I like the holidays. I’m excited about Thanksgiving coming up and Christmas. I’ll be decorating my house and sending out lots of cards. I’ll be watching Christmas specials and all that.
But this year I can’t think of anything I want. I also cannot for the life of me think of anything to get anyone else - beyond the boring books and DVDs my brother puts on his Amazon Wish List.
Every year it’s a pain to extract people’s Christmas gift list from them (mom, dad, bro, SIL). I still usually do really well and get them something great. I always end up with great stuff too.
Everyone in my family is the sort of “if I want something, I buy it” and “I don’t need anything” types. So am I. Heck, I barely buy anything for myself and I still don’t need anything.
I’ve told everyone that I just want to hang out on Christmas day and be with them and maybe play some games. I think they’re cool with it. Mom insists she must get one small thing for each of us just so we have something to open. But, I don’t live with Mom/Dad or with Bro/SIL so there’s nothing stopping them from getting each other gifts for Christmas morning. Heck, I might get my dog something just so she can rip it to shreds before we go to festivities
Anyway, anyone else not doing gifts this year? I’m not sure it’s the state of American finance that’s keeping me from wanting to give or receive. I’m just…over it?
The people that do know what they want have already picked out the size, color, specifications, etc., so where’s the fun in buying it? There’s no surprise or scope for creativity. Bah.
As I said in another thread, I think it would be cool if our family would agree to set a five dollar limit on gifts. With the right attitude, we could really have fun with that. If we have to do the same old “buy each other some kind of token that costs the proper amount although we only see each other twice a year”, ugh. I’d rather not.
My husband just lost his job, so we won’t be exchanging gifts with anyone this year. I’m quite sad about it. Even though shopping for family members can sometimes be tedious, I love the whole ritual of buying, wrapping, and opening.
I would be sad too if I COULDN’T buy gifts - I see where you’re coming from SaharaTea and I’m sorry that it makes you sad
I’ll admit that this year I am really focused on being debt free by next year. I am extremely close to my goal. Like once everything is paid off I’ll only be a couple hundred dollars ahead. Getting rid of all that debt has been on my mind every day for the past 3 years and I am almost obsessively focused on it. So the best present I could give myself is to meet my goal. The best present anyone could give me is to let me reach my goal (in exchange for me buying presents or giving me presents). I am pretty sure deep down this is what is driving me.
But still, I am a Christian who is just tired of the whole “Christmas is about gifts” thing, and that’s part of how I feel this year. I’m not a fan of the “let’s spend $10 on a crap gift and have a grab bag exchange” way of giving gifts either so I’ve proposed that when we have to do that at grandpa’s we’re going to all give $10 to a charity instead. That just seems so much more right to me and definitely more in the spirit of Christmas.
I just want to be with my family and feel that love and fun and that will be enough of a gift for me.
We don’t do Xmas gifts in my family. The extended family is just too huge and too economically diverse: my mom is one of 12, most of her siblings have multiple kids (and grandkids), and people’s incomes range from mid-six figures to the poverty line. So there’s really no good way to do gifts that wouldn’t be a hardship or charity. Among my immediate family, my mother really disapproves of the commercialization of Xmas: she’s very religious, and when we kids were small it bothered her to see us get so worked up about gifts, and the way we compared what we received with each other and other people. So by the time I was 15 or so, Xmas gifts had been more or less entirely phased out: Xmas and Thanksgiving are more or less identical holidays with my family, only with more chance of carols at Christmas.
This isn’t to say my parents aren’t generous: I never wanted for anything, had access to a car from 16 on, didn’t pay a dime of my own money for college, etc. But none of that was ever a gift in response to a holiday. Holidays were for fellowship.
