Well it has recently come to my attention that Mrs. Phlosphr might be getting a job in the same place that I work.(I’m a teacher at a small Liberal Arts College) We have discussed this at length and it seems to be a very good idea. Her compensation would be well worth it, the benefits are wondrous and the fringe bennies are great… But we are married and I do not want to see a conflict of interest arise here. We would be working in the same department, and most of my colleagues know her already, so I do not think that would be too much of a problem.
Anyone out there have any experience with working with their SO’s? I am assuming that we are such a good team now as a married couple that that will roll over onto our work style. I’m not sure though. What say ye fine people of the world?
Pro: Sex in the janitor’s closet between classes!
Con: You have the same stories from work.
I work with my SO. We have a teeny tiney business and I run the office. While the pros outweigh the cons most of the time, there are days when real life, ie…the kids, the dogs, grocery shopping and sickness gets in the way. In these cases, the SO is much less understanding than an unrelated boss.
All said, there should be no problem with the two of you working in the same place. You will not be working together, per se, and as long as you can keep your objectivity you should be fine. Just don’t let your nose get out of joint if she happens to gain recognition for something and you don’t. IOW, watch out for the jealousy monster.
Some Pros: As long as you two already make a good working team then you should not have any trouble making decisions, discussing issues etc.
Your SO is someone you can definitely talk to regarding problems and issues that arise at work.
It could strengthen your marriage to work as a team together outside of marriage.
Some Cons: Make sure you do some different things or else you won’t have different stories to tell one another.
At times, one of you may fall into the husband/wife role at work and act as such (ie, demand to get your way or get mad). If you are both mature people, you shouldn’t have to worry about it.
You may be inclined to stick around one another for lunch and work sponsored functions…be sure that you both either include other people or hang out with coworkers as well.
All in all it seems perfectly fine, as long as you agree to stay professional at work and keep private matters and the married aspects out of work.
It works out better if you both own the business. Since you obviously don’t, then be careful.
Your worst enemy is office politics. Some people will try to use you against one another, for whatever selfish reason. Rumors and innuendo may be used to pry at both of you by office rivals and enemies. Your personal life may become more public, especially if you associalte socially with your colleagues.
You may also see things that your spouse does not observe about the behavior of their cow-orkers, like jealousies, crushes, and backstabbing. This may alarm you, but it also can be to your benefit- you can help deal with the problems.
The best and worst of it is- be prepared to be treated as one person, for all things good and bad.
I don’t mean that it won’t work for you, just be careful!
Carpooling
One annual holiday party instead of two
Bad stuff:
Same stories from work
Potential office politics
No separation between work & home
I work with my SO. I should say, we work at the same company. He works in one building, I work in another. We do not work on any of the same projects, so I rarely see him at work, unless either of us makes a concerted effort to stop by the other’s cube. It doesn’t seem to be a problem.
I have previously worked in the same department with someone I dated. Then they promoted me, and wanted me to supervise him. That’s when I had to formally “announce” we were dating and say that I didn’t think it was a good idea. That situation wasn’t too good, because it you were in the midst of a tiff, it was hard to leave it at home. I didn’t like working that closely with someone I dated.
So it really depends on how much you’ll actually interact, and if you’ll need to work together or not. But it can be okay.
I would think it is important to take a good look at what type of marrige you have: if you tend to work out conflicts by suspending your own egos and reasoning out the situaiton, then I would think any problems you encounter at work would be solvable. If an important part of your relationship is long, emotional confilict resolution (which I am not knocking: it works very well for some), then that is often percieved as unprofessional and if any of that spills over into work it could cause problems.
Here’s a nasty scenario- hubby and I both work for his mom, in a teeny tiny office IN HER HOUSE.
I keep thinking it’ll be a great Pit thread someday, but then again, you never know who might be lurking…
Pros- a little afternoon delight when the MIL is out .
Cons- seeing each other 24/7 can be a bitch.
You know the strengths and weaknesses in your marriage, so you really are the best judge. It can be a great deal, if you remember to keep things in a low key.