Anybody Need Some Tiny Rants?

The BBQ Pit
#1

Like blister pack gum packaging. Who decided that a little wad of waste paper was way too small, and we should have a large amount of stiff cardboard and another equal sized one of plastic? Poopyheads. (And I think the actual amount of gum you get is smaller.)

Mosquitoes - blood-thirsty little bastards. If I wanted to have a cloud of mosquitoes around me every time I stick my nose out the door, I could go back to Saskatchewan. We’re not supposed to have so many here.

That’s all for now. I’ll probably think of more later.

#2

Look, if the computer lab has 140 computers, and there are only 5 people in the lab, DO NOT SIT RIGHT NEXT TO ME DAMNIT!!!

#3

Same goes for the bathroom! I don’t want to hear every cheek rustle and labia flap if I don’t have to. Move the hell down!!

#4

Likewise, if there’s an entire empty restaraunt except for a party of 5 and a party of two, don’t sit me right between them.

#5

At the grocery store, don’t wait until the last item is bagged before you start digging around in your purse looking for your checkbook! I assure you, they do expect you to pay for the groceries!

#6

Why is my chicken taking so long to thaw? I want to eat dinner. So hungry…

#7

Corridor etiquette: Walk on the right, pass on the left. When stopping in total befuddlement, do not remain in the center blocking all traffic.

You’re insulting your national bird? Have some pride.

#8

Decaffeinated coffee. Because it exists.

#9

Reading comprehension. On clearance at any local Wal*Mart for less than an issue of People. Get some, become intimately acquainted and never leave home (or visit your local message board) without it.

#10

“Yes” is not an acceptable response to a multiple choice question. When I ask if you want X or Y, do not frigging answer “Yes”, okay? Because otherwise, I will have to ask, in that “Patiently-dealing-with-a-moron” voice: “Yes, you want X or yes, you want Y?”

Stupid people should be shot.

#11

Myself, for the way i get when driving in this city. Yes, there are some really discourteous, possibly dangerous drivers out there. Do i have to burst veins in my forehead every time some maroon cuts me off? Can’t i just take a few deep breaths and let it go?

#12

People who give my mother unsolicited financial advice – especially the people who think she’s up to her eyeballs in debt when she is not, and never has been. An extra kick in the rear for a certain cousin of Mom’s who keeps expressing distrust of our financial planner. The guy has been our financial planner/adviser since I was in second grade, for crying out loud! Let him do his job!

People who think I’m living off of student loans, or think I otherwise owe lots of money. Yeah, I’m really going to have trouble with that $25 Discover Card bill. :rolleyes:

People who think my Jeep is giving problems and should be sold because I had to have it serviced recently. You know, all those fluids do need changing at certain intervals…

A side note: I would like to direct an ex-mini-Pitting to the mayor of my hometown. The last time one of these threads came up, I mini-ranted about him on several counts of “being a tool.” He has since redeemed himself, so I feel bad about the original pitting. Plus, he and his family have turned out to be rather cool people.

#13

People: come get your fucking drawings. They are, after all, proprietary and some are also classified.

Also, if you decide for some reason you don’t like your fucking drawing, please dispose of it in the shredder, not the big bin that says “DO NOT THROW DRAWINGS IN HERE USE THE SHREDDER”.

Maybe I need to insert “fucking” in between “throw”, and “drawings” to make it come across better.

#14

People who let their cats wander around all day and eat birds and mice and leave them strewn all over the path. I’m a bird person not a cat person and it makes me so mad. :mad:

I-87 traffic. People, it’s one car pulled well off the road - MOVE!

Other than that I am cheerful.

#15

They flap?

#16

We have the most hideous washrooms where I work. I mean they are clean and all, but every tiny sound reverberates through the entire campus. You fart in a stall in building 300, someone in building 100 is saying “What the hell was that?” One day I found myself in the stall, desperatley trying to hang on to a load of gas until the guy at the urinal next to the stall left, and just could not do it. After the amplified and reverberated echo died down I just heard the guy say “And that is why guys do not go to the can in groups!”

So I rant about lack of sound proofing.

#17

Governor Bill Owens letter to the editor today in which, in defense of his desire to deny state services to immigrants while nobody knows how much that actually costs the state, he pointed out how much money illegal immigrants cost the state in items which are either a) required by the feds, such as school (with an implication that deporting their parents will save us $300 million in educating children who are U.S. citizens), or, b) something that won’t change, for instance, keeping criminals in prison.

Was that all one sentence? Wow.

#18

Dear Cats,

You are carnivores. This means you eat meat and cat food. You do not eat cheese, plastic, potato chips, cookies, pitted cherries, nuts or my hair. You do not drink coca-cola, orange juice or wine. You drink water.

I repeat. You are carnivores, not omnivores. Our local strays are laughing at you. The Board of EduCATion will be in contact with you shortly about proper cat behavior.

Sincerely,

Your loving owner

Dear Ovaries,

We are starting IVF in two weeks. You’d better start working or you’ll have to move out.

Sincerely,

The rest of you

Dear Neighbors,

Please stop mowing your front yard twenty times a week. Your lawn is going bald.

Sincerely,

The amused lady next door

#19

Ticketmaster, who somehow believe the act of selling me three tickets ($29 each) entitles them to $21. That’s a 24% service charge. Those fuckers better be printed with gold leaf for that price.

#20

Dear Cats,

You are carnivores. This means you eat meat and cat food. You do not eat cheese, plastic, potato chips, cookies, pitted cherries, nuts or my hair. You do not drink coca-cola, orange juice or wine. You drink water.

I repeat. You are carnivores, not omnivores. Our local strays are laughing at you. The Board of EduCATion will be in contact with you shortly about proper cat behavior.

Sincerely,

Your loving owner

Dear Ovaries,

We are starting IVF in two weeks. You’d better start working or you’ll have to move out.

Sincerely,

The rest of you

Dear Neighbors,

Please stop mowing your front yard twenty times a week. Your lawn is going bald.

Sincerely,

The amused lady next door