Anyone else have, now or in the past, a work husband or wife?

In My Humble Opinion
1

The term can have more than one meaning. Sometimes it’s a co-worker of the opposite sex whom you spend more time with than you do with your actual spouse; sometimes it’s a such a co-worker you simply are copacetic with and trust a great deal. I do NOT, however, mean a co-worker you’re having an affair with. That’s something else.

Stabler & Benson from Law & Order: SVU are (or were) work spouses.

I’ve had either two or three work wives, depending on how you count: that is, I’ve had three instances, but two individuals. The first was a fellow sales rep when I first worked for my current company. The second was after I left that company but before I got married; I started giving a coworker at my new job rides to work, and we simply got along very well and seemed very couple-like at work, though we were never romantic. I’m back at the first company, now in a management position, as is the first work wife. We easily fell back into being good buddies (though not partners in the same sense as before), and at company lunches and whatnot she feel quite free to say, “No, Skaldimus, you may not have any cheesecake. Diabetes, remember? Don’t make me tell your non-work wife on you.”

Anyway, that’s just me. Anybody else have a work spouse? If you’re married, how does your spouse feel about the relationship?

Don’t bother waiting for the poll on this one.

2

Sure, my current secretary. I’m good friends with her outside of work hours, but have zero sexual-romantic interest. My actual wife likes her and we often hang out together, the three of us and her son.

3

I’ve got a best friend turned business partner that I now refer to as my fake wife.
There’s an actual live-in partner, and we’re very close, but my fake wife can finish my sentences… and frequently my thoughts.

4

I had a work Dad, meant more for me then my real dad

does that count?

5

I have a Work Husband but he’s also a bit of a Work Dad. What does THAT say about me?

We agree on most things and have each other’s back. We listen to each other’s rants and tell each other when we’re off base. We also fight like cats and dogs should we disagree (but we always make up).

6

I had a work husband. We eventually referred to each other as brother/sister. We were incredibly close. His wife and I were pregnant together. He was the one there when I got divorced. I was there when he got divorced. He introduced me to my current SO.

Unfortunately, he began dating someone that did not like me (a competing work wife that he began sleeping with) and he has basically cut off all contact with me. My SO and he still work together and we have become separate couples instead of a close foursome like I had hoped. That was one of my favorite relationships in all my life, and it feels like a break up now that it’s over.

7

My business partner is definitely my work husband.

Sometimes we hate each other but we stay together for the sake of the child (company).

8

I don’t have a work spouse, but my wife has one, a woman she works closely with. I refer to my wife’s work spouse as my spouse-in-law.

9

That’s bizarre, I’ve never heard that term before but it fits perfectly for the relationship I had with a female colleague.

In my work although there are about fifteen people in a work-group we’re split up into smaller teams of two or three people who spend the vast majority of the working day with each other, as you imagine its important you get on well with the person you’re allocated to work with!

When a new person started the boss allocated her to work with me because I think he realised we got on well together…and we did, we spent almost three years working together and in all that time had only one argument. We were so close that we often instinctively knew what the other was thinking, it was eerie but cool at the same time.

Her husband and myself have the same forenames and she used to joke that she had a ‘Home Pete’ and a ‘Work Pete’, I used to say that I had a wife without the benefits… :smiley:

She was happily married with two children and although I found her attractive on every level I’d have never wished to be the cause of problems at home so I never acted on it, I believe she was attracted to me as well, we certainly spent enough time together outside of that which was necessary.

She has recently moved on to a different department and we rarely see each other, although I enjoy my work its just not the same, especially as I’ve now been allocated two male colleagues instead…

I have noticed that people do seem to naturally ‘buddy up’ at work, and not necessarily in male/female pairs, thats possibly an interesting social nuance for someone to look into.

Actually I recall reading about this phenomen in the military, I read a book on the SAS and the author described soldiers naturally pairing off even to the extent of having domestics together…

We stay in touch but unfortunately live quite some distance apart, but when we do meet the conversation just flows as easy as it always has…

Interesting to see we weren’t the only ones to have a relationship like that, frustrating on some levels but I’m glad I experienced it.

