[QUOTE=cowgirl]
For the love of all that is holy, please try to make your conversation more interesting.
[/QUOTE]
I have to socialize on occasion with a group of these people. They can talk of nothing other than work, their kids’ sports accomplishments, work and work. Any attempt to try to delve even lightly into any other topic is rebuffed by steering the conversation back to those two topics.
Honest to God, with no exaggeration whatsoever, I can say that I would rather go to the dentist than sit there, absorbing the verbal equivellent of watching paint dry.
My neighbor is the same way. She has a *lot *to say, and not a single bit of it is even remotely interesting. She yammers on and on about what plants she’s buying for the front yard, all of the errands she ran today and isn’t it *hot *outside?
The worst part of this is that she won’t let you politely disengage. Whenever she sees a chance to talk, she rushes out to capture the person before they escape. You can politely say that it’s been lovely, but you have to go and she’ll keep right on talking. If you start to edge back, saying you need to be somewhere, she’ll follow you, increasing the speed of her voice to try to get it all out before you get away. I swear to Baby Jesus, I could tell her my house was on fire and she’d continue to yap, increasing her speed until she starts to sound like an auctioneer.
Once, my husband was carrying a load of landscape bricks from the truck to the front yard. Neighbor Lady stepped in his path and started blathering about how warm it was, and how she’d been wanting to do some yardwork but it was so hot and she’d been so busy! She’d been to the grocery store-- and did you know that they had a terrific deal on Tide detergent right now?-- and then she’d gone to the post office where she’d seen Mindy and. . . .
Hubby’s legs began to tremble from the effort of clutching the bricks, but she did not notice, intent on talking as much as possible in the few moments she could wrest from him. He finally had to end up walking away from her or drop the bricks where he stood.
I have been late to work before because I have hidden in my house, peeping from behind the curtains until she went back inside and I could make a hail-mary dash for my car. Smokers will appreciate how serious I am in avoiding her when I say that if I am out of cigarettes, I’ll deal with the nicotine craving rather than leave my house if I see her outside.
We know her ex-husband. Hubby once asked him why they’d split up. The husband said that she was a really nice person and they got along well, but in the fifteen years they were married she did not shut up for a moment. He wanted a divorce simply because he couldn’t take it any more.