In March I dated this guy, J, and we really hit it off. I’m not experienced with relationships in any way and he was very sweet and understanding. We dated about three weeks and it was going perfectly. Which sort of freaked me out. I was having a stressful time at work and home at the same time and as much as I loved being with him I wasn’t in a place to be in something serious, which is where I knew it was going. I told him this, fully expecting to call him in a few weeks and pick up where we left off. He was very understanding and sweet as usual.
Well, after we broke up my life went on a roller coaster, the high point being moving into my own house and the low being my dad in the hospital for three weeks with a burst gall bladder. So six months went by and I never called him.
Two weeks ago I was talking to my roommate about missed chances and the one that got away and said that J was definetly mine. She said I was too young to have that big of a regret and I should get a hold of him. My life has finally stablized to the point where I’m wanting to date again, so I dug out his e-mail and dropped him a line, not expecting an answer. Well, he did answer and we’re meeting for drinks tonight after work.
Has anyone done anything like this before? How did it work? Was it awkward at first, then you eased into. Was the chemistry still there? Any advice or stories would make me feel better. I managed to not think about it all weekend and now I’m having a slow day at work and mildly flipping out. I didn’t realize how important this was to me until just now. I throw myself on the more experience millions for wisdom on how to not screw this up a second time.
Many years ago, my roommate Scott met and began dating a girl named Nicolle.
I really liked having her around- and, frankly, thought she was too good for him. He apparently wasn’t ready for a real relationship, and cheated on her a bit. Eventually, I guess she got tired of that sort of thing, and broke up with him. It hit him pretty badly- I don’t think anyone had ever broken up with him before; he had always done the heartbreaking.
About seven years later, he just happened to run into her again- and, several months later, they started dating. He’d changed a lot during those years, and for the better.
I was a groomsman at their wedding about a year and a half ago, and they just had a baby girl.
So, yeah- there are some good stories with happy endings.
I have my own “getting back the one that got away story” but I thought you guys might like this one better…
The guy that owned the pizza place I worked at while I was in high school ended up marrying his high school sweetheart…40 years later.
After high school they went to different colleges and slowly drifted apart and married different people. Over the years their moms stayed in the same small town in SC and kept in touch. ~40 years later (their moms must have been pushing 80 at this point) they both ended up widow[er]s and their moms brought them home and fixed them up again.
My best friend dated a guy in high school many years back. He was the Big Crush, and when their several-week long relationship didn’t pan out, she was devastated…for a whole couple weeks, till she met the next guy. Stupid high school stuff, teeny-bopper love, right? She always referred to him, however half-seriously, as “the one that got away.”
They kept in touch through college, seeing each other once every year or two. She met a man and had a child with him, but their relationship didn’t work out. She began talking to the high school guy again last January, but more frequently than ever before. Confessions were made, and it turned out that he had always loved her all along - but first wanted to finish college and have a good job so he could provide a good life for her (I guess going out with her in the meantime would have been too much of a “distraction” from these goals, but it doesn’t seem to bother my friend that he made her wait 8 years to tell her how he really felt). In mid-February, I drove them and a few of our close friends to Vegas so they could elope, and they’re expecting their first child (well, her second) in December. They are happy as can be (except for the money troubles, of course!).
We started dating in October, (mostly fun with a hint that it might turn serious someday, but with a 3 hour commute to consider), and had planned a winter camping trip for February. In January, I got a call saying that she had made up with an old flame (who was local) and that the camping trip was off.
I wrote her, letting her know there were no hard feelings and that if she changed her mind, to let me know. In late April or early May, I got a 6:00 a.m phone call (she was working nights at the time) asking if I had meant what I had said about getting back together, some day. I said “Sure.” I was going back to Michigan to do some yard work for my Mom the following weekend, so she dropped by my Mom’s house, we took the rowboat out on the lake and had a long talk. After that, I didn’t have to worry about old flames.
Okay. Thank you to those that have responded. Still nervous but trying to calm down. Leaving work now, quick stop at home for a bite of dinner and to freshen up, then I’ll see him.
Cross your fingers for me and I’ll update when I return.
Well, in case the above doesn’t tell you, it went well. The spark is still there. It started out a little awkward and slow but once we started talking and got warmed up it was like no time had passed. We’re both going away this weekend (seperately) but we’ll get together again after that.
So, thank you to all that answered. Hopefully this will continue to be one of those happy stories.
I dated a guy for seven months, and then broke up with him for all sorts of good reasons that I rapidly forgot over the next several months… then he would be dating someone else, and then I would be dating someone else, and it took two or three years until we were both single and had the opportunity to rekindle our relationship.
The second time around I stuck it out for 18 months, but I’ve never looked back since. I can’t believe I wasted four years of my life either dating him or pining for him! I had good reasons when I tossed him back the first time.
