Anyone been to a Club Med?

For the first time in my life, I’m going to find myself all alone at Christmas. Rather than have friends take pity on me, I’m going to get away by myself.

The one thing I don’t want is to find myself in a place full of couples and honeymooners, and end up spending a week eating by myself and reading books for lack of other people to do things with.

My travel agent recommended Club Med in Cancun and the price is right, but I’m not sure if this is for me. I like that they make a concerted effort to get people to interact, and it seems to have a very “active” slant (lots of activities/sports), but something about it says “cheesy” to me. Is it all about conga lines and silly games? Those things don’t appeal to me. What are the people like who go there?


I’ve been to that Club Med. It was OK. Yes, there’s conga lines & silly games. There’s also overpriced shots of tequila ($5/shot! In Mexico!). The facilities were nice, there were lots of sports things like scuba and windsurfing to do, and a really nice pool & beach. The food was pretty good, but the coffee was godawful, just horrible; bring some with you if you like coffee, and go into town to buy liquor. Also expect about half or more of the clientele to be European.

Obligatory post, pay me no mind, I have nothing to offer -

“Club Med sucks
Authority sucks
I hate golf
I wanna play lacrosse
The people there, they are so stupid
They exploit the poor and the weak
I want no part of their death culture
I just wanna go to the beach”

How true that is I don’t know, but needed to be sung at high volume.

I worked for Club Med as a Bicycle G.O.* for a stint that included one Christmas. This was many years ago, and at one particular family-friendly club, so your mileage may vary wildly, especially since Cancun is supposed to be a singles Mecca.

Got a funny story. The Chief (read: director) of my village in Mexico was a recently-installed non-American who fancied himself a great impressario and who loved to stage extravegant Las Vegas-style shows for the guests, who mostly included Americans from NYC or California. Rumor was that he stiffed the budgets of all the nontheatrical departments so he could buy extra piles of costumes, props and fireworks for his shows.

Well, Christmas is coming and the chief decides he’s going to stage a huge musical re-enactment of the nativity story on the beach, complete with real animals rented from town. Incidentally, all the G.O.s – like me – do double duty as the show performers. Well, the stage guys went nuts to make this show happen, and we G.O.'s had to learn a whole new routine just for this one mega-performance.

Well, sure enough, we pull it off! Trouble was, the club was packed – I mean, like 80% – with Jews!!! The chief had no idea that American Christians don’t go to the tropics for Christmas. They visit Grandpa in St. Louis. It’s the Jews that get away!

So here were all these G.O.s performing their hearts out with a real nativity scene complete with real animals, with only handful of Goyim and some of the most disinterested Jews you ever saw in the audience.

Ahh, Le Club – what memories! Did I ever tell you about the time we got hit by the hurricane…?

  • G.O.s are the staffmembers.

Are you literally traveling the week of Christmas? I’ve spent many, many holidays away from family (while none at Club Med) and unfortunately I have a hard time picturing something that is a) interactive and b) not cheesy. The truth is you are just going against the grain of most of society.

Fortunately for me, eating alone and reading books would be my idea of paradise, so that’s what I usually do.

However, for you, rather than an artificial Club Med type experience, you may be able to find an event at a resort or on a cruise that ties into one of your specific interests. This might require you to move your trip a week or 2 in either direction, but could be a lot better experience.

I’ve been to Club Med twice.
Once to Turkoise (Turks and Caicos). Fabulous property!
Once to one in Mexico near Guymas (dang if I can currently remember the name, but I believe that resort is no longer a Club Med)

You eat cafeteria style, usually. There may be a sit-down restuarant on site at which you can make reservations.
Each night there’s some activity planned and all of the GM’s (guests) are encouraged to participate. It’s usually ‘activity’, then ‘line dances’, then ‘party/dance’ until the wee hours.