My wife’s dad regularly calls her with dire predictions regarding our snake, a very personable and laid back Australian Jungle Carpet Python. He (my father-in-law) is a regular consumer of garbage television, and my pet theory is that every time the SciFi channel airs “Attack of the Toilet Pythons”, he dials the phone.
This is no Burmese or Reticulated Python; Jungle Carpets are tree snakes that pose no danger whatsoever to adult humans, to my knowledge (we do not have children, so that’s not an issue).
I’ve explained this to my father-in-law several times to no effect. I’d like to refer him to some outside sources (websites, books, youtube, whatever) so we can calm him down - any ideas?
I’ve been a snake owner since 1978 and it’s been my experience that there are some people that can be educated out of snake phobia and a few that it’s so deeply rooted that no amount of reason will make any difference.
I think it’s hopeless. The other day a baby lizard scampered into my class to get out of the sun. Grown women were shrieking and hopping up on top of their chairs to escape the little monster. :rolleyes: He was two inches long, max. Some people are squicked out by reptiles and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. If the FIL is convinced that your little green and yellow friend from Down Under is going to kill both of you in your sleep, there’s not going to be any convincing him otherwise.
My wife is so afraid of snakes that she will freak out if she sees a photo of a snake. While she rationally knows that a picture of a snake can’t hurt her… it doesn’t matter. She will run from the room screaming. There is no way to reason with someone like that. I kept snakes as a kid and have no fear of them. I have tried to gradually introduce the idea that not all snakes are dangerous, but she can’t fathom it.
If I were you I would tell him that you don’t have an irrational fear of snakes, or any other creature, and that perhaps he should consider working with a therapist. This fear can be cured, but only if the patient is willing to accept the fact that not all snakes are going to kill them.
I’d just let your FIL be. While I don’t have any fear of reptiles, irrational or otherwise, I also don’t see the charm of keeping a reptile in one’s home. Enjoy whatever it is that you enjoy about your snake and learn to deal with the fact that lots of people will be freaked by your choice of pets.
Appeal to his rationality and admonish his reactions as childish. I would wager that a lot of men would be swayed by a combination of both, and would at least not want to seem cowardly, whether they actually come round to liking it or not.
If he doesn’t think he is irrationally afraid of snakes, there is nothing you can do. In my limited experience even people who know they are phobic about something rarely want to do anything but avoid.
If you can get him to admit he has an irrational fear, he might be interested in:
Since he’s already on record with “dire predictions”, he’s in a lose-lose situation as long as you keep the snake. Either his daughter is going to be injured, as he predicted, or he’s going to be proved wrong. He has to keep harping because if he stops he’s either showing he doesn’t care for his daughter or he’s admitting that he was wrong.
Is your wife upset by his fretting? Does she sometimes think that maybe he’s right? Because if not, he’s regularly providing both of you with a big dose of “I’m wrong but I’ll never admit it.” Which may be irritating, but also has its benefits. You can both practice nodding and saying that you know he’s only saying that because he cares, while doing what you’ve decided to do dispite his warnings.
Just do what I do- berate them incessantly for the childish and irrational behavior. Try to make them feel like less of a human being. Bring it up even when the conversation doesn’t call for it.
I came in one day to the whole office in an uproar because the receptionist said she’d seen a snake. I finally found it, behind a file folder on the floor. It was sooooo cute and tiny. Maybe 2 or 3 inches long, and less girth than an earthworm. I scooped it up with a paper cup and set it free in the woods out our back door. Everyone, including our male owner & president was much relieved and thanked me for my bravery. Jeez.
He probably didn’t reason himself into this fear, so it’s unlikely you will be able to reason him out of it.
His fear is affecting you because a lot of your conversations with him have to do with the snake, is that right? You could try telling him that you’re sick of talking about snakes with him. Then, if he brings up snakes, tell him to knock it off or you will hang up/leave. Change the subject to something having nothing to do with snakes. Then hang up or leave if he mentions snakes again. People with phobias are generally capable of not talking about whatever it is that they’re afraid of. Most of us can have conversations about other topics.
Oh, and make sure you do not introduce the topic of snakes into any conversation with him. You know where that’s going to go, and you don’t like it.
Take something he enjoys and compile the most alarming statistics you can find. Or make some up.
Him: “I just heard about a guy in Tasmania who was killed by his pet snake! You should get rid of that thing!”
You: “Gosh, Pop, thanks for the heads-up, we’ll sure think about that. Hey, did you know 47 people were killed by falling tree limbs while playing bocce ball last year? I think you’d better give that up, it’s way too dangerous!”
If you’re going to own a socially nonconformist pet just to show how different and unusual you are, you will sometimes have to deal with members of society reacting to the fact that you are doing something different and unusual.
Why can’t the wife just tell him to stop calling? He’s not going to get over his fear; he’s got a closed mind about it, but he can at least stop bugging you.
What’s he think the snake is going to do anyway? Eat you or wife?
ETA: And we reptile-owners don’t own our pets just to show how “different and unusual” we are. What a rude thing to say. We own them because we like them and they are less mess and less smelly and hairy than dogs and cats. And less responsibility. I own a leopard gecko myself.
A plastic lizard would be completely free of odor and mess and hair. I cared for an assortment of amphibians and reptiles as a work study job when I was an undergrad. While there is nothing of which to be afraid, though the venomous species warrant caution, there also seems to be little reason to bring one home. Some will reach the point where they will accept being handled. Most will not. None will ever be able to interact with their owner even on the level that a hamster or parakeet can. They are right there alongside tarantulas and hissing cockroaches as creatures of instinct. They are, at most, biologic decorating accessories. They are no more pets than are the residents of the ant farm I have in my classroom.