Working with your spouse/SO

I finally got a job. :slight_smile: I’m going to be waitressing at the restaurant where my husband is a chef. While I’m glad to have a job (it’s better than being unemployed), I am a little wary.

The last time I worked with someone I was involved with, it was a fiery mess. Then again, he was totally unstable, I got pregnant unexpectedly, etc. My husband and I are much more mature and professional than that. He would never have a complete mental breakdown because I got morning sick instead of running a steak right at that second.

We won’t have every shift together; I’m sure we’ll have some overlap, but there will be shifts that I work and that he doesn’t. I know work is sometimes a respite from home, and this will invade that a little, but it won’t be all the time.

For those who have successfully worked with a significant other, what is your advice? Any tips or tricks for navigating the workplace with your spouse?

Talk about something else when you get home.

As long as one of you isn’t reporting to the other, and you are both reasonable people, I doubt if it’s a problem. But, don’t take your home problems to work, and don’t take your work problems home (though you can joke about things at home – “Gee, I really messed up table 10, didn’t I: thanks for saving me last night!”)

I think it really depends on the individual if something like this can work. I am one of those people that need breaks from other people. There is no one in the world that I could be with all the time. So something like this would probably drive me nuts. However, there are plenty of other people that love to be with certain people all the time, and it wouldn’t bother them in the least.

I met my SO at work. We are both smart, competent, reliable, and stable, so we haven’t had any problems. He is not my supervisor nor do we have the same shift, so there are no conflicts of interest nor any “oh god, I see your face too much” problems. I developed a liking and respect for him based on his work performance.

One of the great things about working with a SO who can instantly relate to your work-related stressors. I can just say, “Oh god, [co-worker’s name],” and he already knows exactly what I’m suffering.

My advice is to learn to separate the personal and professional. Keep your hands off one another at work, and don’t let work-related issues cause arguments at home. Don’t rely on your SO to cover your mistakes and don’t get into the habit of covering your SO’s mistakes. Don’t take it personally if your SO takes a co-worker’s/client’s side against you, and stay out of your SO’s work issues that don’t directly involve you.

I think if you’re both mature and sane, you won’t have major problems.

I work with my husband also. However, our jobs don’t intersect that much, and we barely acknowledge each other at work, to the point where many people don’t even know we’re married.

Oh yeah, this is the best part!

Don’t tell people at work that you and your husband even know each other. Then you can find out if your husband is ^^that^^ guy!

My wife and I work in similar jobs, though at different places. Although our conversations about work are probably boring to others, we do have a lot to talk about, and we’ve been able to help each other in unexpected ways along the way. I think overall it’s been a net positive.

They already know. I’ve gone out with them before as “J’s wife”… so they know who I am.

We’re both pretty sane people (well, as sane as a cook can be!), and we don’t report to each other. It’ll just be that we see each other a lot more often. I asked him how he treats servers, and he’s pretty much the odd cook that says bizarre things and is the “goofy guy.” He’s not the guy that hates servers and wants them all to die! I think it’ll be interesting, especially because I have a thing for cooks. I think he’s so sexy in his chef coat, working the grill… yum!

Well, I’m off to my first day working with my husband! Wish me luck!

Good luck!

My wife and I work in the same office.
She’s the boss’s assistant. Has been for 20 years.

She made me come work after I keep trying to retire.
I do IT and CS support for a couple of years, now.

We ride to work every day, have lunch most days, and interact several times a day.
Then we go home, compare stupid people stories, and deal with kids, dinner, etc.

I think we do well, although she **has **been looking at backhoe rentals lately…

Good luck, Serenata67.

Yeah, our co-workers don’t know about us, so on the rare occasions someone complains about something he did, I have to act neutral and resist the impulse to automatically defend his actions. Thankfully, I’ve been able to stay objective and acknowledge when he should have done things differently.

The reverse is also true-- I (oh so casually!) defend him when I think he did the right thing with the information and time constraints he had.

We never talk about these things-- our alone time is spent discussing more important, relevant things like this week’s Smallville-- but I like to think he does the same for me.

I worked with my girlfriend-fiancee-wife in a big factory for a while.
Was not a good experience.

So far so good. I didn’t really have a lot of interaction with the cooks today, though. I was shadowing another server getting the hang of things. I only work one more shift with him this week; he’s working days and I have a few night shifts for training.

Mrs Piper and I have worked on court files together, and also on some solicitor-type files. It’s been great. She is a very smart lawyer and a great court-room barrister - it’s always both a challenge and a delight to get to work with her.

And, we talk about files at home all the time - she gives me good advice on how to handle files and people; I like to think I do the same for her.

We understand how the other thinks, and approaches a file, and our different perspectives are very useful.

We’re law geeks, what can I say? And, she’s the love of my life, so spending time with her is always marvellous.

I have worked with my wife dozens of times, even in the Army and the Reserve. No problems have ever come up because we decided to be 100% professional and treat each other exactly the way we treat every other worker. It can be hard, and I broke the rules once. I knew her squad was going to be ambushed and “tortured” with Ice-cold water during a reserve exercise. I assigned her to the ice truck for the day and she missed it completely. I never told her I knew in advance and it has never come up. If she ever broke the rules I also don’t know about it.

My husband and I work at the same place and I think it’s marvelous. We hate it if we have to drive separately, for example; we love riding in and home together. We have lunch together in my office most days, where I have a conference table. We work in different departments, so we don’t really have to deal directly with one another.

If there are problems at work, it is hard to stop talking about them at home. Consequently it feels like we’re “at work” more than we are. We have often made a conscious effort to leave work at work, and focus on our home lives.

I think a lot of it depends on the couple involved. It’s wonderful for us; I miss him if he’s home sick or otherwise out for the day!

My husband and I can’t even paint a room together! We work best when we work separately.