I would look to my past, and was a lot more social in my 20s… Once my travel days were over, people drifted away. COVID accelerated that. Then a barrage of family deaths left my basically paralyzed… It’s that middle-ground – sometimes I thought “I’m not social ENOUGH”, but that wasn’t it.. I don’t like drama, liars, and if I don’t have things in common with people, there’s nothing to talk about. Especially when relationship go bad - it lingers with me.
Since my little brother’s passing, I haven’t left my house more than a dozen times in the last 3.5 years, so my online activity might have been more active, but the arguing or not relating (usually people not relating to the few things I love) made me go into a different way (less online chatter - especially privately).. Then even people I talked to occasionally online were becoming bad for my health.. I’m alone every day, and I limit any communication on the internet and have noticed a slight improvement on my mental health.
Just my testimony for those who might be in the middle and not know where to go.
Not a doctor, but lack of exercise in middle-aged and older men (and possibly women) generally leads to increased inflammation in the body, which could certainly contribute to the pain in your foot.
Your main question, about the effects of social isolation on middle-aged and older people: it is linked to such things as heart disease, stroke, dementia and early death, as well as worsening of existing problems like depression and anxiety. It sounds like your perceived improvement is not common, at least not in the long term.
My experience is the opposite of yours. I’m a pretty strong introvert, but I don’t find social contact painful or hateful, just difficult; but if I go very long without it, I do not feel better.
I was running out of breath just taking a shower. Things got so bad where (someone else) I got a stationery bike.. I’ve had insomnia (and other things) for so long, but it only wears me down as I age, and I’d skip even a regular 5-10 minute cycle, and then it would turn into a week… And since June, I’ve had a horrible foot injury. Nature called in the middle of the night, and I stubbed my toe, but it turns out the real pain is on the left bone of my left foot. It’s still killing me, and so I’m using this (grief, and other things) as an excuse to myself so I don’t feel as responsible.
But to be serious, I don’t really care about long-term anything.. I live month-to-month, and I figure “what’s the use?” - I never liked exercise, but I used to play basketball, or at least drove, walked to places, where now I have my groceries delivered and work from home.
Have you seen a doctor about the foot? If a bone healed wrong, they might be able to reset it. If you have an infection, that might be important to treat.
I need a fair amount of social interaction for my mental health, but people vary a lot in how much social activity they find helpful. Especially if you aren’t concerned about the long term, if you enjoy social isolation, go for it. There’s a history of monks doing that, it’s not as if you are trying some bizarre experiment.
But i hope you can find a way to improve the foot.
You are working very hard to convert yourself into a permanent cripple. Both physically and mentally. This is not a good path for you or anyone else to follow.
Beyond pointing out the obvious, there’s not much we can do to help directly. But please know there are people here, including me, who wish you a happy and painless remaining life. But only you can take the steps that seem most likely to lead to that good result.
I appreciate that… I try sometimes… I did stretch a little today. Less than a minute, but it’s better than nothing I guess.. I will get some exercise by shoveling my driveway in winter.
You most assuredly can break bones by stubbing your toe. I’ve done less and broken bones.
It should not hurt 6 mos. later. At.. All.
There’s got to be urgent care places.
You know, I get it. I have speaking difficulties. I dove inside my head many years ago.
I do have lots of people in my life. I just can’t communicate a whole lot. So I stand apart. If I lived alone I don’t think I’d live much differently. I just hope I would not recluse myself and get the help I need.