I know “new horror” isn’t too big around here, but I thought I’d give it a shot. Especially after Scream 4 turned out to be a steaming pile of shit. I mean, I pretty much expected it to be terrible, but never like this. Scream 3 was pretty bad, but at least it was watchable. This… ugh!
Spoilers (and bitchiness) follow…
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The opening really went the only place it could go. It had to attempt to be funny. And it was, sort of. Seeing Kristen Bell stab Anna Paquin because she’s a mouthy movie watcher is awesome. But it went on for-fucking-ever and had no meaning for the rest of the movie.
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Bringing Sydney, Dewey and Gale back was probably a mistake. They don’t have anything to do and Dewey and Gale sniping at each other made this feel like a repeat of number 3. Who cares?
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But the teens were even worse. Most of them didn’t even have names until after they were sliced and diced. And aside from Emma Roberts and Hayden Pantierre, they were all ridiculously bland. And looked super young even though the were the same ages as the kids from the first Scream.
But my big complaint…
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The killers were the worst. The two of them were slight little kids out of the Ghostface costume, yet they were supposedly hulking monsters in it? Please. And the reason for the killing spree was idiotic. “The only way to get famous is to have something bad happened to you!” What? In what universe are people like Elizabeth Smart or Jaycee Dugard “famous.” Their names are known, but they’re not famous like this twit thinks she’ll become.
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And it’s a shame because the end could have at least salvaged the whole thing a little. When I thought little Emmy Roberts was going to kill them all and get away with it, that was awesome. But of course, that doesn’t happen.