Missed the edit window:
A tractor trailer gets stuck under an overpass. It is wedged so tight it cannot be moved backwards or forwards. How you get the tractor trailer unstuck without damaging the vehicle or dismantling it?
This one’s a bit tougher as it generally requires the Q&A to suss out the true situation:
A man is found shot dead in the middle of 53 bikes. Why was he killed?
The “bikes” are actually Bicycle playing cards. The man was a card cheat.
Let the air out of the tires.
Here’s mine:
There’s a midget clown, having sex with a dead crocodile. A school bus drives up and opens its door, and thousands of ping pong balls come out. The crocodile says, “Hey, you’re not Gregory Peck!” What color is the midget’s cummerbund?
Oh, wait, sorry, that’s my sex fantasy.
Reminds me of a joke I used to tell in high school.
If you have a bowling ball in one hand, and a ladder in the other, how many pancakes does it take to cover the roof of a doghouse?
None, because cats can’t ride bicycles.
I have no idea where I hear that first, but I will remember it until the day that I fade from this existence. Along with that bar poem from Cocktail… And the little drag hula ditty that Timon sings and dances as a diversion for the bad guys in The Lion King…
Deflate the tyres slightly, so it lowers the trailer?
I actually saw this done on a program on Discovery; they were trying to move a house and didn’t have enough clearance under a bridge. Deflating the tyres gave them another 3", which was just enough.
My favourite one of these, one of the few that makes sense in real world terms:
On Monday morning Sally took a taxi to JFK airport. She boarded a Jumbo Jet, and flew to Charles De Gaulle Airport in Paris. On arrival she took a taxi to a hotel, had a meal, went to her room then read a book until bedtime. On Tuesday morning she took a taxi to Charles De Gaulle, boarded a Jumbo Jet and flew to JFK. While in Paris she did not visit any tourist attractions, do any shopping, meet with friends or family, or conduct any type of business other than paying for her meal, room and taxi. What was the purpose of her visit?
Guess:
She was an aircraft pilot?
I always heard the answer was
16, because ice cream has no bones
Mr Shine is correct.
Correct. You can’t let ALL the air out, because then you won’t be able to drive the truck!
Mary has a clock that chimes every half hour. She comes home and hears the clock chime once. A half hour later, it chimes once. A half hour after that, it chimes once. A half hour later, it chimes once.
What time did Mary get home?
12:00
She heard the final chime of 12, then the single chimes at 12:30, 1:00, and 1:30.
Correct!