10

Yeah, I had one for many years that eventually ended up being one of my best friends. We worked closely together for quite a while, then moved to different teams and our relationship became more of a normal friendship than a work friendship. I always had a big crush on her and I strongly suspect she had one on me but either the timing wasn’t right or neither of us had the courage to say anything. She’s now married with a child, though she still occasionally jokes to her husband that she’s going to leave him for me. We’ve worked at different companies for about 6 years now but still keep in touch, though not as frequently as both of us would like.

11

That’s a very interesting/awkward question/situation. Maybe if I weren’t underemployed and/or in a job that was so individually-oriented, I could see this happening. But as it is, I work with a bunch of old women, single moms, and garden-variety morons with whom I have absolutely nothing in common. I treat most of the people in my office with very distant professionalism as a result. Also, in a call center there isn’t a lot of time for collaboration or bullshitting by the water cooler. Most of the people here punch in, take calls all day, and punch out. There’s some chatting later in the day, but there’s truly not a lot of downtime.

The only people here who aren’t stupid are a few of the managers, and it’s probably inappropriate to work-marry up the reporting structure. :wink:

12

I am my boss’s work wife. He’s not my work husband, though.

Think of the mom in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. That’s me. Her husband is my boss. It’s a pretty similar dynamic. For some reason I hear a lot about his home life, his wife and children’s failings, what his life was like growing up, other employees, etc. I don’t think he feels anything remotely romantic for me, though I do think he believes that I like him more than I do. I do like him occasionally, but he usually ruins it by being clueless, annoying and sometimes downright insulting. I would never hang out with him outside of work and I would never call him a friend.

13

Not a work husband, but a school husband. We always did the group projects together and helped each other out and finished as the top 2 in our class. I’m hoping we get to work together, the industry here is small enough that we could. Then he would probably be my work husband.

14

I currently have a work husband. And he’s not the first. :stuck_out_tongue:

A counterpart in a department that I work closely with and I clicked professionally from the first time that we met. We’ve worked on several projects together and have actually won awards for a couple of them. Since beginning to work with him ten months ago, he’s also become a good friend. He’s met the Fella and I’ve met his wife and kids and yes, they’re all aware of the dynamics of the relationship. As far as work goes, he’s the yang to my yin.

I’ve worked places before where I was the work wife of, usually, a supervisor. I like having that type of relationship with a co-worker / boss. It really makes the work life more rewarding.

15

I had a work husband at my old job. MrPanda knew, didn’t care - we went out with work husband and his wife sometimes, no biggie.

16

Oh, hells yeah. I don’t have one now, but I refer to one of my closest friends as my ex-work husband. “Ex-work” because I no longer work for that company (although he still does).

Absolutely nothing romantic about it - he’s gay and I’m happily married. And I absolutely referred to my friend as my work husband when relating stories to El Hubbo at home.

17

Yeah, when I was a young project manager I was co-manager with a woman of about the same age, and we were together constantly. I wasn’t married at the time; she was engaged. But we referred to each other as our work-spouses. One of our suboridinates confessed that she dreamt the two of us were married.

I haven’t really had one since I actually got married, though. I haven’t had that close a working relationship with a peer since then.

18

Yes, once. He’s going to become my actual husband.

19

I had a good female friend at a previous job. I could count on her to save me a seat at a meeting, let me know someone brought in doughnuts before they were all gone, stuff like that. We walked (about 2 miles) every day at lunchtime, sometimes with others, sometimes just us. I discussed personal things about my life with her as did she with me. We were total opposites in most ways, particularly movies, TV and pop culture stuff. We were about the same age. I was not attracted to her in any physical sense and she was happily married anyway.
We did not stay in touch after the company went belly up.

20

Work wife (of nearly 20 years) is my real wife of 25 years.