW: sometime around 2000, Time-Warner, which owned Turner Broadcasting, was tired of having wrestling on its stations (especially wrestling that stooped to gimmicks like - and I am not making this up - having actor David Arquette win the WCW World Heavyweight Championship); Vince McMahon saw an opportunity and bought WCW for a fraction of what it was worth just a few years earlier, mainly for the wrestlers’ contracts and Turner’s wrestling video archives. This is why the WWE’s “World Heavyweight Championship” looks like WCW’s “Big Gold Belt”, and there’s a United States championship.

It is generally considered that the RAW titles are the most prestigious ones, as RAW is, far and away, the most popular wrestling show.

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Actually it was AOL, when they bought Time-Warner, that decided they didn’t want to own a wrestling company. A tentative deal was brokered with Eric Bischoff getting some backers to buy and keep running the company, but inbetween the penultimate and final Nitro broadcasts, AOL decided they didn’t even want 'rasslin on their newly acquired stations at all, and cancelled Nitro and Thunder. At that point Bischoff’s backers backed out and the McMahons wound up buying the trademarks and tape library (and a few of the contracts, but most of the big names like Sting and Goldberg had ironclad contracts AOL still had to pay out) for a song. Hulk Hogan has said that if he had known how cheaply Vince got WCW for he would have bought it himself, just for the tape library.

13

Thanks for the answers so far, I think that fills in a lot of the holes in my understanding. I was aware of the death of WCW, the name change, HHH marrying Vince’s daughter, etc. I do remember Chris Jericho and Booker T from WCW, as well as Rey Mysterio (who used to be a Jr. ) and Big Show (he’s still around, right?) Are there any other wrestlers from the '90s still around? A lot of the gimmicks the new guys have seem a lot thinner than you used to see (Sheamus is Irish, Jack Swagger is racist, Cody Rhodes has a mustache), but considering that they play it much more realistic than in the day when heels had ridiculous gimmicks and the Undertaker had supernatural powers (do they still play him that way?) It’s understandable.

One more question I didn’t think of last night. Cody Rhodes (who admittedly does have a pretty sweet mustache) had a match, and during his match they had a guy whose name I can’t recall join Jerry Lawler and the other guy on commentary. He was apparently in a tag team with Cody in the past or something like that, and I got a really weird “hetero life-mate” vibe off him whenever he was talking. At the end of the match, he ran off from the booth chasing after Cody. What’s the backstory behind all that?

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If you haven’t watched since 1998, get to YouTube and watch every Shawn Michaels match from 2002-2010. He really is the GOAT. If you don’t like Hogan, you’ll really like their match.

15

That’s Damien Sandow, who is doing the Arrogant Intellectual gimmick. The big (unintentional) flaw that bothers me is that he says “YOUR WELCOME”, not properly pronouncing it as “You’re Welcome” after telling the audience what a big favor he’s doing for them by simply being there. He and Cody Rhodes were the tag team of Rhodes Scholars until they just beat too many times by the Kane/Daniel Bryan team.