Anyone Ever Mocked a Celebrity...To Their Face?

Several years ago, back in high school, I was on West End in Nashville grabbing pizza before a concert with some buddies. We were discussing many things and eventually, as is wont to happen in Nashville, someone brought up country music. I, being me, vociferously denounced country as the bastard electric child of bluegrass and its stars as flimsy pop artists like Britney Spears and such.
That was when someone pointed out to me that Tim McGraw and Faith Hill were sitting in the corner booth of our Pizza Hut. :eek:
These days I would just cram another slice of pepperoni in my pie-hole. But nooOOoo. I went on and on making a terrific ass of myself. I can only give props to Faith and Tim, who I know heard me, for being classy enough to not dignify my snarky existence.
Anyone ever, inadvertently or otherwise, mocked a celeb to their face? Better yet, ever done it and had the chutzpah to ask for an autograph?

Not exactly to her face, she was behind me.

Not me, but once a friend of mine went up to NFL QB Bubby Brister in the local Hooters and told him “You throw the best bounce-pass in the NFL.”

I was standing in a bar in Sydney and looked at the guy next to me. It was well known Aussie actor/comedian Garry McDonald. I stared at him and said, “I know who you are…” and just at the moment he started to look superior said, “You’re John Wayne.” He just looked shitty… I had wanted him to outsmart me.

I saw English musician Billy Bragg in concert and he made some comments about how unfortunate it was that England can’t ever beat Australia at cricket. After the show I met him backstage and while shaking hands with him I said, “I only wanted to meet you to check out if I was right…and I am …you’re the spitting image of Michael Kasprowicz.” Kasprowicz is a member of the Aussie team that England couldn’t beat. He laughed.

I did, inadvertently. I met John McEnroe at his press conference before an exhibition match. I got him to sign a tennis ball for me, and I told him that I’d grown up watching him play.

“You’re kind of dating me, aren’t you?” he said.

“Uh, I’m not that old,” I said. He just signed my ball and walked off.

Bill Frist toured my hospital recently, and some of my fellow residents and I agreed that we would make cat noises if any of us walked past him, but no one did.

I was playing poker online a couple weeks ago and Willie Garson was on, chatting with another celeb and saying he had a rehearsal the next day. I congratulated him on getting a part in his school play. It was totally stupid and not even that funny. I apologized when I saw him on later.

At a Jefferson Starship concert at B.B. King’s in New York, I was sitting at a table pretty close to the band. During a lull, I called out, “Rose Goes to Yale!” as if they’d ever play that song. This song comes from an album that came out in 1984 when the band was splitting apart, and the current members of the band pretty much won’t play anything they recorded from 1979 to 1984 (except for Marty Balin, who’ll do stuff from his 1981 solo album.) Paul Kantner, my favorite member of the Jefferson Starship, took a drag on his cigarette, swung over to the microphone and said, “Rose went to Yale, she fucked a couple of guys…”

Kantner seemed to have been peeved by this, but I really didn’t mean to insult him. Unline the smartasses who were calling out, “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now!” and “We Built this City!” I was sort of hoping against hope that they’d play that one, though it was obviously pointless to hope it.

I wrote down the story of that night and sent it as a sort of online birthday card for a friend of mine, which remains on line, right here:

I’ve posted this before but… I saw Aerosmith on their first national tour, opening for BTO and *Mott the Hoople * in San Francisco. I managed to piss them off when, as they left the stage after a chaotic set to almost no applause, I shouted out, “Yeah! Dream ON! You guys will never be half as big as Mott The Hoople!!” Tyler turned and glared at me before leaving the stage.

Anyone here remeber Mott The Hoople?

Yup. All The Young Dudes {mind you, Bowie wrote it for them}.

I met the Spin Doctor’s after one of their concerts and the lead singer was swigging on a bottle of Southern Comfort or something and I said, “The first step is admitting it!” har har.

And we saw Don from Don’s Guns (local celeb) at the airport and did our best to get his attention by imitating him. I don’t think he was amused. :smiley:

This past New Year’s Eve my friend was catching a flight from New York to Minneapolis and called me from the plane before takeoff. He was whispering and told me that he got bumped to first class and all the band members of the B52s were around him (they were doing a show at a Minnesota casino for NewYears) and he was sitting directly next to Fred Schneider. I told him to turn up the volume on his phone and hold it out in front of him. Then I started singing loudly “There’s a monster in my pants and it does a naughty dance, whenever it comes out the people always shout ‘Oh no a great big monster’.”
It was some song Fred had recorded as a solo act in 91’.

I later asked my friend what Fred’s reaction was. He said he just smiled, shook his head and laughed. Maybe he was suprised someone remembered that song?

I was sort of hoping that someone here had been socked by Russell Crowe or Colin Farrell. But then, I don’t suppose folks who engage in fisticuffs with celebrities are likely to post actively here.

Either that or the settlement forbids any public discussion. :smiley:

Both of these are second-hand stories, but…

…my brother once happened to step into an elevator with John Malkovich. John noticed my brother staring at him, and sort of nodded to acknowledge that yes it was him. My brother exclaimed “I loved you in that jewel heist movie!” (see “Being John Malkovich” for the punchline to the joke.) Malkovich apparently forced himself to smile and chuckle. My brother added “I guess I’m not the first guy to say that line to you, huh?” To which Malkovich wearily shook his head and uttered “Sorry, but no.”
…An older gentleman whom I know happened to be crossing Manhattan’s Park Avenue alongside a small party of folks including Carlo Ponti and his wife Sophia Loren! As they all walked across the street, all of Sophia’s party managed to make it all the way across the street before the light changed, except for Sophia. She got momentarily stranded on the island in the middle of the road, alongside this gentleman.

The gentleman in question couldn’t help himself, he had to say something. So he piped in: “Forgive me, Ms. Loren, but I just have to tell you, as a young teenaged boy, my greatest fantasy was to be stranded on an island with Sophia Loren!”

Loren laughed, then leaned close to him and whispered “Don’t tell Carlo!” then winked at him. The light changed, and she strolled away.

Ooh, burn!

Correct answer: “It’s just an autograph, John – I think we should see other people.” :wink:

I’ve tried to zing Harlan Ellison on several occasions. Basic truth: Plow boys shouldn’t draw on hired guns. :smiley:

About 1996 we were at a Dodger game, rooting for the Cardinals, and my brother started yelling at poor Billy Ashley (.233 BA lifetime). At the time, he was hitting something like .196, and Dan was yelling stuff like “Nice hitting there!” and “Try hitting at least your weight!”

I feel bad for Billy, really. I mean, to get to the show to even ride the bench means you’re in the top .0001% of your profession, and I’m sure that if he’s hanging on at the major league level, he’d make almost anyone in even AAA ball look pretty bad.

Funny you should mention that.

A few years ago I was barhopping somewhere on the lower east side with a few friends. We just left this one place and bumped into this guy right outside having a smoke. The sidewalk was really narrow and he was standing very close to the door, so I inadvertently elbowed him on the way out. He made a rude remark, I replied in kind, and my friends and I kept walking.

About ten seconds later, one of them said, “dude, that was Russell Crowe.”

I guess I figured he would have been, well, bigger.

2002, Giants A’s exhibition game. I was sitting in the Right Field “Arcade” section and David Justice was in right for the A’s. We were all ragging on him, trying to get the right fielder’s attention as usual, and I got up and yelled “Hey David - did you see the Oscars?”

He actually started laughing and turned around and gave us a wave.

Oh, and in November I threw a beer on Ron Artest, and started a brawl! Hah!

-John Green