Ok here’s the deal… I love my wife’s immediate family, I honestly consider them my own parents and brothers/sisters. We’ve been married for 10 years, and I’m closer to them than my own family! I even get along well with the sister’s husband that nobody likes. I’m generally easy-going and can get along with anyone. There’s just one problem… My mother-in-law’s extended family gathering for Christmas!!
Every year, we are expected to drive about 7 hours (round trip) in a single day to visit family that my wife doesn’t even keep in contact with. My mother-in-law can’t seem to understand why we don’t want to go, and my wife is so afraid of hurting her mom’s feelings (she is VERY sensitive and gets her feelings hurt anytime her entire family isn’t there).
This side of the family is… ummmmm… basically ripped straight from an episode of Jerry Springer. Backwoods country folks for sure. The older adults are bad enough, but the cousins who are around our age are HIGHLY questionable. The girls all have kids with multiple (absent) fathers, drug addiction runs rampant, and overall they just give off the impression of being “trashy” people with no class. Some of them look like they haven’t bathed in weeks. Plus they barely even speak to me (I’m a “city boy”) so I would feel uncomfortable regardless.
My wife’s grandmother is an extreme hardcore Christian. I’m also a Christian, but not nearly as devoted as she is (not many people are). She makes us all sit around in a huge circle, and we go around the room and tell everyone what blessings we thank God for in the past year. I don’t have a problem with this, as I’m thankful for many blessings and don’t mind speaking in front of people.
HOWEVER, as soon as we get done with that, the uncle who is in prison for life for “supposedly” molesting his own daughters will call the house, and they pass around the phone so everybody can speak to him. I’ve never met the guy, but they all claim he’s innocent and his wife was evil and put him in prison just to be mean… YEAH RIGHT!! So I don’t feel comfortable talking to the guy and I’ll just pass the phone to the next person… and they ALL stare at me like I’ve just insulted every person in the room. I’m sure I do insult them by not participating, but I’m personally sickened by the crime he’s accused of, and honestly don’t care to ever speak to him. I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable about this and it makes me dread the entire trip.
Somehow the other husbands (both my wife’s sisters are married) have excuses to miss this family gathering, but my wife is different… She will NOT allow me to miss, and gets very angry if I complain at all about going (even though she complains about my extended family nonstop). If I ever decided to stay home, I’d never hear the end of it, and honestly I might as well just move out of my house because the “scolding” will be almost unbearable.
Bottom line is that I REALLY don’t want to do this every year, but I don’t feel like I have a choice. Do I just suck it up and deal w/ it with a smile on my face, and accept that fact that her extended family is never really going to like me??