Ah, yes. Three little words that strike terror in the hearts of those in the know:
Border
Collie
Puppy
And not even a “normal” one that runs in circles for only 20 hours a day. She (“Insane Border Collie”) was dumped on a country road and had possibly been abused (had a broken paw); she was the cutest thing ever until I got her home and she morphed into whatever that movie critter is that wasn’t supposed to get wet. IBC screamed when I kenneled her and screamed when I didn’t. She literally scrambled up and sat on my head whenever I sat down. She couldn’t be walked on a leash because anything that moved set her in hot pursuit and she’d tear off her nails and bleed copiously. She nipped at feet, noses, breasts, fingers . . . it was like living with a land barracuda.
The nice farm family down the road came over to see about adopting her and left, shellshocked. We’re talking folks who lived on a real farm (not the “Rover went to live on a nice farm” farm) with lots of acreage for a dog to run.
IBC was kicked out of obedience school twice and the Border Collie Sheep Herding Association asked us to leave – and not nicely – after she ignored the sheep and jumped two fences in order to fasten herself onto the heel of a young colt. She would learn commands with great ease, perform them a few times, then get bored and look for other amusements.
IBC is nine now and has become quite a sweet dog. She loves to be petted and can stay still for minutes at a time; she finally stopped nipping (and standing on people’s heads). The solution was moving to a house with a gigantical backyard and playing fetch with her five or six times a day (and, no, I didn’t buy the house for the dog :)). I wish I could walk her and take her cool places, but she freaks out and it’s not fun for dog nor human.
I guess this is all to say that there are dogs, like people, who are outliers. ICB is wickedly smart, but was unable to channel these smarts into being one of those magnificent Border collies who bring you your coffee in the morning then change the oil in the car. She’s brilliant in other ways. We love her dearly, but ultimately had to accept her limitations and decide we could live with them.