It seems she is [del]whoring herself out[/del] auctioning herself for a date. I guess it saves some dolphins, or a platypus or something. Who cares, really, the point is you get to hang out with Hayden Panettiere. 
It’s for one winner and five friends,so really, six people can divide the cost up. Anyone else willing to throw in a few bucks? I can cover the first $20, and I’ll offer up my eBay account, if you guys can take care of the rest. 
I’ll get right on her… err… it.
If the governor of New York can pay $4,300 for a two-hour session with a hooker from New Jersey, then $4,180 (current bid) for two separate meals, four hours of whale watching, a $1,000 American Express gift card and the company of Miss Panettiere sounds like a bargain!
Even without sex.
Why whales? Why do so many celebrities care about the whales? Is it like the cool thing to do now?
Bill Murray went on record* to save the whales years ago.
He tried to raise public awareness of cetacean terminal flatulence. As he so eloquently put it: “We need to save these magnificent animals before they blast themselves into extinction.”
*“That’s Not Funny, That’s Sick!”
High school or college?
Oh wait, that’s a typo.
(I like the fact that the auction advertises “Free Shipping.” So, they can actually lift the ocean so you can take the cruise without leaving your house? And how does one pack a Hayden Panettiere?)
I would if I had the money to spare. But only if I could go in drag. And hey, GIFT CARD! Hayden and I could go dress-shopping, I could get fitted for a bra, she could teach me about the dreaded VPL.
::wonders if he can raise some large amounts of funds really quick::
The meal is in Eva Longoria’s restaurant.
(I just like thinking about Eva.)
I’m not sure, but I certainly know what I would like to pack her with .