I feel like you do, without any backing reason. I especially feel like I’ve been screwed with by society in general and their debilitating patriarchical prudichness. I feel even worse when I realize that there are people who have a good reason to feel that way…i do have sympathy for you , though, or at least I try.
Of course, being weird and strange and unsocial doesnt prevent me from having a good time 
Not at all. We all need some support sometimes. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help. In my experience (though mine was probably far less severe than yours), getting rid of pain is like learning to swim. You choke, at first, but with practice, and a little help, it becomes second nature.
Yes. Every person at one time or another feels this way. No matter how good someone’s life looks to you, they have insecurities and fears you cannot see.
Because when all is said and done, we are alone with ourselves, and we are the ones most acutely aware of our weaknesses and flaws. We tend to believe that we feel strange or weird because we are intrinsically flawed in some manner. Some have traumatic pasts that they feel are responsible, and some don’t. In any case, we tend to exaggerate those flaws until they become self-fulfilling prophecies and we become that which we fear the most.
TaxGuy and tanookie had some important and valuable comments. There comes a point at which you have to stop looking at your past for explanations as to why you are the way you are, and decide that you are going to change - that you will not allow the past to have power over your life as it is now.
I guess the questions I would ask myself if I were in your shoes - and I have been in a similar position based on your posts - would be What motivation do I have for holding on to these feelings? What do I get out of allowing myself to be controlled by my past?
The answers to those questions should give you hints as to what to do to change things.
Best wishes,
Suse
Oh, and on the ‘reaching a happy medium’ question.
You’re obviously aware of being at one extreme and moving to the other. Awareness is the first step in making the change to finding the ‘happy medium’. The next step is figuring out exactly what you are doing that swings you toward one extreme or the other, and trying to do something different the next time.
If you find you are making your friends an overly high priority in your life, for example, you might try consciously backing off even (and perhaps especially) when you are feeling as if you need to move closer. This is not to say you shut down, but that you restrain your thoughts, feelings, or actions somewhat in regards to that person.
It won’t seem natural at first, but with time and practice it will get easier.
Best wishes,
Suse
You mean the “I want a refund on this life” feeling? Or the “When I die please bury me somewhere that no one ever goes, no grave marker or anything, so no one will ever know I was here” feeling? Or the “It’s me isn’t it, I’ve got broken parts inside and I’m not normal and that’s why no one wants to be around me” feeling? Or the “I wish I could be a kitty cat or even a bug or something, I’m really not any good at this being a person thing and I’m tired of trying” feeling?
I want to do something a little bit odd. I want to recommend a book but it is not a self-help book or a psych book or a philosophy book. It’s a mystery book. Please go to the library or bookstore and get a copy of The Tightrope Walker by Dorothy Gilman. And after you’ve read it, please think for a while about the tree.
Lovely, AHunter3, thanks
monstro, I would never have dreamed that you have any social problems. You certainly don’t here!
Heart, in addition to finding a therapist to help you cope with the rage, you will want to begin to plan for future good times and to become, for yourself, the parent that you always needed. It’s something to think about.
You mentioned prozac. It has literally been a life saver for me because I have clinical depression. Some of the symptoms are:
'2) a change in weight – either gaining or losing without trying
feelings of hopelessness and despair that last longer than two weeks
a lack of energy
difficulty concentrating
There are a couple of other symptoms. You don’t have to have all of these symptoms – just a few.
Only a professional can diagnose depression. But I do know that buried anger is sometimes one of the triggers.
I hope you find your way.
Some people are just not highly “sexed.” It’s the same as being a horny straight or gay person: part of the kaleidoscope of humanity. I wouldn’t worry about it.
You and my wife and your damned nematodes! :rolleyes:
**
I’ll second what Zoe said and extend it to Heart On My Sleeve: NEITHER of you come across as all that odd when you are here. But then we are an odd bunch. Perhaps fate was doing you both a favor by leading you here to be among your own kind. It’s like the story of the Ugly Duckling. You may seem a weird and awkward Mute Swan compared with the majority of Mallards mindlessly quacking around you but here you can find your voice.**
Very true, though I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that medication might help.
I just want to say that I had to look up nematodes, and this is the first picture that popped up at me.
Heart On My Sleeve, I wish there was something I could say to help you out. I always felt like the oddball because my life was so different from other people’s, but in a completely different way. Call it guilt, I guess. I grew up in a good home (think Brady Bunch), I had a good group of friends, a good job, and a pretty decent life. I spent half my teenage years helping out my friends, who had no family life to speak of, because I felt bad that I had something they didn’t. I don’t want to go on too much about it, but it’s difficult being the only “functional” family person you know.
I really hope you get the help you need, and I hope that things turn around for you. Just remember, there are a lot of people here that will listen if you need to vent.
I was really like this as a kid. I had no friends and as a result I tried desperately to get anyone who would talk to me to like me. As A result I came off clingy and pushed people away.
At about 12 or 13 years old I kind of decided “Fuck 'em” and didn’t care what anyone thought, I was gonna do whatever I wanted because it didn’t matter anyway.
Needless to say I was kind of a prick for a few years but at least people paid attention to me. Then one day a girl said to me “You know, your actually kind of nice, if you would just stop acting like a jerk you’d have a lot more friends.”
It kind of struck a cord with me and I thought I’d try it. It worked.
So in short, accept yourself for who you are, forego to 2-3 years of being an ass, and lighten up. People of worth will appreciate you for being you.
HOWEVER - I don’t know how old you are so IF your in high school or junior high, don’t be surprised to find a lot of jerks, that’s just normal at that age.
And finally Heart On My Sleeve I’ll hang out with you if you want. Are you anywhere near Chicago?
Zoid! Why, yes, I am. Email me (wait 'til I put my email in my profile).
I’m feeling a lot better, guys, and thanks for all your support and indulgence. My old man has made me feel much better, too.
I really was desperately down in my OP, but it really was a temporary feeling–I got my anger out and I’m pretty good for a while. I wouldn’t consider myself depressed because it doesn’t last. Or maybe I’m in denial 
I don’t doubt that I’ll feel like shit again, it happens, but I’m okay these days.
THANKS MUCH!!! You guys are really great.