In my family, we limit gift-giving mostly to the kids. My siblings and I don’t exchange gifts amongst ourselves, and we don’t even get gifts for our nieces and nephews - the parents buy their own kids a gift and say it’s from the aunts and uncles collectively. My mother gives each of us a gift and we all get together to give her a gift (usually something pretty significant). So the only adults on my side of the family I have to think of gifts for are my wife and my mother. The only kids I buy gifts for are my own. I worked hard to convince everyone that this system is the best and, though some of them were dubious, everyone is now a believer. Besides being easier for everyone involved, it’s cheaper and the kids don’t end up with a zillion gifts (which was what happened in the past, as I have 6 siblings and we collectively have 15 kids).
However, my in-laws are gift givers. The adults all exchange gifts. Every year this means that I have to think of something for them to get me and then be disappointed that they got me something else. Every friggin’ year my brother-in-law gives me another useless LED flashlight. A head-mounted flashlight, for god’s sake?! What could I possibly want that for? I asked for socks. At least they’re useful. Please give me socks.
I love it. When my coworkers are getting all stressed about holiday shopping, it’s like people talking about a disease they all have. And most holiday gifts, ISTM, are things people would never buy for themselves because while they may be neat to have, they aren’t worth the money. I haven’t ever missed it.
I’ve posted this before–but I think it’s worth sharing again.
It requires a bit of silliness and everyone’s cooperation.
Agree to try to give the most practical and mundane gifts possible. Examples: light bulbs, batteries (gift not included), paper towels, scrubbies, laundry soap, toilet paper, windshield washer fluid, IB profin, Band Aids. Each person secretly picks something and brings enough of it for everyone, individually wrapped as Chritsmas gifts.
The gifts look festive under the tree. When people open their various gifts they need to say things like “Ooooooo iodized salt! For me! How did you know???” “Wow! Ninja Turtle Band Aids–and they’re water proof!” “I didn’t know they still MADE 100 watt bulbs.”
It’s a lot of fun–everything is cheap and useful.
We started this one year when we were very broke. The tree looked so empty that I wrapped the groceries. We discovered–quite by accident–that it was just as much fun opening a $1.00 jar of pickles as it was opening an expensive present.
I can’t wait to see what I get this year–I’m hoping for canned apricots and some Comet cleanser. But one never knows.
My kids gave me a head-mounted flashlight a couple years ago, and it’s one of the best gifts I ever received. The thing is so handy, I must use it 15-20 times a year. When you need light on what you’re working on but also need both hands free, there’s no substitute. I often use it when I barbeque (especially in the fall & winter when the sun goes down early) because our grill is at the far end of the deck and it’s hard to see the meat.
This year, my wife and I aren’t giving each other anything. We just bought a new house, we’re in the middle of one expensive renovation project and have a couple lined up, our camera just died and we need a new one, we’re probably getting a new TV soon, and the economy isn’t helping things. We’re still getting things for the kids and for siblings/parents/inlaws/neices/nephews, but we figured we’d save some money and not give each other anything this year.
Gotta second this. Head mounted flashlights are the standard for Peace Corps volunteers (who know their flashlights), because chances are if you need light you are also doing something and might want your hands, too. When the apocalypse comes, Gus is gonna be glad he has the flashlight.
I am giving gifts to my parents only, with everyone else taken care of with a donation to a local agency. Oh, and I have to give a gift to my Secret Santa person at work, but that’s it.
About ten years ago, we realized how dumb it was to try to buy things for each other at Christmas. It turns into a competition after awhile, whether with each other or with previous Christmas gifts. If we see something we want, we buy it. At Christmas, we buy books for the grandkids and savings bonds. That’s it.
I only give gifts to my Mom/Stepdad and my in-laws. My husband and I don’t even exchange gifts. We’ve been so broke for so long we’re just used to it even though we’re not so broke anymore. Our nieces and nephews don’t do badly without us, and anyways it’s degenerated to a weird competition thing in some areas of the family.
Since I have to travel cross country to visit my family, I hate having to buy things. I talked to my mom about it and decided that I’m just going to take all of them out for a nice dinner while I’m at home.
